Thankful Thursday: The Great Adventure// Emi a rire!

The post last week was going to be on Jonah, and how his situation is not the God-will-haunt-you bad bad situation that people tend to interprete it to be. I think it is something to be ecstatic about! That God has a plan for you. His plans are perfect. All this is, is that He will make sure you end up where He wants you to be...in any case, He will do everything to lead you there. If your own stronghead pass that one, your loss. I personally find comfort in it. That He will find me under any rock and during any lapse of common sense and prod me out into the light. Do you realize how amazing that is? i could paint analogies..but this is supposed to be another post. Also, Proverbs 19:21. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. I dunno about you..but that gives me comfort.

Ehe...oya ring the bell, it's testimony time :P

Yup, i'm here again bursting with Joy. It's downright ridiculouuuuussssss! i cannot say this enough, i cannot pinch myself enough, i cannot go over the facts in my head enough. God is AWESOME and i haven't been the same.

Seeing how my thoughts and emotions are all over the place, i will just stick with the script and start with the Great Adventure part ( Emi a rire, i gather, means "I will find Favour"...amennnn!).

Thing is...when you're faced with the decision of taking that crazy jump i mentioned in my last post, "common sense" starts whispering at you that you're in for boredom, you're in for rules and more rules (ooh, btw, i shall address this with *Liberty...interesting that it is exactly what came up for my devotional this morning)...anywho..so common sense is there whispering at you that you've just about given up everything and what awaits you are days of wearing sackcloth and dusting yourself with ashes and never laughing.

Lies! :P But i guess why it IS about taking that crazy leap and trusting...because since i just carried all my load and handed it over to God...i have had more opportunities, more "coincidences", more interesting turns, more cause for rejoicing and just plain MORE in the last month or less than i've had in a very long time. Now, i'm not saying "allow God in your life, so that you can have a party". It isn't about that, and if that's why anybody signs up..they'll never get it...it's more like the very wise "Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all else will be added on to you" thing. Don't set out to get everything else in place, before you feel you are now equiped to search for God.

You do not have to become holy first, drop all your bad habits first, learn to pray first, read your bible first, and then be "qualified" (i am overusing the quotation marks in this post, aren't i?". If that's how you think it goes, you're holding the picture all wrong. God never asked you, or expected you to do, or be able to do anything on your own. Your business is to bring it to Him in prayer,and He will see you through. You just show up, and He will show you how to do it. It's not like school..you don't need a certificate in order to be accepted. You don't need to have any sort of previous skills.

Mahn, it's like a thousand and one thoughts..but i hope that one central one is getting through.

I can list out clear ties between prayers and results. Each and every one. It's humbling, knowing that God is not only listening and hearing...but is responding in ways that make you sway. I spent most of the week before last in a super emotional state, crying my eyes out because of the love He has enveloped me in. I was having issues with some things, had serious decisions to make concerning something that was tearing my will apart...and i kid you not, i stumbled not only across bible verses that dealt specifically with it, but He threw in two videos on youtube into it, in case i wanted to be slow...anybody that feels like oh, they can call it coincidence...but i call that God.

I could go on and on about situations like that...but i will not finish this post EVER then. It's better that you guys try it out for yourselves...me i'm still stunned and awed and grateful.

*about Liberty...heavily paraphrasing here...it's the Joy of the Liberty God gives is that..it truly sets you free, unlike most of us assume when we imagine turning everything over to God. It is the freedom to do everything you should be doing, and doing that, you'll reach heights that are dizzying. In the book, the analogy was with cars..and again, heavily paraphrasing: if you drive carefully, within the speed limit,and sober, you have the potential to drive to mars. That is freedom while doing what you ought to...because, you know...it's sensible. Now you could be drunk and going at it breakneck..feeling free and under nobody's control...but then the risk of crashing and making it nowhere are significantly higher, no?

Also, in related joy bringing things...gospel, praise and worship...to be perfectly honest, there was a point where i was like..music is music..mm Jesus music can be cool too...but lately...no matter what mood i'm in...gospel and praise just leave me elated. It's something new, to be so emotional over...music! but then...Praise has more power than you can imagine.

To be honest though, this post is coming out a bit choppy for me...i do hope, though, that when i go over it after posting (for this girl does not edit :P you guys get it gbagaun and all) it passes a message that resembles what is in my heart.

I am thankful for Life

I am thankful for prayer

I am thankful for God

I am thankful for Praise

I am thankful for Faith

I am thankful for Mercy

I am thankful for Grace

I am thankful for Forgiveness...lol lool up..all these women i'm thankful for sef..heh

I am thankful for Humour

I am thankful that God has a sense of humour

I am thankful for His patience

I am thankful for His faithfulness and relentlessness

I am thankful for thankfulness...it's the gift that gives back :P

I am thankful for my life, and everything He is has made, and is making it

I am thankful for how He sweeps me off my feet and opens my eyes wider than they've ever been

I am thankful that He teaches me

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for Love

I am thankful that He always leads me to where i need to be. and even when i stray, He intergrates that into His Plan, or yanks me out of there and sets me where i need to be.

I am thankful for Thankful Thursdays :)

I am thankful that i have been warm these past "coldest days this winter"

I am thankful for praise and gospel songs that uplift my spirits

I am thankful that He answers my prayers

I am thankful that He comes to my rescue and is my comfort and joy

I am thankful that anyhow e wan be...i have God...and that makes ANYTHING have hope.

I am thankful for the Hope i have in Him

I am thankful for inspiration, and everyone He inspires such that their words and actions inspire others'

I am thankful for role models

I am thankful...I am so thankful....there are no words.

So there...turn to God, run, jump, come as you are, and He will show you what to do.

Thankful Thursday: Where does one begin?//Freefall.

How do i Love Him? oh sit back and let me count the ways..we'll be here a while, so get comfortable.

I'll try and keep this short (ha!) seeing as it's past 12, and the third day in a row i'll be going to sleep around 1...not cute mahn, not cute!

However! lemme do my little song and dance and yell how amazing God is. In general, and to me. I am delirious at how everything that happens around me is not coincidental, but orchestrated by Him to bring me to, to lead me to where He needs me to be. Even if i slip, stumble and make a mess of things, He uses that disaster as a stepping stone, makes it into a lesson that makes me stronger..and all this, have ultimately led me back here, back into His presence and i must say that the joy is overwhelming. It's peace and joy and comfort and everything rolled into one. It's a sense of rightness after all the time i've spent looking for God, as i now realize, everywhere but right beside me, where He was standing all the while, waiting for me to turn and see Him..but that is another post.

Today, it's about freefalling. Faith. Majority of us, me included in the times before this realization dawned on me, and in moments now when it slips my mind, say we have faith. And we do, it is by no means a lie when we say it, but miss this vital aspect of it. It is just a layer of knowledge that is added on to the existing faith that you do have. Like everything that's built to last a lifetime, it is built layer upon layer, like a pearl or...you know...so it's perfectly fine and okay..just something we need to work on perfecting or bringing into existence.

So back to what faith has to do with freefalling. Me, personally, i am guilty of anxiety. I can be anxious over everything, especially little things, and go into a nervous place, trying to figure out how to control it all and solve it all..by myself. And this is my mistake. Knowing full well that God has asked that we cast ALL our burdens on Him..i still scramble about trying to solve things..perhaps out of habit. Like i pray, and ask Him to help me through and whatnot..and then randomly realize i'm having a panic attack because i am in the midst of backup plans...

Now i'm not saying to be all crazy and do absolutely nothing because we have "cast it all on God"..by no means..God didn't say He'll just drop things on your head...What He will do is clear paths and drop opportunities as you go along tackling the problem, believing that He has taken care of it, so it's just formality for you to go through the motions. If you siddon for house carry leg up, waiting for God to do it on your behalf...you're on your own oh!

Back to free falling...(this is how i keep it short..) What we should learn to do is trust God completely.Not call Him in as a gamble, to fulfill the demands of probability and increase your chances of cashing in on the right source. Trust Him wholly, such that you are not making backup plans on the side. Pray about it as much as you need, pray to let go of your anxieties and trust Him. Close your eyes, pray, then run like crazy and jump off the edge knowing that you won't just fall, but that He will make you soar. And that will just be the beginning of the adventures. I dunno who came up with the propaganda that living your life according to God's will is "boring"...They haven't seen anything yet. Every moment of every day of my life is filled with surprises and joy...now pray with me and for me that i don't go foolish and forget this joy and try to find God where He doesn't hang out...

I AM THANKFULLLLLL! for God

I am thankful for Forgiveness

I am thankful for Prayer

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for inspiration (as usual, i cannot claim this post mahn..i was going to write two lines! two!..also, the rate at which blog ideas have been attacking me ehn!)

I am thankful for this blog

I am thankful that He guides my steps

I am thankful for His plans for me

I am thankful for His love

I am thankful that He saves me each and every time

I am thankful that He's there every moment of every day

I am thankful that He is in the details,and not just grandiose things...He is there in every book, every flower, kitten and smile..making me smile

I am thankful for His Joy

I am thankful for serenity

I am thankful for forgiveness

I am thankful for His love

I am thankful for Love

I am thankful for words

I am thankful for lessons

I am thankful for His word

I am thankful for Life!!!

Also, i am thankful for the testimonies i get to give each day...God answers prayers in ways that have me steady picking my jaw up from the ground..

I am thankful for mentors

I am thankful for kindness

I am thankful for people without an agenda

I am thankful for sleep...which i am currently neglecting...

God.Is.Awesome!...so don't be afraid to jump..He has your back.

Thankful Thursday: Joy.

I am Thankful for His mercy, forgiveness, and faithfulness. I have come full circle...and here i am again..grateful, thankful and bursting with Joy. That joy that depends on nothing, that Joy that He fills you with that fills every cell to bursting..and you're just there, positively vibrating with joy. He never gives up, and is always there, with open arms, ready to continue the lesson...

This is going to be a short one..on Prayer. Apart from being megasuper thankful for Prayer, for what it IS.. Prayer has this other amazing quality to it. It is not about petitioning God and telling Him about things, because let's face it..He knows..His question is, Do YOU know? do you know what you want? what you need?

See prayer is the avenue through which we sit down and more or less do our homework with God. He listens, and even more than that, He helps you listen, to yourself, and to Him. It is in prayer that realizations hit me, it is in prayer that things that had me confused get untangled...

What i'm saying is...i believe i speak for a lot of people when i say the predominant assumption is that prayer is an avenue through which we speak and God listens. This is not entirely so. It is a conversation, not just you reading out a list to Him and moving on, to wait for your requests to be carried out or otherwise attended to...so next time you pray, be ready to listen as well..have a conversation...talk, joke, ask...God is cool like that :D

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for wisdom

I am thankful for understanding

I am thankful for Faith

I am thankful for His plans. For they are PERFECT, Without flaw.

I am thankful for His mercy

I am thankful for how He rolls up His sleeves and goes "that's it! playtime is over" and yanks me out of whatever abyss i've found to fall into..

I am thankful that my God is an Awesome God!!!!!

Thankful Thursday: Official and everything!

At some point this afternoon, i put two and all the fb and twitter updates i was seeing today together, remembered that it was Thursday...and it hit me that this was a very very actual day for a TT :D Happy Thanksgiving i guess...even if someone rightly pointed out, that for all non US residents, it's tantamount (what sort of Ponce uses "tantamount" in actual sentences?..anyways) to Americans saying Happy Osun (whatever that is)...anywho..any reason to be thankful is good enough for me :D

I am thankful thay God turns my frowns upside down. He does this in ways that calm my anxieties and remind me that He's got my back. For some inexplicable reason, i keep forgetting this and trying to handle everything...then proceed to fail woefully at it, and collapse in gratitude when He comes through and makes all the problems go away..then we sit back and have a good laugh and it's another lesson learned. I don't care how overwhelmed you are, or how hopeless you think a situation looks from where you're sitting, standing or curled up crying...He will stupefy you when He makes it all better.

Sometimes (a LOT of the time) it's mad difficult to sit there and act all believerish and positive. It's downright frustrating even, because human logic is constantly stage whispering at you what a fool you look, believing everything is fine when it's all crashing down all around you...I've been there this week, several times. I was there today..i will have a bruise on my arm tomorrow to prove it. I lost my cool, i forgot to be all positive..yes, i'm human..and my tears were 75% pure frustration..because it seems so unfair at the moment...

It's evening now..and everything that was causing me to be anxious? done. I was in a panic as to how i'd sort it all, BP up and all over everywhere, thinking of what on my list had to go...and you know what? everything that i had lined up (save for the assignment that i need to copy and paste together until it looks like an original piece :P ) is all done. That is a testimony. He is everything and more than worthy of our 100% trust and love and gratitude...now don't get it twisted..it's properly difficult to go about 24/7 in this state of mind..and that's okay..He understands this, and doesn't demand it of you from the get go...even when you're pro...you're still human...so it's okay..just don't let it turn into a road block, or a "turn around and stop" or "stop and turn around" sign...

abi it's Matthew 6&7...do not be anxious...do not be anxious..chant that like a mantra...He's got this...if i list out the ways i've seen this happen in the last week alone....that's what i'm on....take a deep breath, and stop getting in His way so much...

I am thankful for Life

I am thankful for Love

I am thankful for friends

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful that V is okay...

I am thankful for my godmothers new dog...i had a lesson in love yesterday...suuuch positivity...it's therapy mahn..

I am thankful for communication

I am thankful for kindness

I am thankful for understanding

I am thankful for forgiveness

I am thankful for harmony

I am thankful for inspiration

I am thankful for support of the moral variety

I am thankful that i am so loved. God has blessed me with the most amazing friends. Not just the ones that have been there since forever...but people who's kindness just touches you down deep, and they don't even suspect how much their care means....God bless them abundantly..

I am thankful for each day

I am thankful for nature

I am thankful for hardships that we overcome, hardships that are motivation...they make us grow...

I am thankful for music

I am thankful for God.

I am thankful for my sisters..

I am thankful for this week....DOOOD! it's Friday already? huh? when?

I am thankful for showers

I am thankful for where i am, for who i am, and am thankful for everything and everyone and every experience that led me here..God makes no mistakes.

I am thankful for this feeling i get when i count my blessings..i'm delirious! I have God, and He won't ever, doesn't ever leave me...

I am thankful!

In all things, give thanks...

Phewwww it's been a while...this phrase is becoming too much of a standard beginning to my posts...but no matter...

Obviously, my reasons are quite legit so let's get that one over with :P...it's quite simple really...according to the "once bitten, twice shy" doctrine, i went into turtle mode. Vulnerability overdrive and not wanting to share myself..because my words are an extension of me, and putting them all up and out there and having them...again, no matter....especially as i have been going through a period where there's just been literally no me to share.

They say that a person can only share what they have. Out of what they do possess can they take a bit, or a lot, and hand to another person, in the same nature as is the thing itself...i have come with my long sentences..basically, if you have apples, you can share apples, if you have rotten tomatoes, that's all that you can potentially share, there.

All that one is even another post. In line with taking baby steps, and continuing my all round healing and growth process, it has been hinted to me that writing this post today (not tomorrow, and not yesterday) is the next step...if it's a starting step to a line of steps, or just a control step, after which i go to another lesson, i have no idea.

I just really really really want to yell this from the mountaintops: In ALL things, be thankful. Yesterday just looked like Punkd....it was the first day of the beginning of this reform i've started out on...and all these challenges were just popping up left, right and center to the point where if it wasn't frustrating, i would have given in to the laughter that was just fighting to get out...and i did laugh, eventually....But again, that's not the point. The point is, they all challenged me to be thankful, despite the situation, to live up to the positivity that i embarked on the day before. At first, it was through sheer determination, because the only thing i wanted to do was tap into my rich vocabulary of cusses..in several languages...small small, i answered instead with thanks...and you know what? it calmed me down, and i started being genuinely thankful, regardless of the situation, because it put things in perspective and made me see that the blessings i do have just dwarf and annihilate these insignificant things that if payed attention to, if fed with the negativity they crave, are a threat to my general happiness not just at the given moment, but in future, and in the big picture of my life...

I'm just started out on this...but the blessings and fortune that have just enveloped me as a result...are the best motivation i could ask for...Trust in God, know that He doesn't make mistakes...your own part will be to pass any tests thrown your way, do not give in to negativity and doubt...and your joy will just grow before your eyes. Oh, and that is another point..be happy. NOW. Not when something happens or when you buy something or eat something. Decide to be happy, and simply be so...it requires nothing more than deciding to be so, and BEING so. Do not tie your happiness to any external factors. To do so is to surrender all the rights you have over you to everyone and everything else, and have no control over your own life...and that's just silly. You own your own happiness.

Okayyy...before i gwan break something...these muscles have been out of practice, yea? before i just strain sumn...kai...but i guess there is what to write about meyn...the second half of this year has just been...whoaaaaa! i just thank God! I am so thankful it's making me delirious...

I am thankful for Life, for God, for Love, for friends and family....and everything else that i shall do justice to in subsequent posts....

xoxo.

Thankful Thursday: Step 1, learning to read.

This post, i'll start with a huge Thank You to Him for everything that's inspired it, both the things i am able to communicate and the ones that remain just out of reach, that refuse to be written down things. Secretly, i suspect that they are a stronger force than even the things i can/try to peg down and analyse.

It feels like i've been in hibernation, then in a month and a half, with increasing intensity, i'm being taken apart and put back together over and over again, better each time. It's the start of something..or just a necessary phase...but it feels good. Like the aches you feel all over when you work out (ahem...yes...work out ;)...about that...walking counts!)

It's going by me so fast, like i'm on a crash course of something...I don't think i've ever stood aside and seen me the way i have in the last couple of weeks, i am learning(love that!) so much about..well..me, growing up, what i want, what i need. A lot of difficult decisions have been, and have to be made..but somehow it's okay, it's reassuring, it's easier knowing that it's for the best. Nothing good ever came without sacrifice...i embrace growth...gaaaah there's so much emotion right now and it's frustrating not being to just transfer the picture in my head to this here post. It's radical! it's a breath of fresh air! it feels right...

One of the epiphanies i had a couple of days ago was that where i am now, this crossroads or empty lot or whatever metaphor/visual works is good for me. No, no, no don't disimiss this point. When you don't realize/accept that you are where you need to be, you start looking for a way out, instead of getting comfortable and learning the lesson of the day. It's just going to be time wasted, because with the way He works..there will be no lesson skipped...He is patient..He has all of Time to wait..so when you're done struggling against, you WILL learn that lesson, and only then can you move on. Me, i'm thirsty, like, let's get this show on the ROAD!

In line with this, is realization that dawned on me this evening while watching this interview with some tranny (SUPER FOINE!..when she wasn't speakin sha..cuz that bass....phew) and some producer guy who i don't know, but will track down the interview of, because this unassuming bald pudgy fella was exuding some kind of relaxed wisdom that is the exact brand of what i'm shooting for. Not that he's the bees knees...but there are a couple of things i won't mind learning, knaamean? Now, beside the point. Some of what he said was basically the story of my life. Okay, not the ENTIRE story..but bits i could relate to without even tweaking...But then the light in which he said it made me realize that he seemed to know more about what i was looking for being in those situations that me in them.

It's being drawn to something, vaguely knowing that there's a thing which attracts you about it, yet if asked, you mumble and can't quite place your finger on it. This whole episode made me see things a bit differently. That i might be in these situations thinking to learn from them (and that i do! no offence to them in any way) but at the same time, i need to learn to read His intentions better.

He's a bit more complex than giving you a thing with one meaning. Be it a blessing, a challenge...So (i just really need to spell this out for me :P) It's not so much about just learning, but also about having all these different situations i'm thrown into challenge me to be the best version of me that i have the potential of being. That, was a long sentence.

So, it's not just about Uni, it's not just about friends, it's not just about incidences, coincidences, people and learning from them like you're in class..But also recognizing where the lesson is in fact indirect and you just need to pop into class, and be out of there, knowing what to work towards....you grab? :P Tyler Perry in one Production (i forget which) had this story about friends, acquaintances and i believe he likened them to a tree. How some are the leaves, some the branches, and some, the root system. Likewise experiences and well..everything in life, really. With time, you should learn to spot from a distance who is a leaf and is there for a season. Love and appreciate them, and be genuine for that season, and there are no hard feelings when that season is over. It does not in any way negate the experiences. Problems start when you try to make a seasonal leaf into a lifetime appendage...That's just unhealthy.

Everything in life is dynamic, it's all moving, changing..seasons, day to night, people being born, dying...that is life, change, moving on, metamorphosis. Some people are more sentimental than others, and this is their blessing and curse to bear until they wise up, or are matyred for it. To each his own. I, however, for now in any case, am being hinted in the direction of letting things go when they've run their course. No hard feelings...there are just other things that need to be seen, be heard..There is a time to learn, to gather to soak up, to grow...that is now. We never stop learning, and we teach along the way when and where we can, but the objective is also at some point to be able to share something...

Sharing. Another current motivating factor, directly tied to the epiphany. You cannot share what you do not have. You cannot have a conversation, you cannot give advice if you have nothing in you (i sense this is another post, potentially), so therefore, before you gwan start cleaving to people, work on yourself. In summary, that is it. You are your first and neverending project. The one you are constantly showing, having evaluated, and the one you and only you will answer for at the end. Deduction strongly hints that it's only advisable to do the best you can raising the person that you are. The world is open, there is everything to know, and you have time...i dunno....Heaven knows i've slacked on that front for months now. Again, there is a time for everything..that period is part of what is motivating me now..so i guess i can call it breaking even. Summary is this; If everything is taken from You, all you have left is you...might as well make that one badass you. It does take constant evaluation, constant awareness, and that favourite of every person (there is pure wisdom in this), work. It is work. It won't just happen to you, but if you identify what you do want for you...it gets better from there (say i, bursting with optimism). I do need to get back to me, and by jove will i make progress. It's sad to remain stuck in a rut...when all around you life is happening..NoThankYou!

Also. Cutting off. Like the learn to say Yes movements or the say No movements, another wise one is the cut off one. Again, sentimental sillies like myself have/used to :P have problems letting go..but then you realize that because of that, you are hanging on for way too long to what is not healthy for reasons you can't describe farther than...but it would be so rude to let go. It sounds cruel and terribly non-PC..but sometimes, in some things, you have to learn to be selfish. It is healthy selfishness. Like, weighing the pros and cons, you come to see that the (true story) negativity and lack of drive in someone close to you, or interest in self development as it appears holds you back in the large picture. It worked for a while, dismissing these things as "one of those things", but then you see that not only are they unchanging, but they are catching. So it's either they are potent, or you are weak..either ways...if it's not making you better...you're probably better off without...i dunno...these are thoughts as at now. Perhaps tomorrow i''ll be wiser and see it differently..and even then..it will be built upon this here experience so....

Whoa...i have typed an epistle. Making up for lost posts or something...

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for Love

I am thankful for epiphanies

I am thankful for Family

I am thankful for friends...i don't know where i'll be without them...

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for food :D

I am thankful for patience....of which i do need a bit more

I am thankful for plans....even if i'm still working out if i love them to bits, or can't stand them...they tend to fall through though..

I am thankful for fantasies...they keep you sane sometimes..your very own telenovela :D

I am thankful for boxing...yes, i know..awful awful violent...but i must have some sort of blood thirst :D

I am thankful for LIFEEEE!!! i cannot say enough or with a strong enough intensity how much i love life and the blessing of it

I am thankful for His blessings, His mercies, His love even if i have done precious little to deserve it

I am thankful for His patience....i know i require it doubledose :D

I am thankful for Prayer...i will be straight up honest..haven't had a good pray in ages...something holding me back...emptied myself over the last half year..and it's ridiculous that i feel like i have no ME to share with Him...He freakin gives me ME...so...i'm being counterproductive..need a good pray....i'm scared..

I am thankful for answered prayers. Even the ones that i don't consciously pray...He hears them.

I am thankful for Kindness. I believe in Kindness.

I am thankful for thoughtfulness.

I am thankful for getting to know yourself

I am thankful for books

I am thankful for the little things. It has gotten repetitive...but it's all about the little things

I am thankful for shoesss :D :D

I am thankful for writing. In this moment, i realized how ironic it is that pouring yourself out with these words can, instead of emptying you out, fill you with more than you had to start out with...#Therapy

I am thankful for music....Hush Hush and Chudo have helped me through a lot in the last few weeks. That is all there is to be said right about now.

I am thankful for Happiness...go out and GET IT!

I am even more thankful for JOY...

I am thankful for everything that has been in my life, is in my life, and will be...For i trust Him entirely and really need to learn to stop helping Him chart my course, but actually sit back and listen, as opposed to "reading" the "obvious" and quickly acting on that...

I AM THANKFUL!

:D

Also, Aloted, i love you :)

Thankful Thursday: Back to Basics

As always, i believe everything that happens in my life happens when it's supposed to, and there's a lesson to be learned. So before joking about how i've really been away for a while and apologising...it feels like it was meant to be...so...yea

Haven't written for several reasons it seems, none of which i have called by name; it's always..no time, no inspiration..but most of all, i think it's avoiding the vulnerability that it is...At the end, it's me opening up and letting in, even if it seems like the most average copy-style writing, to me, and maybe it will only ever be, to me it's kind of a big deal...sometimes i get all hedgehog-y and curl up in a ball, spikes out....well then..oooh of hedgehogs! we found one, proceeded to tear (his grip-toh bahd!) him (or her?) away from the plant or whatever he was hangingo on to and take him indoors...cutest friggin thing everrrr! growls like a champ tho...who would have thought?

Back to basics...

It feels like over this summer, i've packed in several years' worth of growing up...decisions i've misunderstood or struggled with for years now have become clear and it's like a breath of fresh air, really..like i'd been stumbling about and i was just pointed in the right direction. Now, i don't know if this is temporary, or long term...either ways, it's progress.

Back to basics...

It feels like in the world we live in, we are constantly being given a finished picture to work with. A large, complex version of reality that we ought to "be living now" or be losers. From pre-teen girls with full makeup and 4 inch heels trying to untie complicated grown up like emotions, to teens suffering major depression because they feel they fall short of what is considered to be "success", failing to see, to understand that this half way done complicated picture is not where you ought to start.

They don't tell us about the basics anymore. For some reason it's not fun enough, it's not glam enough...so we hit the ground running, without training or at least a good stretch, and basically end up closing our eyes and hoping for the best.

So many things have made me come to a complete stop and ask for some sanity. To stop the spinning, to stop the urgency, not even to clear the plate, but to at least see what i'm working with, and i've come to understand that i need a carte blanche, and a do-over. Not because of any regrets, not because i'm sorry for anything that has happened, but because i've come to see that maybe, just maybe, i need to learn my ABCs, even if i already know how to read. We forget, we get caught up in long sentences...We need to learn to slow it down, abandon pride and the sense of accomplishment that must not omly be matched, but supassed, and learn to learn it all over again. Not because we don't know..but because we could know it better. Everything that you will ever learn or achieve is built on something...you cannot learn algebra if you can't add...and even if you do learn to do the algebra..you'll do it by blind faith until you learn that 2+2 is 4 and not just believe that it is that...knaamean?

So that's my current epiphany...going back to basics, seeking out the elementary, in love, in life, in people, in work, in everything..slow down and go back to basics when it all overwhelms you. Go back to the start and retrace your steps...i don't even know what actions come under this new resolution of mine..or more like..i feel them...to put them in words is still a bit of a stretch, and slightly personal if anything...but..like when you loose something, you go back to the start, back to when and where you first had it, and retrace your steps until you get to where you are and remember why you're there, and where you're headed...

I am thankful for so much in my life right now, that cliche aside, it's this surge of emotions that make me want to cry, just cry tears of joy for His faithfulness, for His kindness, and the way He has my back. For every bad day i think i have, i get a million good ones, plus the insight that the so called "bad day" was a blessing too...

I am thankful that He has not, and does not abandon me, even when our relationship is less than traditional..I feel Him there, His presence is oh-so-vivid

I am thankful for laughter...

I am thankful for love. Nope, not the sappy, lets-hold-hands variety (even if i'm sure it's just gravy), but just...love...the one you feel for everybody...just for being humans (lol i growl at people too o! i have my i-hate-people days...) but...the love my family cocoons me in, the love i have for my friends...it might be "just a feeling"...but it can't be that trivial if it makes you feel JOY..just for no reason, you're joyful because of this love...

I am thankful for my family...they are the best!...even when they are driving me up the walls...we kiss and make up

I am thankful for understanding...in the sense of understanding things, those "it dawns on me" moments

I am thankful for understanding..in the sense of being understood and understanding other people...

I am thankful for jokes

I am thankful for UNI!!! 1st September, first day back...and i was soooo happy to see my coursemates! two years will make a family out of strangers...love their yeye heads to bits..we squabble, and we don't entirely agree with each other..but in bits and pieces, we find mutual interests...and that's okay

I am thankful for Choices...people have options, and that's okay...free them! the world will be happier

I am thankful...for being happy for people..genuinely not playa hating, but clapping on the back and telling them they did good and wishing them well sort of being happy for people...too many people just be puttin sand in other people's garri for no reason

I am thankful for growth....i am a long way from knowing anything..buh small small....through burns, stumbles, and straight out parking your face on the floor...we learn and grow..

I am thankful for hurt and pain and whatever other unpleasant feelings we may be forced to face every now and then..they push us to be the best we can, they prod us into growing...in the end, you look back and find it in your heart to be thankful to whatever it is that pained you and made you better...

I am thankful for kindness...there's nothing to it, it's completely free...but it's possibly one of the best things you could share...

I am thankful for smiles

I am thankful for compliments :D :D :D chei i love Kiev :D

I am thankful for well mannered/raised/what you will call it men/boys...well and girls too, but that's beside the point...there's something about it that just makes your jaw drop...and when you feel like a girly girl in the presense of a boy..you know he's doing something right..makes you want to track down everybody responsible and give them an award....While on that, a slight detour (mostly a note to me for a future post) that girls need these sort of males in their lives (fathers, brothers, cousins, uncles, etc etc), because when they grow up, they'll have clear set standards of the men they let in their lives and settle for nothing less.....

I am thankful for people that are there for you no matter what...whether it's a shoulder they give you, a hanky, a bottle and a pep talk, or just hear you out and see your side...i am thankful with my whole soul for these angels

I am thankful for learning

I am thankful for God

I am thankful that He answers all my prayers

I am thankful for all those walks and looking at the stars..for real...escape someplace with wide open spaces and no electricity and just stare at the sky #amazing!!!!!! puts you and your life in perspective..reassures you that there's more to life, that there's so much out there to learn, to know..to be awed by..

I am thankful that each new day is an adventure, full of little surprises

I am thankful for happiness, for joy...that if you decide to be, it will come your way...everywhere you look...oooh like that cute ass kid at the skate park today...gaddehmn i want one of those running around my house..he'll have me wrapped around his little finger..little cherub!

I am thankful for writing...and that i have this outlet..let it be that the words come out arseways...but it's good for me like that..monkey no fine but im mama like am..

I am thankful for the Internet!!! :D

I am thankful that we all have a chance for a re-think and a do-over

I am thankful that everybody that's been flying anywhere has gone and come safely

I am thankful for sleeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!! been scrimping on that lately

I am thankful for LIFE! for if we are alive...then the whole world is there to explore, and it can only go up from there...

I am thankful for books

I am thankful for positivity

oohi am thankful for this third cousin of mine that has been discovered.....the big brother i've been looking for all my life? *Hong Kong Phooey voice* Miiiight be!! :D hehe so many plans...

I am thankful for my great uncle and my great aunt and and the time we spent together

I am thankful for memories

I am thankful for simplicity

I am thankful for deciciveness (how dem dey spell am again?)

I am thankful for communication..

I am thankful for resolutions...i.am.going.to.be.happy.

I am thankful for fairness....i am the stomacher of a lot..unfairness still knocks me flat everytime..leaves me gasping and hyperventilating...

i am thankful.....