Thankful Thursday: Twas the eve before the end...

On the one hand, i have jokes about this end of the world thing...there are so many questions that arise from organisation alone..i mean..what time? does it start in New Zealand? Does it go time zone by time zone? On the other hand, i have watched a Zeitgeist vid or two and there is the aspect of the end of an era...so...let me just leave that talk one side...

Like the Sufi poem i have had up here before, let my actions be because of my love for God, and not out of fear, or as a guarantee for something. I do not want to worship God because of Heaven. He is the end, He is the means, He is everything. He is the end first of all. He is the reason, He is the point, and honestly, He is enought. I have nothing against Heaven, but i never would want that to be my reason for loving God. It's like getting married to whomever because of the accomodation they can provide....i would decidedly not enjoy being the owner of the real estate in question, i'll tell you that much.

So in continuation of last week's post, i'll like to say that speaking hypothetically about rapture, i guess i'm okay with whatever the outcome. Not okay as in passive, but okay as in i do not have arguments against God's judgement. If i fall short on the day...then i messed up along the way...we will tighten belts and consult all the knowledge we gathered from Left Behind...warriors are still needed for the Tribulation, and God will not leave those who step up to it without cover...so...not that i'm indifferent..i'm just sayin'...lol while not in said situation...i'm sure i'll rant and rail and whatnot for a bit in this hypothetical situation...

It's kinda weird how this is the post that is typing itself today. I am never one for Apocalypse talk. If it happens, it happens...i'm just not one to be all agitated about it like it's happening live...when it arrives, it will arrive...Or i'm desensitized because 90% of my dreams are set in a post-apocalyptic world, and this has been the case for as long as i can remember so...yeah...

What i'm trying to say, in essence, the part where this post hooks up with the last post...is that it is against my spirit to do eye service for God. To knowingly, intentionally comply with God's will SO THAT...i speak for myself, and the testimony of the spirit within me. It might not be the case for anyone else, but i cannot deny what is true for me, i cannot unknow it, i cannot pretend like this is not how God has wired me...

If i were to form activity SO THAT God will do anything...my spirit will not be at rest within me. I'll feel like a scheming person, and that is the last thing that agrees with my principles. I love God, i love my relationship with Him, i seek Him, i want to know Him, and He reveals Himself to me, He has blessed me with the opportunity to have this relationship, He is alive in my life....and you know...THIS is my joy, this is my contentment...

I am thankful for God

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for contentment

I am thankful for simplicity

I am thankful for comfort

I am thankful for friends

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for His grace

I am thankful that i am so infinitely blessed

I am thankful that He loves me with a love that shakes the earth

I am thankful for His patience

I am thankful that God is GOD, with the very nature He has

I am thankful for wisdom

I am thankful for understanding

I am thankful for maturity

I am thankful for forgiveness

I am thankful for inspiration

I am thankful that God is so much bigger than this

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for kindness

I am thankful for miss Ruby...like! there are no words!

I am thankful for food

I am thankful for the favour i am experiencing at Uni...grace by the left and by the right man! na God!

I am thankful for who i am. So deeply, thoroughly thankful for the gift of life, for the opportunity to walk this earth, to have the experiences i have...and to have a relationship with God...SO.THANKFUL!

I am thankful for His perfect plan

I am thankful!!!!

oh, P.S

O Lord,
If tomorrow on Judgment Day
You send me to Hell,
I will tell such a secret
That Hell will race from me
Until it is a thousand years away.

O Lord,
Whatever share of this world
You could give to me,
Give it to Your enemies;
Whatever share of the next world 
You want to give to me,
Give it to Your friends.
You are enough for me.

O Lord, 
If I worship You
From fear of Hell, burn me in Hell.

O Lord, 
If I worship You
From hope of Paradise, bar me from its gates.

But if I worship You for Yourself alone
Then grace me forever the splendor of Your Face.

Rabi´a al-Adawiyya, translation by Andrew Harvey and Eryk Hanut - 'Perfume of the Desert'

Thankful Thursday: A little bit of honesty...

So what if we were real? Real with ourselves first of all and then real with others? No apologies..maybe then we can grow?

I've had this "honesty challenge" in mind for a while now, and have mentioned it in previous posts...It's something i've personally taken up in my life and well...we're getting there.

Now, this is not about me being a chronic liar or anything of that sort...it's about the kind of  "omission" that we don't even notice we do, and most of all, it affects and concerns us, before any other person.

We want to be liked, we don't want to offend people, there are social ideals and standards we are called to conform to...and we're all living a lie a little bit. Sometimes i envy, and all the time respect those people who are genuinely themselves, and/or state their point of view even when it goes completely against the norm, against the "grey". I'm not saying anyone should run amok now..but...

If you are constantly bending every which way to conform, to not rock the boat..when are you going to discover you? Learn? Grow?

In being honest with yourself, you are taking the first step in admitting where you fall short, and not just admitting, but giving yourself a chance to make necessary changes and move on. When we aren't honest, when we don't stand up and take responsibility for our thoughts and actions, then all we have is this nagging sense of guilt that we never confront, but are very bitter about...and it gets us nowhere.

It's saying yes, i drink, i smoke, and i'm working on it...and not keeping face like nothing stronger than sparkly water crosses your lips because "oh this crowd won't understand"...lol iono mahn...but i've become more blunt than i used to be...let me be less than perfect, but may God be my strength as i don't shy away from admitting it. How do you want to be grown up and do things and then run away? If you're going to make the decision to do anything, you better get up and stick by it to the end, shameful or not..can't just sweep it under the rug like we're all supposed to pretend it didn't happen..

Okay i'm ranting now..but i hope the gist of it is understood...take that challenge to be honest with yourself, with people...don't allow political correctness make you drive yourself into lying to yourself..face things as they are and work with that...can't build anything on lies and illusions..that's no type of foundation..

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for God

I am thankful that He leads me where He intends me to be..and sees me through..no matter how terrified out of my mind i may be...

I am thankful for His ever present voice

I am thankful for His patience

I am thankful for His LOVE

I am thankful for rest...oh sleeep.....

I am thankful that time has been flying sha

I am thankful for uni

I am thankful for friends

I am thankful for Grace

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for all the amazing wishes i got on my birthday

I am thnakful for warmth

I am thakful for His promise

I am thankful for the beautiful snow all over everywhere...even though...it's not easy being out and about mahn!

I am thankful for wisdom

I am thankful for communication

I am thankful for feelings

I am thankful for blessings

I am thankful for life...i am thankful for new chances i am thankful for His perseverance, for His faithfulness


I am thankful!

p.s...i've been writing these posts for the last three/four thursdays...and i have faith, and i believe..but for me it's more theory than practice. In my own life, i'm on pause. I'm overwhelmed and i am not turning to God as i ought to..i'm just on pause, telling Him i need alone time..and that's wrong...that's not right...so if you'll say a prayer for me..i'll really appreciate that....thank you :)

Thankful Thursday: Friends

But at least I got my friends
Share a rain coat in the wind
They got my back until the end
If I'll never fall in love again
Well at least I got my friends
Like a life boat in the dark
Saving me from the sharks
Even though I got a broken heart
At least I got my friends, got my friends, got my friends, got my friends
Well at least I got my friends

-Aura Dione- Friends.

So i heard this song in passing, then heard it again, then again, then listened to it, then really listened to it...and mahn, it opened my eyes to how much i am blessed to have my friends.

It is not the easiest thing for me to make friends. I have layers of trust issues, and layers of principles that make it hard for my spirit to agree with a lot of people. I mean, sure, i have aquaintances, acquaintances i really respect and like even...but my friends? That's pure love...

About two weeks ago i was privy to a conversation where there was talk about no such thing as "love at first sight" and how we choose people based on certain parameters and then decide to love them...uhm...listen, my girls, my friends, the ones that i carry in my heart...it was love at first sight, first conversation. LOL okay so not like oooh all sense to the wind this is my besty now! but within a short time of knowing them, you feel it in your spirit that you and this person...a friendship is born. It can't really be explained..but when your spirit clicks, it does...and it's not because you stalked them and decided they are "successful, smart, kind, proper" etc etc..nope...everybody has their shortcomings, and when that love thing happens...they just become minor irritating moments that don't matter in the big picture.

I've gone through ups and downs with these people. They share my joy, they drop everything and are there for me when i need them, i laugh for days with them and never run out of what to talk about. We support each other, advise each other, cry with each other, just hang around and are stupid with each other. I am  myself. They are themselves. The honesty is refreshing, i don't need a mask, i can be myself and i...am never alone...People, i can't describe the soul swelling joy that can fill a person with.

There are a handful of them...but they.are.the.BEST!

And i am blessed to have them in my life. I am thankful for who they are, and everything that made them them, and everything that led our paths to cross. I am so thankful for their love...mahn....

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for God

I am thankful for Grace

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for resillience

I am thankful for literature

I am thankful for MY FRIENDS!

I am thankful for patience

I am thankful for wisdom

I am thankful for growth

I am thankful for this here beautiful winter!

I am thankful for communication

I am thankful for strength

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for music

I am thankful for making memories!

I am thankful for kindness

I am thankful for honesty

I am thankful for experiences that make me stronger

I am thankful for naivite

I am thankful that no matter what...i still believe

I am thankful for forgiveness

I am thankful for inspiration

I am thankful for people

I am thankful for relationships

I am thankful for Uni

I am thankful!!!