Thankful Thursday: Above all, i believe...

I didn't realize today was thursday until i saw Aloted's comment in my inbox. I know. Terrible...You can't blame me too much though, i wasn't even sure what day it was...i had no weeked so my perception of time is all messed up :P...So good with the excuses eh?

The title...I have and am still struggling a whole lot with the concept of "christianity". I have beef with that one in paticular because it's the one know. I have investigated and had long discussions with my conscience, gone over all the scoin scoins it has for me and a whole lot of that... I have a lot of questions that are not answered, and i have a lot of things that don't sit well with me at all...But above all of that, totally aside and beyond those questions, is the fact that i DO believe in God. No matter the paths i investigate, i always come back to realizing that nothing will shake my faith in God. Not lies, not earnest legends, not fantasies, or "logical" arguements will convince me that there is no God. There is, and i believe in Him...i just have a lot to learn, thats all...and that i will do, one way or another...and i am thankful for that

I am thankful for my friend, Shar, and the timid steps she's "taking" to let go of the abusiveness she calls her relationship with her ex. Like all addicts...i don't believe her...i will not give her the luxury of believing her until i am completely convinced...but i am thankful that she is at least trying...even if only on the surface...

I am thankful that i am able to be there for her, that i am able to have words to tell her that lift up her spirits, that encourage her, that make her see a light of sorts. I am thankful for all the times i am able to hug her and talk some sense into her...and she listens...i am thankful for every word, every statement that takes root in her life and lifts her up...even if i may never know what did it...i am thankful that i can help in my own way...

I am thankful for all those nice women in my school who are forever flattering me...a little warmth goes a very long way!

I am thankful for my grandma, who somehow puts up with my hormone-induced drama queen-ness...i look back and think i acted HOW? it's shameful...but she doesn't ever get propa vex at me..and she forever encourages me..and feeds me!!!

I am thankful for my grandpa, and how he always has jokes and is the smartest guy i know...

I am thankful for the lie my teacher blew today to well...people that kinda "discriminated" against me..i'm okay with it, really...i'm chubby, okay, i'm okay with that, lol...and my dean sent me to some lady organizing a cultural fashion show thing..now, i had no idea what it was about, and the woman be talking about, they don't have the clothes yet, and so they don't know the sizes, and well, you know how they sew these days, economizing and all...LMAO...poor lady...she was looking for a delicate way to tell me i'm heavy...but then my teacher was like, okay, if you need her...then sumn sumn, i'm sure you won't have any problems, she speaks four languages..in a very HA! brains win over your superficiality way...i speak three...

I am thankful for the fact that i am able not to give in to "peer" pressure...i don't think i have ever had that as a problem..maybe i'm a tad selfish to give a hoot about living to satisfy someones standards...but most of all..i think it's because i have a very rational head on my shoulders, and i'm always the mature voice of logic and reason...and i am thankful for that!!!

I am thankful that i am oh so fine :P...yes, superficial..but that red lipstick today had me feelin fierce!

I am thankful that even though i am hopeless at solving most of my own emotional problems, i always seem to be able to come up with very sound advice for my friends in need...

I am thankful that deep down...i am okay with me...even if i indulge in minor complaints

I am thankful that..okay, this one is controversial...but i am thankful that i am able to put up a solid wall between me and all those silly infatuation kinds of things. Two words : SO WRONG...anything that makes me go silly and not in control is not a good thing..on the downside...for me to "fall in love" would be a task...

I am thankful that i am stronger than i was a month before, that i am able to say no to many things, that i am able to look at things more critically and not compromise where compromise is not needed...

I am thankful for my friends...that i know i can shamelessly lean on for emotional support...they are like springs of happiness!

I am thankful for emotions...because they make things so fun! crying..laughing...liking

I am thankful for my history test today!!! i sounded like a bumbling fool and the man gave me an "excellent" grade...this is not unfair, btw..i do deserve that grade..i know everything he has ever said, i do! i do! just that explaining the history of Ukraine in Ukrainian...well, not every Ukrainian can do it so...ha!

I am thankful that i live at HOME with my grandparents and not in a hostel...as fun as it sounds at first...it's not worth it..home wins everytime, for so many reasons it would be an insult to even mention..

I am thankful for sleep...so simple, so uncomplicated, so utterly free...and yet so wonderful...mmm

I'm sleepy :P have a test tomorrow..language..

I am thankful for written words

I am thankful for spoken words

I am thankful for words read

I am thankful for words heard

I am thankful for His word
I am thankful for words!!! communication is a beautiful thing

be good now...