Thankful Thursday: and it keeps getting better!

Almost the end of the week again..or as far as i'm concerned, it's already the end of the week, because we all know that once you have your last class, the day is "officially" over...what i do in my "free time" doesn't go on any clock!

Again, i've had a wonderful week, and i stand here looking back in amazement. This week seemed to once again be about patience and trust and holding myself back from freaking out, but instead just letting God's word guide me.

Which kinda brings me to a mini point i have today...It's mini cuz it's not the actual post, see :P anywho, it's again about the fact that whatever rules/laws God lays down, they are for our own good. Unfortunately it's easier to throw a tantrum like an immature two year old thats being deprived of candy. See, life, every single day is SO MUCH BETTER when you're living it according to the rules. There are rules to life, and some people refuse to acknowledge this. I won't lump it under Karma, because that is only a part of the rules. They are not there to punish you, their purpose is not depriving you of happiness. Most of the time, you realize that following given rules keeps you away from a substandard life. It's saying no to what you don't need anyways.

But still, for some reason, it seems to be human nature to want to do what you want when you want without any sort of looking beyond the surface. Throwing a tantrum is often the easiest reaction. I should know. I have the amazing ability to go from happy to pissed properly off in one word flat. I know this is wrong, because reflecting on such instances shows you the stupidity of you actions, and yet, at the time i er...sometimes, you know, get caught up in the moment and act without thinking..working on that though, because...

This might make some sense to somebody, and maybe none to anyone, but, on Wednesday, i had a test that i've been dreading and being negative about all semester. Now, in the days prior to this test, i kept meeting the theme of not speaking bad, or thinking bad of anyone or any circumstance, you know, those lines about may the words that come out of your mouth be edifying and all that, not ones that bring people down. Honestly, with all my soul, all i wanted to do was curse like a sailor and complain and moan about how terrible it all was. God spoke sense into me though, brought things into perspective and silenced me with logic. This lecturer, and this course had done nothing to me. It was i, who for some reason decided to adopt this horrendous attitude towards it.

Coming to my point now :P, i would like to highlight the fact that i was the one adopted an attitude towards the course. A negative attitude. The same thing which i now realize kinda messed with my whole upwards and forwards mobility :P. Slowly, and with a LOT of difficulty for me, i started blocking negativity concerning the course. If a bad thought came up concerning the lecturer, i'd shoot it down and think of a good thing about it and such. On the day of the test, amidst people who were nervous to the ears all around me,and saying all sorts of delicious evilness about the lecturer, and the fact that i did not study anyfink :P i was chilll about it. Just said my prayer and went on obeying the lesson He was teaching. Call me crazy, but that was my most important assignment, the working on me part.

See, any laws that would involve you correcting your mental attitude, cannot possibly be because God is bored. He wants you to have some sense so that you could live a better life. That's all i can say, really, because when i do what's right, apart from just having all them blessings drown me, i see the point! I see, in logical progression how it affects my life in a positive way. It's the same principle guiding my new found principles on sex...but that is another post :D

I am thankful for GOD! above all, because without Him...there is nothing at all

I am thankful for this week....oh how i feared this week! but it has turned out/is turning out megasuper in my favour...because He loves me more than i deserve!

I am thankful for them A's that i'm gathering...again, not my doing!

I am thankful that i am able to, with a simple prayer, cast all my problems into much more capable hands

I am thankful that even if i've been at extreme lows where i was so confused about God, questioned my faith, decided that i've lost my faith, lost my belief in Him, been skeptical, cynical, bitter, angry at Him and all sorts of things that i wish on nobody, He has somehow brought me to a place where i no longer...okay, not as much as before, feel crazy for stating the realities of His blessings in my life...like say what you want, but i simply cannot deny the "coincidences" that cross my path each day...sebi first time na mistake, second time na coincidence, third time, na pattern be dat :D

I am thankful for poetry

I am thankful for kindness

I am thankful for spoken word poetry

I am thankful for spoken word poetry on def poetry on youtube

I am thankful for what i said before+ that makes me cry :P

I am thankful for love!

I am thankful for beauty in everything

I am thankful for beautiful people..nope, not looks this time

I am thankful for people so good, that they don't even realize how wonderful they are, pure, innocent, unspoiled by life...i'm not talking about nuns here. It's trivial things like acting "moral" that is NOT my criteria for a good person..hola if you feel me!

I am thankful that i get to have such people in my life

I am thankful for warmer weather! yup, we rockin that +3 like it's summer!

I am thankful that He...He moves past my screwups faster than i do

I am thankful that i get the opportunity to go home for new years. Thankful that i am in a position to be able to do so at this moment in time. No be everyday awuf :P

I am thankful for His lessons!

I am thankful for His word.

I am thankful that He never ever lets me down or leaves me in the middle of nowhere with no map and no point. He always has a point. Just obey dey go, and when you finally get the point, you'll be like woooord? :P

I am thankful for humorous poetry

I am thankful for green tea

I am thankful for Oriflame...teehee melove! melove!

I am thankful for my accidental friends, people with whom my paths have crossed seemingly by coincidence, but yet have come to mean so much to me.

I am thankful for negative people that are no longer in my lives, thankful that God gives me the strength to say no, and reject less that i deserve.

I am thankful that He's teaching me so much about loving me...it's not easy, not for me.

I am thankful that He's teaching me the difference between being caring, being there for someone, and being used and unappreciated.

I am thankful that He's delivering me from that

I am thankful for my Mommy!..and your mommy and your mommy too..aren't mommies the best? My mother means the world to me, and in every way that you can think of, i wouldn't be me without her. She had me, and she raised me good! Intelligence, love, kindness, humility, common sense and care she instilled in me, knowingly or unknowingly...i love my mother more than any words could ever describe. I am incredibly blessed to have her

I am thankful for my daddy...all my principles and moral stubbornness and allergy to "whats not right" are from him. Nothing to complain about there, because any way you look at it, sound principles and a good sense of morals are crucial! and theres the fact that he doesn't accept dulling, so you can't be foolish growing up with him around :P

I am thankful for BigBro and his sister and...lol all of them jor! they raised me! There is nothing like an older sibling to look up to..and i've had the most amazing role models whom i am ultra proud of...again, a blessing!

I am thankful for fairness

I am thankful for long back and forth conversations with lots of laughs and jokes that don't need to be explained.

I am thankful for comparison...same reason why i ain't even mad at all the people who did me wrong...it only makes me appreciate the good ones that much more

I am thankful for meeting up with one of those aforementioned accidental friends today. She's got two kids, a husband of 13 years...and she rocks! I am thankful for her. I really am

I am thankful for Bonjour..lol, nope, not good mornings o...even if i'm thankful for those too. See, Bonjour are these little confections, see, that i stumbled on after years of just walking by without a backward glance. Soft soft biscuit thing, yummy gooey sticky feeling (baileys! cappuccino! coconut! vanilla! creme brulee!) enhen, where was i? yes, marshmallow with just enough tang and all gloriously covered in chocolate... make that double thankful! :P

I am thankful for my sisters again...the most loving and supportive and coooool people i know! teehee...i raised them!..but they have their own uniqueness, vibrant, curious minds...i learn so much from them :)

I am thankful for my faculty! cuz we rock like that! this is good, ba? feeling a sense of solidarity and everything!

I am thankful for realizing simple things that i was blind to before...too embarrassing to even share..but it involves transport and alternative routes...

Thankful that i am able to help some people some times. I know i'll never be able to help all the people all the time, but i do pray that i get to help as much people as i can..can't think of a better way to share the love...not to mention that you get to feel good too! :D

I am thankful for that adorable couple i saw the other day. Both of them were well past 70..first, oga Chivalry held the door open for me, and then i spied him brushing snow off his wifes coat...it was the most moving thing i've seen in a while. Care is one of the best expressions of love :)

I am thankful!!!!!!

P.S...live by the rules..they are not there to constrain you, but to set you free. Not to keep you from things, but to make sure you get only the best and never settle for substandard...try.. :D

stay blessed!

In line with the last TT..

I pray that this is the attitude ya'll have towards every situation that you find yourselves in in the coming week...if you're happy o, sad o, thankful o...and especially when our humanity tells us we're at the end of the road...Faith will set you free from every limitation and every lie...

Here

*hangs head sheepishly*...so who feels like giving me a mini tutorial on adding youtube videos to posts?

Stay blessed, stay faithful!

Thankful Thursday: when in the midst of a storm

It never ceases to amaze me just how apt God is. He will always send me the messages that address whatever problem i might be going through. In the past week, it's been messages about faith and just letting Him do His thing and not stressing about anything. Thats easier said than done. I have been on the verge of a major freak out since before this week started. All the people freaking out around me are not helping matters either...

And yet in the midst of all this, He calms me, He is not too much in a hurry to repeat the same reassuring words to me. He says to me, He says, calm down, i've got it all in control, do not give in to the lie that fear is. Fear is a lie, anxiety is a lie. They are things that distract you from remembering the fact that God has it in SUCH control. Like when..er, Peter, abi? sank when he started doubting...thats what fear is,a distraction that takes you away from His awesomness, because you get so caught up in trying to make this fear go away, that you forget to ask God to do that. The moment you ask Him, it will poof and disappear. I promise.

I am thankful for His care

I am thankful for the calmness He grants me in the midst of what is only an illusion of a storm. He however understands that i'm just a lil human girl, and the illusion is sometimes more than i can handle

I am thankful for all the miracle He don sprinkle this week week...na so so ojoro :D all the things i was dreading have just sorted themselves

I am thankful for His lessons...on Love this time..in the last two days i've learned to love somebody i had uncounsciously make up my mind to dislike..not as if she made it hard to dislike o! but God has opened my eyes wellu, and now all i can see is the good in her..an it's a beautiful thing...we often create barriers and then are surprised when we're stuck...liberate your souls! serious "set your conscience free" stuff...for real..owe no man anything except love...that lesson goes beyond just finding it in me to love her...but that one na long tori :P

I am thankful for aformentioned woman...i no for learn lesson without her

I am thankful for my lovely sisters and their love for me

I am thankful for my friend Ivi who might never know how she turned my mood around today by simply acknowledging that something was the matter with me

I am thankful that God talked sense into me today and talked me into praying instead of sulking

I am thankful for my Dean...amazing person! make God bless am wellu

I am thankful for His laws that He's engraving in my heart step by step

I am thankful that He is carrying out a "out with the ick and in with the good" campaign in my soul

I am thankful that He doesn't let me hit the floor...He barely lets me trip, not to talk of fall sef

I am thankful that i am surrounded by some truly nice people

I am thankful for...lol for chemistry between people

I am thankful for frozen toes...because i get all cooled out like a three year old..lookit that! my toes can't feel!

I am thankful for crisp snow that explodes into a carpet of twinkling diamonds under the streetlights

I am thankful for the warmth of being indoors

I am thankful for markets...seriously, i have an addiction

I am thankful for tea and cakes and chocolates and biscuits...hush, don't judge me! :P

I am thankful for kindness and good humour and courtesy

I am thankful for fairness

I am thankful for pidgin english

I am thankful for Naija songs in Pidgin..anybody heard Shakara by Falz? heelarious!

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for beauty

I am thankful for learning to love myself

I am thankful for inspiration

I am thankful for books

I am thankful for warm cozy beds

I am thankful for His perseverance

I am thankful for the way He lifts all my problems up, up and away

I am thankful for this blessing of being able to experience life with the abundance of His grace...His way is the best way to live life to the fullest...every day...EVERY DAY is a celebration

I am thankful that praising Him comes naturally

I am thankful for all the support He's sent my way in my daily devo's

I am thankful for the Nneka song He put in my head that i was singing all day...that song helped me meyn "God no go give you anything wey you no go fir handle!"

Always remember to place everything under His care. Struggling to do it on your own is a major waste of time and Joy...just cast your burdens on Him and trust that it will be done. Doubt, anxiety, worry...are emotions that we should learn not just to put aside lightly, but to throw away with great force. Personally? i reject every lie and stubbornly only believe that He is gonna make it all alright. Trust. :P

Have yourselves a lovely and very much blessed week

P.s...try it, honestly, try it today, tomorrow, and come back and tell me what happened. Dedicate EVERYTHING..nothing is too mundane to place under His care...the way He'll sort it will leave you standing with your jaw on the ground...

Thankful Thurdsay : I was made to love You..and be Loved by You

^_^

I am thankful for Tobymac :D

Yesterday was my birthday...I am thankful that He saw me through another great year

I am thankful for His blessings...

I am thankful for the love i got yesterday...it was..a LOT! i have the best friends and family in the whole wide world :D

I am thankful for this one friend of mine, who's birthday is today. I am double thankful that i have him in my life

I am thankful that one thing one thing, this week is almost over

I am thankful that God lifts me above every problem every day...if i told you guys, you'll probably be like yea riiigghhh! but for the last month and some weeks, everything that might have been a problem to me just dissolves into thin air, it gets solved, it gets taken care of...and i am thankful to Him who makes it so :D

I am...thankful for His corrections and nudges and prods when i'm not doing right

I am thankful for His word

I am thankful for encouragement

I am thankful that i have people who love and believe in me...it's the most precious thing ever

I am thankful that sometimes, i cry, most times, i laugh, and some days i wake up grumpy...i'm human, and it's a beautiful thing to feel..it really is

I am thankful for all the times i catch my bus!

I am thankful for my lecturers :D i have some really super ones!

I am thankful for His grace and favour..which He gives liberally, regardless of if i'm deserving

I am thankful for my grandparents :D who love me trulydeeplymadly

I am thankful for that wikid cake yesterday..yum yum!

I am thankful that i have lived 18 years surrounded by the most awesome people right from birth. I have had the best role models growing up, never for one second lacking the older sibling figure that i always longed for

I am thankful for my classmates..who really are sweethearts

I am thankful for bloggers ^_^ i love you guys tons!

I am thankful for youtube..i have learnt so much!

I am thankful for that freaky eloquence thing that happens whenever i pray out loud or er..sing a prayer..seriously! i spout poetry and i'm like wha?

I am thankful that He knows better than me what i want, and more importantly, need

I am thankful that He has a plan for my life that is more awesome than anything i could ever dream up

I am thankful that He pays attention to the little things...and often, those little things are the things that make all the difference :D

I am thankful that i am made to love Him :D

I am thankful for the kick ass devotionals i have...really...great words, great message

I am thankful for commercials...oh how i love commercials! :P

I am...er...i am thankful for assignments that have an end in sight from the moment i put my pen to paper

I am thankful for facebook and yahoo messenger and all the mediums through which i keep in touch with my lovelies

I am thankful for Wisdom that He gives to me little by little each day..as concerns dealing with people and understanding them individually

I am thankful for His lessons on...everything

I am thankful for inspiration

I am thankful that He is teaching me to curb my aggression...

I am thankful for chewing gum..yup, i am a chewer!!!

I am thankful for music

I am thankful for discretion, for His guiding voice

I am thankful that the truth ain't going anywhere!

I am thankful for my sisters...who as little as they are...are wise enough to forgive me for a lot of wrong things i've done them :P

I am thankful for forgiveness!

I am thankful for people who understand me and are there to listen to me ramble and rant until i calm down

I am thankful that it is possible for me to surrender everything into His hands and know that i have nothing to worry about...Jesus take the wheel!

I am thankful!!!! because there is always something to be thankful for...for the rain, for snow, for the way that little kid smiled at his mom, for the young man who gives up his seat for the pregnant girl, for the veggie seller who charms you silly, for the random women who tell you you're pretty, for the fact that you woke up this morning, for the fact that you have somebody to call and say whats up? to, for getting to work in one piece, for a bed to come home to, for music, for the lush green leaves on the trees, for the bare naked trees shivering in the grey winteryness, for tea! for makeup, for water, for beauty all around us...no matter what is going on, no matter how terrible you think your day is going...there is always something to be thankful for...so just focus on that..and you'll be surprised!

lol..He just dey butter my tea, dey sugar my bread dey go...i wish this joy on all of you!

be good!

Thankful Thursday : it's the little things

I am thankful for getting my econs presentation done in one night, and it turning out just fine!

I am thankful that i learnt a whole lot of things that evening about faith and trust and casting my burdens and committing everything into His hands and knowing that it's gonna be all right. My mouse stopped working, my mousepad on the laptop stopped working,..me i just started singing "God will make a way" :P it was really strange for me not to freak out, but i kept feeling this voice saying to just keep smiling and trust Him and see how it will turn out..so i kept singing, even read my bible small during the "break" and as He promised that it will be done before morning, it was done!

I am thankful for the bus driver who waited a whole minute as i ran for my bus...because of that, i wasn't late for class.

I am thankful for the A i got in my oral test today.

I am thankful that i am learning to make friends with my classmates..for a while there i looked upon them with relative skepticism..

I am thankful that God is so Awesome! His plans will numb your mind with their brilliance, and watching them unfold is a joyous thing! almost too good to be real, so you keep pinching yourself :P

I am thankful for God's patience with me...i for don slap myself upside the head tey tey

I am thankful that no matter what, He reminds me of whats what.

I am thankful that things are looking up for New Years! it's astonishing how everything is coming together! because..

I am thankful for the new friends i have in my life. People that turned up suddenly, and it's like i've known them forever. People that just pour in the positivity!

I am thankful that i have grandparents who love me

I am thankful that i have a roof over my head

I am thankful that even when i feel that i can't go on, He has faith in me. That is at the same time humbling and daunting...I cannot take responsibility for coming through! but..

I'm thankful that He understands that i'm only human

I'm thankful for His word

I'm thankful for His word that is not in the Bible, but in the actions and words of those around me. Inspiration and support and lessons in Him surround me every step of my day

I am thankful that i get to smile a LOT each day

I am thankful for youtube :P

I am thankful for my sisters

I am thankful for cloudy days

I am thankful for sunshine

I am thankful that each day i'm put on a journey of learning something new

I am thankful that i can realize that what i sometimes see as obstacles are merely stepping stones in God's plan to make a better me. In His plan to make me into the me He means me to be.

I am thankful that even though it gets hard sometimes, and boy does it get HARD...i can take a deep breath and ask Him for strength..He always comes through

On a side note though, i know it's a good thing from the ideological point of view, but in practice, this thing be breaking me! I have a temper. God has a well worked out plan to get rid of that. It is a very very formidable temper i have. I get irritated very easily and i have the worst tongue you'll ever come across. I mean no harm, but when i'm provoked, i go into hedgehog defense mode and can say some pretty unpleasant things. This is my wahala, and lately, i've noticed that whenever i'm tilting towards giving in/giving in to it, my conscience doesn't let me be. It feels like i'm literally suffocating, then i want to cry and then i just get really frustrated and upset. On the one hand, i'm happy with this, because it means that i'm not indifferent to it, that there is a struggle somewhere to move towards the light...but it's hard. Thats all i can say, especially when every moment my buttons are pushed. It's my cross to carry until i learn to control it..next post i will put up the bible verses that i read to talk sense into myself...James...dear James is a good place to start concerning this tongue of mine...

I am thankful that this week is almost over! went by right quick, and God had me floating by on His Grace all through. It's not my doing lai lai...feel beyond blessed!

Have a great rest of week...and i'll be back soonish!

Thankful Thursday: and they keep coming!

Yup..drowning in blessing just might be one of the ways in which i'm willing to die...another one being the whole "taken up to heaven" joint :P...

For serious now though, theres an amazing thing that happens when you're on the Path God intended for you...or at least directing yourself towards that path. It's like you and Him are in sync..i dunno who ever danced with someone, but being in sync is a POWERFUL feeling, when you feel the other person is an extension of you and every movement fills you with a joy that is difficult to describe, joy because it feels so right.

Thats the sort of Joy you be trippin on when you're in sync with God. Again, i will underline the at least trying part, because God, in His boundless wisdom and love, will totally go 99.9% of the way and help you do things you didn't even bother to fantasize you could, as long as you, with a clean heart and noble intentions, start on your own 1%...

So everyday is an explosion of Joy for me. God teaches you to see all the treasures that you've been blind to, everyday is like an experience on acid, sans the acid :P: the colours are twice as vibrant, everybody just oozes love and you want to be their best friend. You totally start learning that theres no need to get mad at mundane things and this and that and then it hits you, that living His way totally rocks, because it makes YOUR life so much better...Like i read in one of my books the other day about Freedom. When you act according to the rules, the freedom you get in return overwhelms you..when you strain against them however...you have that fish on ice effect. Freedom doesn't mean anarchy!!!

All that lovely stuff being said, i will try and put down what i am thankful for :D emphasis on put down, because the feelings are the sort that need to be felt...:P

I am thankful that God never EVER gives up on me and is Faithful, was faithful, and will forever be faithful. It's more than i deserve..

I am thankful that God cares about me, like really cares..You know you care about someone when you sit and think about how to put a smile on their face, because you want to do everything in your power to make them happy...Thats what God does for me...I am forever feeling cared about...check this..GOD..like, He who created all that is, cares enough to sort me through the trivialities of my life....that rawks!

I am thankful for my family!!! Biological and acquired :P all over everywhere

I am thankful for God's word...because it totally guides you and calms you gets you through everything!

I am thankful for..kai, i no dey crase o, but i am thankful for that inner voice thing...It has pushed me in the right direction so many times...

I am thankful that one step at a time, i am finding Him again. I can't believe i walked away when it was so good...thunda faya stupidity sha :(

I am thankful that He teaches and prompts me to be a better person.

I am thankful for this internet thing o! True.. Friendships have been started and salvaged, tears have been wiped away and things have been learned..good stuff!

I am...thankful for school..lack of activity is bad for me o!

I am thankful for the cool way in which the things i need "coincidentally" appear...Hand of God? :D i think yes!

I am thankful for my Boo!!!!...which is a whole different post...but...i hope i don't blow it by doin sumfin stoopid :(

I am thankful for my friends...i have some truly AWESOME friends..that's all i can say. They are a blessing, and i would not have held it together so many times if not for them, their support, love and shoulders that they've given me to cry on, the laughs that they bring into my life on the daily...omo i am thankful!

I am thankful...that God gets me to, even at my worst, be the way that brings me favour in this life o! anyhow, e must better for me!

I am thankful for lessons in faith...whatchu know about surprise tests from 5 lectures ago that nobody studied for?...and then He tells me to just chill, to just trust Him and not freak out, and see what will happen...i laughed for 30 minutes...and then we got permission for awuf....copy city!

I am thankful that through His laws, i learn to be a better person a little at a time.

I am thankful that He makes life so much happier.

I am thankful for His truth.

I am thankful!

Radiate love!

His Faithfulness

2 Timothy 2:13

If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself...

Quite often, we give in proportion to what we get. We react off of peoples actions towards us. If someone hurts us, we want to give them that hurt back in equal, or higher measure. If we feel that someone is closing the tap on the love they have for us, we adjust ours towards them. If they completely shut us out, the idea is that we try to do the same. God, however, is not playing that game. He loves you, and thats it. He's not gonna start hating on you and punishing you to "do you back". Personally, i believe in the idea of God punishing less and less each day. The thought of a God that is out to revenge is ridiculous. If ever it feels like God is indeed punishing you, then you need to take a step back and see that it's not punishment, but simply a nudge to get you where you need to be. It's never done with bad intentions.

God's love..is unconditional. It is literally not based on a "I shall love you if you pray every morning" principle.Love is loving someone, not when they are being good and nice, but despite them being absolute horror shows. God shows me this love everyday. He is unchanging, and He will not compromise that because i choose to act out. He loves me. He does not begin to hate me because i may have strayed. He keeps His end of the bargain. That is a principle. He sticks by it. That is love. The sort of love that humbles you and blows you away. I am thankful for it.

He is faithful. His faithfulness is not dependent on mine. He doesn't do that whole do me i do you ish. His faithfulness towards us is a thing that is not subject to change and that is humbling on every level.

Have a blessed week!

Thankful Thursday : Back with a Bang!

Been a while. Might be a little rusty :P

Will start with today...

I am thankful that i got woken up by my boo's phonecall, and not a bullet or a bomb.

I am thankful that i have said boo in my life.

I am thankful that God is consistent regardless of my antics. He loves me, and won't compromise His word because i am acting foolish. He doesn't "do" the do me i do you ish..

I am thankful that i get to meet the sweetest people on a daily basis

I am thankful for my friends, who bring so much laughter into my life.

I am thankful that we had two weeks' break!!!!

I am thankful that God steers be back to where i need to be.

I am thankful for my sisters, and how they are such intelligent young women.

I am thankful for inspiration.

I am thankful for lessons in patience.

I am thankful for people who care.

I am thankful for people who believe enough to make a change.

I am thankful for people who will risk it all for a purpose.

I am thankful for role models.

I am thankful for Stormie Omartian, because "The power of a praying teen" speaks to my soul every time.

I am thankful that there are always little "presents" for me at the bookstore :D

I am thankful that i get the chance to sit here and share how thankful i am.

I am thankful that i'm surrounded by people who love me and wish me well.

I am thankful that i have friends who will beat pesin for me :P

I am thankful that i know what it feels like to be loved without condition. To be loved not based on how much i love in return...it's humbling.

I am Thankful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Commandments and keeping them

Thinking that you are doing God a favour by keeping His commandments is a big foolishness on your part.

You see, whether you keep them or not, God will keep on being God. He will not shrink or catch fever.

The commandments are for you.

Have you ever told a child not to stick their finger in the flame of a candle? ever told a child not to run across a busy road? not to stick a needle in their eye? ever told them that nothing good comes out of sticking their tongue in a socket?

Yup. We all do it. Not because it does anything for us personally. Wetin konsain me if you roast your hand commot? It is not going to hurt me in any way. It's not my hand. My own will remain intact and functional.

But we love this kid, and we don't want them to go through that pain. We don't want them to take the long road to understanding why this or that shouldn't be done, because experience is a very unforgiving teacher. We tend not to want the people we love to have to go through things that we can offer solutions to in the first place.

We are God's children, and He loves us. He doesn't want to see us stumbling about blindly in the dark for years on end and making the same foolish mistakes over and over again because we cannot see the end result as clearly as He can.

So He gave us commandments. Ones that if followed, will keep us well away from a lot of unnecessary troubles, and allow us to focus on more productive things.

He's telling you not to stick your hand in the fire. It's hot, and it will burn you. He knows, and He wants you to please, please don't stick your silly hand in the fire.

So...keep the commandments with wisdom in your mind, knowing that you are not fulfilling some sort of joy-sucking sacrifice for God. It's for you, and you alone. Once you begin to see that, it will all make sense, and easier to follow.

P.s In my last post, i forgot to mention that i get prayer prompts..i don't know if anyone else does, but i sometimes get nudges to pray a certain prayer..like, pray now! quick, now is the right time for this particular prayer...it's an amazing phenomenon, because within 24 hours it gets answered....

Be good yallz!

When i Pray...

When i pray, things happen. When i pray, mountains move..okay, so maybe i haven't moved an actual, physical mountain, but i'm sure if the need arose...

It's the one thing that always remains staring me in the face whenever i start having foolish doubts creeping up. I pray. Those prayers are answered. Immediately. I get *dropjaw* moments, double takes, i go...huh? did that just..happen? It is impossible to think anything other than..There is a God, and He is not indifferent about me.

Last night, i was thinking about how awesome it was that i prayed this innocent prayer, and the day after, it got answered. I wasn't even expecting it or anything. It was one of those, "God just keep this in mind ayy? i'd like this, but You don't have to rush it, or anything", type prayers.

And then i got thinking, and reflecting on all the major prayers i've prayed, and...they damn near all got answered. And the ones that didn't? i now see that it would be foolishness for them to have been answered. So either way? I end up on top :D

Prayer is...like i've said many times on this blog, possibly the best thing ever. I don't know how it is for anyone else, but God and I? we have a thing. We just do, i don't know how else to explain it. It's in the little things that happen to me everyday, it's in missing the overstuffed bus, and getting to ride the empty one to school, it's in a stranger being nice, it's in an unexpected compliment, it's in finding the exact page that you need for an assignment. It's in these things that i know beyond a doubt that He's looking out for me.

Lately, i will have to admit, and as it probably shows from the date of my last post, i have been drifting somewhere in the middle. This doesn't mean that i'm completely off...it just means that it hasn't been that much of a front line thing as it was at some point. I feel bad about this, i do, and i'm working on changing that...but the point is, all this while, that prayer thing be saving me.

There is such comfort in saying a prayer, be it a quick one, or a long one, an emotional one, or one said while running from class to class, it is sooo reassuring to know that someone way more competent is dealing with your wahalas. Cast your burdens people. So many times i'm stressed out and struggling with something, getting increasingly frustrated, when this part of me goes...Have you prayed about this? and i think...wait, why haven't i? it would take only a second of my life to place this in God's hands, and yet i'm here trying to do it all by myself. And then i pray, and everything works itself out. No lie, no exaggeration.

I have this friend whom i always tell that i am ultrablessed. It's true. My life is enchanted. Everyday is magical, and i know i only have God to thank.

Pray people, pray. You'll be blown away.

Be good.

Thankful Thursday: For things Underappreciated

We take a whole lot of things for granted, you know? It might be cliche, but we get so used to waking up every morning that we stop being thankful for it, and even venture to groan at the necessity of it, waking up on a cold winter morning tests you, no lie.

Thats just one example thought. For three weeks i sat tight and was more nervous than i've ever been in my life. I negotiated with God, promises were made, i cursed myself for all the times i complained about what i now did not seem to have. I had horror filled visions of my future, cursed myself for being so stupid, was stunned at how this had become me. I was on the path to becoming the person i had always feared to be.

Three weeks. THREE WEEKS! and not to mention all the "hints" that crossed my path each day. Films, books, talk..babies everywhere.arghhh..God is wise, that is the conclusion i have come to again. He scared the living sin out of me meyn.

I am thankful for His not so subtle reminder, i am thankful for HIm puttig things back in perspective for me and making me see how easy it is to ruin everything...in the blink of an eye, I am thankful that He has given me a second chance without allowing me make even bigger mistakes. I am thankful that decisions i am not ready to make were not placed before me. I am thankful.

And even though i thought the day will never come, i am thankful for Miss Ruby. I even got a bottle of white wine to celebrate...like i promised myself.

I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful for my friends.

I am thankful for holidays and the fact that i am having a wonderful time back home.

I am thankful for all the lovely people i meet each day.

I am thankful for GOD. as one quote said...Even if God did not exist, it would be necessary that we create Him. I need God.

I am thankful that God put me in a position where i can see for myself what happens when i sideline Him. All the gbese i would have been in would have been as a result of the simple fact that i shut my ears and eyes and heart from Him. I blocked Him out...i thought it was "freedom"..yea right..the type that lands you in hot bondage at the end of it...abeg o!

I am thankful that all my senses are in working order, i am thankful that i am berry berry healthy :P

I am thankfullllllllllllllllllll!

Heaven couldn't wait...apparently

In a way, i am thankful that i didn't do a thankful post yesterday, because today, it would have felt like blasphemy.

Not saying that there was nothing to be thankful for...but all that is just dimmed by the fact that Michael Jackson is dead.

I cannot process that. Michael Jackson and dead in the same sentence is surreal. I'm reading words and i'm hearing sounds, but i'm in a trance.

So...i will be thankful for his life...HE ROCKED! and i will be thankful for the fact that he will live on through is music forever.

But for now? i am in mourning.

He's in a better place, and i am selfish, but i'm only human.

Thankful Thursday: Great Expectations, bells and whistles.

I believe that this Thankful Thursday Thing (LOL at my alliterations...reminds me of an SCL post...fun stuff) has evolved to hold a message as well as my thankfulness...

The bells and whistles thing. I believe that God is simple. God is so uncomplicated that we as humans refuse to accept Him that way. Like, when you see this really easy question on your exam sheet...and you're like naaaah, it must be a joke, or wait..maybe it's super duper complicated..and then you go ahead and give the most complicated answer you know, and promptly fail. Just the other day i read something about Christians and the Bible...i wish i saved that quote..wait, hold on..lemme find it..in summary though, it says that the Bible isn't complicated at all...it's just that "Christians" choose to make it out to be so because they fear that the moment they accept that they understand it as-is,they will have no choice but to conform to it. I can understand how that is a scary thought. If, however, you do not admit to entirely understanding it, that is a huge fertile field (alliterations!) of loopholes to exploit... What will the Law proffesion be without loopholes?

"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church’s prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes, it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament."

Yes, i even shrunk it in an attempt to fool you minions into thinking that it is a nice short quote :P


Human beings seem to crave ceremony and great mystery before they accept that a thing is credible. If it doesn't shoot fireworks and arrive in a cloud, it must be substandard.

This, however, creates problems for those of us who realize that maybe, just maybe, it isn't as hush hush and secret society as "they" make it out to be. Once i read a book about how to angle your church floors and dim the lights just so, so that people will be in "the mood". It just can't work without the bells and whistles eh?

I do not need to be told about seas being parted, and bones being made human again. I believe God is Awesome. He proves this to me with every breath i take. It is the way it is, i do not need a fairytale woven around it to make me awestruck. Reality itself is magical, it's beautiful. I do not need all these "extras".

Too often we make God out to be Human. We ascribe our human characteristics to Him. We make God out to be petty and egotistical. God is not human, He is above the emotions and characters we exhibit. This, however, is difficult for us to grasp, because we cannot compare something to another thing that we know NOTHING about, so we drag it down to our level and break it into bits of our reality. Just like when people were convinced the earth was flat. They could not conceive the concept of it being otherwise.Like explaining the colour red to someone who has only ever seen blue. My best bet is that they would conclude it's some shade of blue... This is how we know God. As one other quote said, to paraphrase, we see God as some sort of Cosmic Grandfather.

Grandfather. Human.

Why should God be man or woman or black or white or yellow? God is God. But that sort of God is abstract, so we make Him into a handy Cosmic Grandfather ( i love this expression btw!), one with Whom we can relate.

This other joke goes; Do not argue with an idiot, because they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

The beat you with experience part is irrelevant, but the down to their level part seems to be exactly what we've done with God. We've made Him a super human. He is great and all, but He's just this Mighty Human. That upsets me sometimes. Sure, it's easier to relate to and all that, but we then begin subconsciously giving Him these oh-so-human add-ons, ones that we understand.

Human beings are the ones who love feeling "big" and having their egos stroked, and yet even among humans, those who are truly "big" somehow rise above the banality that is demanding for their ego to be stroked.

So yes, it's still about religion, and even the Bible in this. They are so full of grandeur, and stories designed to make your jaw drop and all these overly awesome things. What the writers/spreaders didn't seem to see, imo, is that there is/was absolutely no need for all the frills. If they had looked around, they would have seen that the truth of what is is more fantabulostical than any sort of tale they come up with.

They've gone and left us with a dilemma now. You don't seem to be allowed to appreciate both versions. It's Tales Vs Reality, and you are on top of everything threatened with a lifelong BBQ, you featuring as the main meat, if you refuse to believe the Tales version. It sucks.

God is simple, uncomplicated, and wise beyond human understanding. All out wiseness and insight must be the most hilarious thing God watches.

Understand if you understand.

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for the way He looks out for me

I am thankful for the little packets of joy He places in my path. He has designed the funnest obstacle course for me.

I am thankful for emotions. Happy and Sad, tears and laughter, love and heartache. Life would be so vanilla without them!

I am thankful for wisdom...i don't claim it, but i am thankful that i have access to the works of those who are blessed by it.

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for my friends

I am thankful that the things i call problems are really so insignificant in the big picture

I am thankful for His reminders

I am thankful that He has taught me to be thankful instead of giving in to despair

I am thankful that i went to church last Sunday! Honestly, the service was jokes, the message was...*crickets* why is this man even talking? BUT! you could feel the goodness radiating...so that was nice..and i met the nicest Swedish Missionary lady..she was hot life fire, btw :P..just added that because Missionary conjures up the strangest images of unattractiveness for me :P

be good ya'll...and find the awesomeness in the simplest of truths!!! God's magnificence is not in a magic trick. Know this.

Oh dear...

I missed a Thankful Thursady post...and i did not notice until just now. Does this mean something? In my defence though, i was busy all day. I trekked like i have never trekked before, and it's a wonder i didn't drop dead on the street. Okay, so maybe i exaggerate a little. I did have a VERY tiring day, and the fact that it was Thursday did not cross my mind. Once.

And i was a bundle of nerves...yesterday AND today. Perhaps it's PMS? i want to cry and scream and punch people.

I guess i'm thankful that i'm alive, and that i have family, and that i have a roof over my head and can afford school and food and fun and going home when i need it. Some people don't have that.

I am also incredibly thankful for the weather this night/morning...yay rain!

and i'm reading SCL, and it's kinda cheering me up and making me feel "in the spirit" which is a way i haven't felt in a while...and then i click this link and end up at this other site and then there's the evolution/creation-in-a-heartbeat arguement, and then it reminds me of all the issues i have :(..one really good argument i saw was this (i never actually considered it!) the guy was like, how come "christians" will go on arguing about if the earth is millions of years old, or 6000 years old, and yet nobody seems to question how light was created before the sun.

My stance on creation/evolution? They are both correct. People should learn to stop this either/or nonsense. God created the earth and all that is in it, yes. Is God a God of no logic and order? NO. Patterns, processes...this is the evolution that science describes. Even if there wa big bang, God caused it so there. psh....i do not mean to infringe on anyones beliefs. If the version where God claps and it appears appeals to you, by all means, stick to that belief; i am not seeking to convert anyone.

People need to come to the conclusion of what they believe by themselves, only then will it be genuine and real to them. Being force fed is a placebo. You think you're doing all right..but you really are not, just getting by on an illusion. I should know, been there, done that.

Anyways, thats that. I am thankful that i am breathing and blinking.

be good.

Thankful Thursday: Timestamps

Maybe it's tiredness, maybe it's guilt, maybe it's everything, maybe it's nothing...but yes, my relationship with God is now showing red. I am terrible. I am quite sure that He hasn't changed or nuttin'..it's me me me..and according to dogma, i am going to burn in hell, nevermind that my sins are "minor"...we all know that "minor" and "major" don't exist right?

Anywho...I am thankful that i am leaving and breathing

I am thankful that i still have amazing friends and family

I am thankful that my grandpa has jokes...he always says some ridiculous thing that has everyone laughing

I am thankful that one day at a time, my exams are coming to an end and...HOLIDAY TIME!!! woohoo

I am thankful that i was delivered from superficiality...better put, i was never afflicted with it...there are so many more inportant things in this world than being preoccupied with benefitless stupidity...grow a soul1 cultivate a conscience! KNOW SOMETHING...psh...lol..i'm under impression from a show i saw yesterday...the term "airhead" is apparently not derived from thin air...

I am thankful that my little sisters are not airheads :P

I am thankful for all my friends and brothers of friends and cousins of friends who lived to see their birthday today

I am thankful again for kindness from unexpected sources..my classmate called me like three times this morning to let me know when we had classes...he saved me unnecessary waka...now, he might have been doing this out of selfish interest but i choose to see it otherwise

I am thankful for Utorrent and all the wonderful old movies i've downloaded..memories!

I am thankful for the silver lining, i am thankful for realism...lol..i am not a fan of optimism :P

I am thankful for Philosophy...deep ish...fascinating ish...makes you think, makes you realize, makes you understand...

Thankful that despite the fact that i am finding it very hard to "get right"...a clean page awaits me the moment i commit....

Thankful that...i am breaking free of the bonds of Dogma and am more or less becoming okay with my theories on God...God is not a meanie who will smite the living daylights out of you for saying "fcuk" (:P had to misspell), God is not a wuss who is crying and begging and being helpless at the doors of your heart. If your neighour behaved in any of the aformentioned ways, you'd steer clear of him/her. God is not petty..although that has been so engraved in my mind it's hard to move past it..God is God, and surely He is capable of having the understanding that we require as the norm from our fellow man...just saying...because sometimes, guilt will wreck you...guilt over what is really nothing at all even...bleh

Thankful of my Lappppppptop! i love it..it is trusty, it is kind to me, and it is my larlin :P

Thankful for summer

Thankful for rain

Thankful for sweet sweet sleep

Thankful that i have some freaky memorising skills....which i need to put to good use like NOW...instead of typing this :P..have a literature exam tomorrow..I have to recite a poem from memory..in Ukrainian

be good people!

Thankful Thursday : There is always something to be thankful for

No matter how desolate your situation is, there is always something to be thankful for in it. No matter how hopeless, look at the origin and possible futures of that situation, and you will see the many ways in which it is not such a bad thing afterall. Look for the silver lining, if you don't see it, look for the bronze one, look for the tin one, but by all means look for the bright side...LOL...and to think i am recreationally pessimistic...

This is the earliest i'm ever typing a Thankful post...no school, home alone, actually remembered it's Thursday! Daddys Birthday!!!

I am thankful for my father, for his life, for his sucesses, for the love he has for us...ahem, we have had our moments, but you know...lol i am thankful that he is alive to be able to celebrate another birthday in his life!

I am thankful for today!!!

I am thankful for the immense beauty found in simple things...the other day, i was home alone with my grandma, studying for my exam, and i was struck by how beautiful the silence was...no, really..enchanting lol, and the way the sunlight made ordinary scenes look so picturesque! the beauty in nature, in trees and in birds and that overcute way in which cats and doggies will sometimes behave..you can't buy that!

I am thankful for love from unexpected sources...pet owners will understand me..my doggie shows the kind of love that i have not come across in any human being...his forgiveness knows no bounds, his eyes will melt your heart into one great puddle, and his cute antics will have you smiling for years....

I am thankful that life is a symphony, and everything is perfectly timed by Him. Trust me. Nothing is out of rhythm...ahem, but that raises a whole new field of questions..i will leave that for now :P

I am thankful for lazy days...when the wind barely rustles the leaves, when everything is oh so quiet, when the sun just warms everything, and you're just chillin...ah-mah-zing!

I am thankful for bloggerz! more specifically today, i am feeling rather thankful for Aloted..dunno y :P

I am thankful for all those free download engines...limewire...utorrent...they mean so much to me *has tearful moment*....free thing naim go kill pesin!

I am thankful for music. More specifically, i am thankful for Kansas, White Snake and Depeche mode, because they made me happy all yesterday!

I am thankful for my grandparents...who are the sweetest nicest people in the whole wide world!

I am thankful that my exam yesterday went okay....

Truth be told, i am struggling..i pray less, i read my devotionals and my bible like i'm punching a time card, as per, i marked that i was there and did it...but that is very wrong. Hope i get out of this rut soon....I am thankful, however, that i got "in the spirit" at a very crucial time, when that was the thing i needed most...i am thankful for that...

Be good now!

Thankful Thursday: Above all, i believe...

I didn't realize today was thursday until i saw Aloted's comment in my inbox. I know. Terrible...You can't blame me too much though, i wasn't even sure what day it was...i had no weeked so my perception of time is all messed up :P...So good with the excuses eh?

The title...I have and am still struggling a whole lot with the concept of "christianity". I have beef with that one in paticular because it's the one know. I have investigated and had long discussions with my conscience, gone over all the scoin scoins it has for me and a whole lot of that... I have a lot of questions that are not answered, and i have a lot of things that don't sit well with me at all...But above all of that, totally aside and beyond those questions, is the fact that i DO believe in God. No matter the paths i investigate, i always come back to realizing that nothing will shake my faith in God. Not lies, not earnest legends, not fantasies, or "logical" arguements will convince me that there is no God. There is, and i believe in Him...i just have a lot to learn, thats all...and that i will do, one way or another...and i am thankful for that

I am thankful for my friend, Shar, and the timid steps she's "taking" to let go of the abusiveness she calls her relationship with her ex. Like all addicts...i don't believe her...i will not give her the luxury of believing her until i am completely convinced...but i am thankful that she is at least trying...even if only on the surface...

I am thankful that i am able to be there for her, that i am able to have words to tell her that lift up her spirits, that encourage her, that make her see a light of sorts. I am thankful for all the times i am able to hug her and talk some sense into her...and she listens...i am thankful for every word, every statement that takes root in her life and lifts her up...even if i may never know what did it...i am thankful that i can help in my own way...

I am thankful for all those nice women in my school who are forever flattering me...a little warmth goes a very long way!

I am thankful for my grandma, who somehow puts up with my hormone-induced drama queen-ness...i look back and think i acted HOW? it's shameful...but she doesn't ever get propa vex at me..and she forever encourages me..and feeds me!!!

I am thankful for my grandpa, and how he always has jokes and is the smartest guy i know...

I am thankful for the lie my teacher blew today to well...people that kinda "discriminated" against me..i'm okay with it, really...i'm chubby, okay, i'm okay with that, lol...and my dean sent me to some lady organizing a cultural fashion show thing..now, i had no idea what it was about, and the woman be talking about, they don't have the clothes yet, and so they don't know the sizes, and well, you know how they sew these days, economizing and all...LMAO...poor lady...she was looking for a delicate way to tell me i'm heavy...but then my teacher was like, okay, if you need her...then sumn sumn, i'm sure you won't have any problems, she speaks four languages..in a very HA! brains win over your superficiality way...i speak three...

I am thankful for the fact that i am able not to give in to "peer" pressure...i don't think i have ever had that as a problem..maybe i'm a tad selfish to give a hoot about living to satisfy someones standards...but most of all..i think it's because i have a very rational head on my shoulders, and i'm always the mature voice of logic and reason...and i am thankful for that!!!

I am thankful that i am oh so fine :P...yes, superficial..but that red lipstick today had me feelin fierce!

I am thankful that even though i am hopeless at solving most of my own emotional problems, i always seem to be able to come up with very sound advice for my friends in need...

I am thankful that deep down...i am okay with me...even if i indulge in minor complaints

I am thankful that..okay, this one is controversial...but i am thankful that i am able to put up a solid wall between me and all those silly infatuation kinds of things. Two words : SO WRONG...anything that makes me go silly and not in control is not a good thing..on the downside...for me to "fall in love" would be a task...

I am thankful that i am stronger than i was a month before, that i am able to say no to many things, that i am able to look at things more critically and not compromise where compromise is not needed...

I am thankful for my friends...that i know i can shamelessly lean on for emotional support...they are like springs of happiness!

I am thankful for emotions...because they make things so fun! crying..laughing...liking

I am thankful for my history test today!!! i sounded like a bumbling fool and the man gave me an "excellent" grade...this is not unfair, btw..i do deserve that grade..i know everything he has ever said, i do! i do! just that explaining the history of Ukraine in Ukrainian...well, not every Ukrainian can do it so...ha!

I am thankful that i live at HOME with my grandparents and not in a hostel...as fun as it sounds at first...it's not worth it..home wins everytime, for so many reasons it would be an insult to even mention..

I am thankful for sleep...so simple, so uncomplicated, so utterly free...and yet so wonderful...mmm

I'm sleepy :P have a test tomorrow..language..

I am thankful for written words

I am thankful for spoken words

I am thankful for words read

I am thankful for words heard

I am thankful for His word
I am thankful for words!!! communication is a beautiful thing

be good now...

Thankful Thursday: I have homework!

I had to work in the letter "I" somehow...Aunty Aloted gave me homework!

So i spent today trying to come up with I-words that i am thankful for..i even opened my dictionary...I came up with some stuff..some "serious" and some silly...but who says silliness is a thing that we shouldn't be thankful for? I personally believe it's the spice in life :P!

I am thankful for

Intuition...you know...that gut feeling that gets you out of a BAD situation, something that would just be WRONG if you went ahead with it...Intuition damn near burned a hole in my stomach when i was writing the entrance exam to this ultrapretentious don't-need-to-go-there-at-all secondary school....Thank God for delivering me from that nightmare!

Intellect....Intelligence...i am so thankful that it exists in this world...it reduces the probability of being forced into having a *headdesk* moment somewhat. There is something beautiful about talking with an intelligent person, reading something brimming with intelligence...i am thankful that we are able to have and develop that intellect...yay for intelligence!

Individuality...i would not be a happy person if everyone was just like me...eeeew no! people are so beautiful! and this is so because they are individuals, they are their own person with their quirks and ups and downs and that makes them special, and they all add so much to each persons life..so yay for individuality!

Intervention....i am thankful for all the times God has clearly intervened in my life. You know, like when He sees that you're too stupid/naive/blockheaded to see all the signs He has sent your way, so He just fishes you out of the dilema directly...like when you're teaching a child to walk...sure, the kid falls and wobbles a bit, but that's okay...you just watch him from a distance, arms folded, a word of encouragement here and there....but then you see the child heading towards the road and all your yelling isn't working....then you just run like your derriere is on fire and scoop that child up...lol..i know...a bit stretched and dramatic, but you get my point...so i am thankful for all the times God has intervened and prevented my own stupidity from taking me away from Him...

Okay, so this is kinda difficult....maybe it's the fact that i have to come up with these words thats making my mind jam....I...think I....think!!!

Indomie...lol, you can count this or not, but i seriously am thankful for it...indomie has provided a standard of noodles no noodle can match...bliss...God must really love us to have inspired someone to make them...yummm!

Speaking of which..

Inspiration...i am thankful for inspiration...(and who was tryna mock the indomie bit ehn? see how it inspired me?)...Inspiration is a beautiful thing, when you get it, you are floating on cloud nine..and the fact of inspiration, is that it is God given. It is not something you study how to get, it is not something you earn or learn or will yourself into having. It's a gift from God meyn..Like, when you're up against a brick wall , and then all of a sudden, it's all clear, it all makes sense..i am thanful for those moments....and then....

Insight....i am thankful for all those "OH!!! I GET IT!!!!!" moments i've had, and will keep on having...I am thankful for all those times when something that you've come across everyday suddenly makes a whole lot of sense in a whole new way..it's a beautiful thing, and it brings us closer to Him...you just have to seek it.....

Thats it for the I's...i think i even mentioned more than the minimum 5 :P ^_^..yes, i am actually too layzee to go up and count...not my fault!!! hehe..i had a long day and i'm tired out of my mind and it's past my bedtime :(....

and some on the side info...

First of all..God has a sense of humour, and He keeps amazing me with the way He cares...So i was stuck in a rut yesterday right, kinda depressed, because of some kinds of silly ish...

And then today turns out to be the complete opposite of whatever i could have imagined it to be...It was beautiful, it managed to have all those things that i always wanted, and even better...it drizzled, the sun came out, we walked in the park, there was ahmahzing greenery all around, he was funny, he was smart, and it was very pleasant....

Just when you think it's all over and give up hope...God starts with the jokes....because He is WONDERFUL like that....and then there is that sen of humour...can't beat it!

Feel free to add any words beginning in I that i missed out...especially the glaringly obvious that i just cannot seem to see!

Thanks for the Homework, Aloted!

Thankful Thursday: fourth time around...

Good news is that i'm hanging on...

I'm thankful for the fact that He takes care of me, day in, day out.

I am thankful for the fact that He uses every situation to bring me closer to Him.

I'm thankful that every wall i come up against is only but a stepping stone.

I am thankful that God has always, always, all through my life, cleared a path for me. I have never had struggle, or suffer, or go through ish, God always provides a light at the end of my tunnel.

I am thankful that He will use even unconventional means to get through to me.

I am thankful that He answered my questions, no matter how non-kosher they were, and completely eliminated all those silly doubts and divergences. Nullified, gone, cuz He is awesome like that :D

I am thankful that my sisters are growing up to to be sooooooo smart. They read so much, and not just read, they read, analyze, and understand all the complex classic literature...and ENJOY it! and they are such good people...i am soo proud of them, and so thankful.

I am thankful that God always removes the illusions of fear that threaten to tip me over the egde...because that is what they are: illusions, distractions.

I am thankful that He is there for me to run to.

I am thankful that He is my comforter, come rain or shine.

I am thankful that no sin is strong enough to make Him throw His hands up and deem me incorrigible.

I am thankful for my amazing grandparents, and that i have this opportunity to be with them.

I am thankful for all the times God has taken me and steered me off of the path that i do not need to be on.at all. even though my silly mind was thinking that that path was right.

I am thankful that He has taught me to see the rainbow at the end of every storm, the lining to every cloud, be it silver, bronze or aluminum foil...

I am thankful that He is not letting me give up.

I am thankful that He gives me insight and understanding.

As tooting your own horn-ish as this sounds, i am thankful that i am not a complete ignoramus idiot person :P

I am thankful for the wonderful rain today and that really beautiful thing that was going on when the sun came out..priceless!

I am thankful for the huge Park near my house and all the trees and the wonderful walks i get to take there with my Grandma..

I am thankful that MY MOTHER is MY MOTHER!! and nobody else, because that woman is a blessing beyond all blessings. God has to love me a whole lot to have given her to me.

I am thankful that i don't have yawa, and He keeps my feet far off the path where yawa dey :P

I am thankful that everyday is a learning process

I am thankful for my best friend...which in turn leads me to be thankful that i went to the secondary school i did and thus met him, because...WOW...my best friend is God Sent. Our friendship was planned out in Heaven. I love that boy die, and i am overblessed to have him in my life!

I am thankful for love! lol..no..i don't have that kind of love right now, but it's okay...

I am thankful for all my friends them..i have a very gread bunch!

I am thankful for music

I am thankful for all the warm hearted people at my uni...they make everyday that extra bit pleasant...no lie!

I am thankful that i am able to be thankful. That i have this relationship with God at all, no matter how rocky it is from my side...it is a great blessing to be able to take it all to Him.

Something i realized while praying yesterday, is that i've gotten so used to building up a fence and forbidding being vulnerable, that i was/am doing that with God to a certain degree. I got into the habit of..well...excluding "emotions" where it concerns God. As per, not trying to indulge in all those "catching the holy spirit" moments. I still refuse to base my relationship with God on sensations, but i have also realized that God is the One (er...person? Force?) i can afford to let my guard down with, to cry, to scream, to speak to , to be less than perfect with, to be immature with, because He doesn't expect perfection from me anyways...Like, i'm so used to being all mature and grown up and responsible, that people around me expect that from me, and sometimes, it's overwhelming, but i have to keep that up, because it has become who i am. But in those moments when i feel powerless and just want to curl up and cry, God is the only one i can turn to...so basically, i have to stop this nonsense with being "proper" when talking to God, i have to stop that rubbish of being "mature" and not laying out my problems as they are because it's a bit "childish" or some other tag. Not saying it is not going to change the fact that that problem exists, all not saying it is going to achieve is make that problem never have a chance to go away...

So think about that...are you vulnerable with God? or are you too busy trying to be proper? drop the act, because that what it is...be YOU when you talk to God..He knows anyways....it's not a job interview where you make like you're this proper machine....Loosen up, and be Vulnerable!

Thankful Thursday: Third times a charm...

I almost forgot today was Thursday. That is a result of several factors, including tiredness, and the fact that it's been a strange, irregular week..or so it seems..

However! i am not ruling out that i'm, well...in a different place than i was last week. I'm slippin, i'm sliding, i'm falling, i'm questioning. I've tried the "pretend it's all okay until you convince yourself it's okay route"..and it's not working. It just gets worse and worse and more depressing.

Fret not though, He is poining me in new directions, on a path to answers to the questions that plague me. I started writing... I got a notebook, and i write. I just write. Everything. No political correctness or ceremony or protocol. I have a question or a doubt? i write. I ask. I complain. I cry, i am sarcastic, i am brutally honest, i cut the bullshit. And i will write until i get answers.

In its own way, it's working for me. The more i write, the more answers i get, the more i'm comforted in some ways...and unsettled in some. It may be unconventional, but it's what's working for me now. I am really upset about the fact that i'm not zealous as i was a week ago. That upsets me. But the fact is i DO believe in God. It's other things that need ironing out...

There is so much contradiction, so many Why's, it drives me crazy. It has made me wish i was very brainwashable, so i can just skip this and accept every single thing i hear and read, no matter how glaringly dubious it looks. I mean, really? in the same place, i see black and white. But we only listen to white, because black no longer suits the way we think it ought to be, so you know, just ignore it...

Whatever, i did not plan to make this into a theology post. It is a personal thing that i need to sort out.

However, i am Thankful for:

Life

Family

Love

The fact that even through all this confusion, He still somehow finds an alternative path for me.

I am thankful for the fact that i still really am blessed

I am thankful that i can cry my pain away (no really!it's so convinient, what a good cry can do)

I am thankful that i can write my confusion away

I am thankful that i can reason

The guilt is killing me by the way, and i don't even know if i ought to be feeling this way. I wish there was a clear directive, and not so many interpretations and conditions for things to be a certain way.

This post seems shorter than the others. That does not mean i am less thankful...

I am thankful for Protection. I haven't had any run-ins with any funny skinhead characters, for instance

I am thankful for the kindness and positive vibes i am constantly surrounded with

I am thankful for the little anger management that i've been practicing...lol...really, some people seem to go out of their way to tick me off!

I am thankful for rainfall

I am thankful for humour!

I am thankful for nature

I am thankful for Christians (and Jews and Muslims and Hindus and Buddhists too...i cannot fathom that God discriminates..i cannot wrap my head around that sort of pettiness)..but i mentioned Christians specifically because of the really nice blogs i've been reading recently..very encouraging...ahem, except this one crazy fellow...I pray for him now.

I am thankful for forgiveness and new beginnings...i can never mention this too much. In fact, mentioning this is mandatory!

I am thankful in advance, that at some point in the (near) future, i will see the light at the end of the tunnel and "i'll run into His arms and the tears will come down and i'll pray: i want to fall in love with You" (LOL..Jars of Clay, Love song for a Saviour, slightly modified), because, right about now, i fluctuate between mumbling Seal's "I have lost my Faith" and begging for forgiveness for saying it. Note though, Lost my Faith in...Religion(hey, i'm just being really honest here). My faith in God is unshakable. It takes a special kind of arrogant, ignorant and very much intellectually myopic person to declare that there is no God. Oh? yea? so like, you can exist, but theres no way God can. Mhhm, sure. Pinch yourself and look around, and think again if there is no God..Humph!

Lol..little post turned into big post. This might seem like soliciting, but please, somebody, anybody, pray for me. I heard that kind of prayer has more power :P and i need it bad! i need my faith back, i want to go back to when believing came easy and didn't make me think to myself..Dogma! Dogma!(once again, being honest)...

Maybe one day..one day i will let loose those writings here...but until then...be thankful!

Be good!

Thankful Thursday : second time around

It's Thursday again...week went by so fast!!

Long story Short, i am really thankful that:

I am still on this path. It's the longest i've stayed on without scoin scoin or giving in to my major weaknesses. I am so thankful, because i know enough to know that it is not my doing. I've been praying like!..oh which reminds me..

Once again i am thankful for prayer! I don't know any other thing that would have kept me sane this past week. I've been praying over everything and anything..and i haven't been let down...which moves us to the next point..

I am thankful for His comfort, reassurance and guidance..i had moments when i was in despair, i felt like all i was doing was a waste of time and God wasn't even bothering, or noticing the effort i was making...i dunno sha, but i really prayed bout it, and He kept me from doing something foolish like giving up and returning to the nonchalant way i lapsed into for some time...

I am thankful for answered prayers! I had a hell of a temper, used to get irritated real quick..prayed over that and i noticed that i just chant some gospel song, or analyze the situation and see the sillyness in getting angry over it, as opposed to just reacting negetively..cuz Lord knows my tongue is quick!.Anger and irritation are just bad mehn...bad for you most of all. all that negetive energy kills you!

I am thankful for positive emotions in place of negetive ones...i used to get soooo mad at my classmates for a host of (valid! :P) reasons..but i also see that i can choose what i concentrate on, and concentrating on the negetive isn't to anyones benefit, being irritated at them wasn't helping me at all...but then i gave them a chance..prayed everytime something they did annoyed me instead of cussin them out...and it led to...

I am thankful for bonding with my classmates...(i take style wan vex for them today o..cuz what they did is NOT cool...)..on Sunday, which was Orthodox easter here, i woke up to a text wishing me happy easter..From my Muslim classmate who i never really talked to much..but we gisted the day before though, because i chose to give him a chance and not be thinkin about all the millions of ways in which he rubs me the wrong way(he's the one i wanted to decapitate at some point, if you read my other blog)...The text message really touched me shaa

I am thankful for my family again...i am truly blessed to have them...

I am thankful for my littlest sister...her nickname of "Angel" is not a coincidence.

I am thanful for Forgiveness again..it makes the world go round!

I am thankful for the Praise and Worship station on Yahoo launchcast radio..

I am thankful for being Nigerian!!!!! :P

I am thankful for inspiration all around me..

I am thankful for life...

I am thankful for prayers unanswered...and this is not in any sort of cynical or patronizing way...those prayers being answered would have been punishment, and i am thankful to God for deciding to ignore my foolishness, instead of allowing me learn my lesson the hard way by making me go through the aftermath of the answer to the prayer...

I am thankful again, that i am still with this!

I am thankful for the time i told someone i have "history" with that i am born again...see, even now it's hard to type out..i don't know why i still find it hard to say it...it's like...i fear the expectation that comes with it, i'm scared that i may not live up to it...but then again i know that the biggest responsibility on my part is to make a choice, a decision, a step in the right direction, and God will show me through...i know this because...

I am thankful for all the things i've gone through in the past month that two months ago i was convinced i would never be able to do, and then God led me through, and now i look back and realize i was scared of harmless illusions...i broke up with someone who i thought i could never bring myself to end things with, i apologised to my friend whom i thought i would never speak to again...but the fact is..i did these things, and they are no longer issues..and i am thankful for that!!

Whats amazing at this point is that when i started typing, i didn't have anything planned out; i thought i'd come in and type out standard things people are thankful for..and then comes this...it's things like this that make me realize that the most important thing is starting something, and not sitting on your behind and thinking of all the things that stand in the way of success...just start, and God will see you through, but by all means commit yourself to the task!

Take care now!!! hugs!

Thankful Thursday : First take

I have managed to blow lie o! lol...but it's a true lie..see, it's my first take on it on blogger..i do have a Thankful Thursday episode in one notebook like that...:P ..theres something catchy about rhymes, no? like i "borrowed" my "Fasting Fridays" from one blogger...can't remember who...N.I.M.M.O maybe...

I Am Thankful:

For Life...i was given it, i still have it, and it's a blessed one!

For Love...i have so much love in my life i'm overwhelmed, and i am not exaggerating. Most of all is God's love for me..and then...

For Family...I was BLESSED to be born into my family..these kinds of things are not coincidence..i love my family

For friends...i have truly truly wonderful friends, who are completely ride or die..and i know enough to realize that maybe that isn't so common, and thus i am blessed to have them...

For laughter....what would i do without it?

For Salvation....i don't deserve it..not one bit..haven't earned, and never will be able to earn it...

For Prayer....which i firmly believe is the second most bestest thing after Salvation...Prayer is the best thing to exist!

*For Forgiveness....both from God and from man...forgiveness makes the world go round!

For health...and the fact that i am blessed enough not to have any funky "conditions"..or downright mean allergies....how can i be expected to stay away from chocolate, for instance?

For Kindness...i know i'm not alone when i say that a kind word has turned my day around..

For God's patiece with me....no explanation necessary!

For common sense

For beauty..chai, not only my own oooo! before pesin chop me :D..for the beauty in the world

For Sunshine and Rain and Wind and Snow

For Rita and Aloted and their support, and their inspired posts ..and JayCee too...who might have no idea the role models they are to me..

For music

For His Word

For His care

For His guidance

For Literature

For Literacy

For Emotions...that make us human, and add so much to life

For the little things

For Today.


I Am Thankful!

* Remember my friend i had that oh so dramatic beef with? i called her and apologised...a year too late..but apologised all the same..He told me to..He helped me to..i thought i couldn't do it, but apparently that fear was some jacked up illusion...and..wow..that's all i can say..because for so long i told myself i was okay with the way things were..but i know that was a lie..but now things are okay so yay! i have my friend back!!!! i missed her meynnnnnnn :P..oh, and she forgave me too...

Христос Воскрес!

The title translates as "Christ is Risen"..and you're supposed to reply "Войстинну Воскрес"...which translates as "truly, He is risen"...pronounciation wise, it would go- Khristos Voskres!- Voistinnu Voskres...

LOL thats it for the lesson in Russian...

But for real though..He truly is risen and alive in all who accept Him and believe. His love is limitless and undescribable, He gave up His life so that we may live. If that ain't love then i don't know what love is!!!

Recently, i came to the decision to honour His sacrifice...as per, consciously...everytime i blatantly went against His word, i disrespected His sacrifice, i took it for granted...and i am not going to do that anymore as far as is within my power.

Have a very blessed Easter, and don't forget the significance of it, That He loved you so much He died for you so your sins may be forgiven...and none of it is because you somehow earned it..It's pure grace....

Happy Easter!!!...Christ is Risen and alive in all those who believe..

i'm so awestruck, baby would you blow my heart up!!

lol...the title is a play on Lady GaGa's "starstruck"...i really am awestruck though, because it's like magic, the way God works. It's unbelievable, you feel it and just cannot trust your senses...you walk around with a huge grin, eyes like saucers, thinking WOW...because He rocks like that.

Like they way He answers prayers...has any one paid attention? i'm not even talking about the i want an aeroplane type prayers, i mean the simple things, like when you ask for your day to go okay, or not to miss the bus...i do not think it is coincidence...how ab0ut the things He does when you don't even ask? i think those are the best really, because you don't even know you need them and as such don't ask, but when you get them you can't imagine how you lived without them. I'm talking about simple things, like how in the depth of my not caring and running away from Him, He cares for me. He cares for the flimsiest of things, e.g my emotions, if i'm happy or sad. I noticed that at my lowest points, on my saddest days, something always happened that i wasn't expecting in a million years. Phone calls, complements, conversations...He made me happy, despite the fact that i wasn't being good at all..He cares, and it humbled me every single time...

And now i'm awestruck again...remember the last post and how i was going on and on about how i needed to give up something? well, it took a while, i fought with myself, i made excuses, i tried to convince myself that i misunderstood and really didn't have to give it up afterall...God is patient and persistent, that's all i can say!...i prayed a lot about it, i tried to ignore it and make it go away, but apparently that wasn't the deal..i had to give it up. So a couple of days ago i was just feeling so down and depressed, and as cliche as it sounds, i just felt empty, like there was this great big gaping black hole in the middle of my being. It was not a good feeling at all. I prayed. Then something else, perhaps unrelated, perhaps not, but i gave up something for what i call my own modified version of lent (i refuse to follow any "church" activities...i am not a fan of organized religion, but thats another talk)...and i gave up something...lol, not telling what but i know i gave up errything including looking at or thinking about it..pray i can hold on till the end!...anywho...so i prayed for help, guidance, i dunno what, but i knew i just had to face letting go of him.

lol...hold up, pause, let me clarify...the innitial letting go and giving up concerns a person. A person who i was somewhat involved with. There were many things wrong with it i guess, and even if not, God asked me to let go, you know, sacrifice i guess. I've been moping around wondering where the Mr.Perfect is, and what i was hearing from God was that i needed to let this guy go and trust Him, and not try to be providing backup for myself. That what is good for me will come along,but not while i am clinging to this great obstacle in my life ..because that was what it was...the thought of, "but if i let him go and another one doesn't come along nko?" and even while i was still thinkin like that, i knew it was ridiculous...but hey, i'm only human....

So i prayed...That night, i dreamt of breaking up with him. The next evening, he came online on messenger...see this has to be pointed out because he is not on all the time, his job and this and that. So dreaming about the breakup on messenger and then having him come on that day of all days was rather...eerie lol

It wasn't easy..i cried all the way...but i did do it. I did give him up, and now all i pray is that my feelings dissapear and he doesn't return, because Lord knows that will be hard. I still really like him, i think, and i feel a bit guilty in moments when i realize that...but i don't think i should, right? i mean...i damn near loved this person..i don't think God meant make your feelings dissapear overnight...i gave him up- that's the important part...

Now to the part that is leavin me oh-so-aware of His goodness and making me awestruck (lol, okay apart from all the other wonderful stuff) is the fact that all these very pleasant "coincidences" have been happening...like how i stayed up late last night chatting with this my guy friend...see...we know each other, a couple of mutual friends, facebook ish...but see, he is rarely ever online, and we've only like really talked three times mehn....okay, that is not the fun part...kai this boy is fine. as in, i can safely say he is the finest boy i have seen. body o, face o...and he is nice as hell....lol...Okay, okay, so i do not have plans for him, i have been praying against that, i do not want to like him that way...i'm just saying it was really nice talking to him, you know...not to mention that when that kain fine boy dey make you feel all cute...lol, it puts you in a good mood jor!...small reward abi?

basically it's this..at this moment, i am on a good path. I am happier than i've been in a long while, i am at peace, i am learning, i am learning to pray and just be in God's presence again, i am learning how to hear and listen when He speaks....and i am really trying to be a better person, giving up some bad habits (hehe, swearin, cuss words)...it's good..and He leaves me Awestruck!!!! hehe

Have a good one!

For He is Gracious and Merciful

So it's been a while...

What's not so terrible is that the long absense is not a reflection of time spent off the track..there were actually periods of being on track...What is bad though, is that those periods, in comparison to the absence, are insignificant.

Even now, as i type, i am not in one of "those" periods...like i was three weeks ago.

Whats most baffling to me, is why on earth i strive off the path when while i'm on it i am filled with such joyl. I see no logic whatsoever..as in, what is my problem?

This is the question i ask each time i have a huge asking for forgiveness and guidance session. I have no answers apart from it being some sort of advanced stupidity on my part...

However! God is Gracious and merciful (random line from a verse by the way). He truly is, because He never gives up on me, never stops speaking to me or looking out for me. It is us who stop listening and black Him out because we know He doesn't approve of whatever wrong thing we want to indulge in.

His forgiveness humbles and embarasses me, i feel sooo unworthy, because over and over again, i am stuck in this cycle and yet He still has patience for me.

*this post is very disjointed by the way, forgive me..i promise subsequent ones will be better*

I really have no words, and no excuse, and sometimes, i am ashamed to even ask for forgiveness, because the scenario in my head is like, "you're apologising for the same damn thing all over again, and each time you go ahead and make the same mistakes"...is it really so hard to stick to what gives me fulfilment in the way nothing else does? why is it so hard? i mean, i don't have to do anything completelly radical, really, it's so straightfoward and yet so complicated...

Truth be told, it is my fault...because He has told me what my problem is. I know what my problem is. he asked me to let go of it, and then we can move to the next stage, because thus far, i am stuck in the area before stage one of reconcilliation. I prayed, He listened. He spoke, i heard. And as much as He wants us to move on already..we can't..because i am too stupid to do what i gotta...i don't even know why..i tried taking the cowards way out and begging Him to just take it away..but i know I have to renounce it on my own..and until i do that, i am just going to be stuck her hopping from one foot to another on the same spot.

Really, honestly, i am as confused in my head as what i have written. bear with me. pray for me because i really really really don't want to be where i am right now...and yet i am so scared that i will let Him down again..like, it's better not to make promises you can't keep...yes?no?

Thanks you guys for not completely giving up on this and prodding me to come back to it!! Now, i'm off to get in that state of mind and ask for forgiveness again, in true prodigal fashion, and this time, hang on for a whole lot longer..