Thankful Thursday: Treading water

That's what i suppose i feel like right now...i'm not particularly drowning anymore, but i'm not swimming yet..just here, treading, greatest concern being keeping my head above it all..actual movement is a whole other stage...i love analogies!

Again i'm amazed how i always end up coming full circle...i go through a phase of complete lawlessness..lol, okay so maybe that's a bit dramatic..but it is anarchy to go for weeks on end without actually praying, when you'd been going months with a very serious prayer thing happening. And the most painful part is that you are aware of right and wrong, and know that this isn't quite right...but you keep doing it, which makes you feel useless, which makes you depressed and when i'm depressed, i feel to guilty to act like best friends with God...vicious cycle, really...

However! i read a Jon Acuff post about the comma...and it was like he wrote that for me...i forget the verse, but there's a comma and not a full stop, and that makes all the difference. It's the point where God tells you that nope, you cannot screw up so much that it will be the final screwup, so get over yourself and get back on track...but even though you know this, it doesn't make it any easier...oh well.

He has been good to me. He has been beyond good to me..He has been good to me throughout periods of me all but ignoring Him, He has been good to me throughout periods of disobeying Him, He has been good to me while i do the exact opposite of what it is i know i should be doing, He has been good to me, unwavering in His love and support...that's the kind of love that stuns you...literally not based on any conditions, just the fact that He cares, and that's it...good o, bad o..He is just there, being understanding..I am thankful for that. The weird part is that i realize that being good, or living by His rules is for MY own good. God isn't using you not being angry to do anything, like i've said before, it doesn't affect His status anyhow...it's your life that's better when you're less angry..and there's the thing about that anger coming up as a wall between you and Him..and well...that is not a good thing at all..cuz when you're at that good place, you realize how amazing that communication is..and anger cuts it off..and you're like..so what do i do nowww?

I am thankful for God

I am thankful that due to several this' and that's i have the relationship that i have with Him..

I am thankful for life..

I am thankful for understanding

I am thankful for forgiveness

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for compassion

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for kindness

I am thankful for surprises

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for friends

I am thankful for talented people and the beauty they create

I am thankful for people...they are sooo beautiful..each in their own specific way..

I am thankful for learning..from everything,anything..

I am thankful for people who care

I am thankful for people who get me

I am thankful for the people that i care for

I am thankful for the people that i get

I am thankful for sports

I am thankful for today! rawked too hard to put into words..wasn't expecting it at all!

I am thankful for inconsistencies...monotony kills!

I am thankful for Herbal essences! omdaze i'm in loveeeeeee!

I am thankful for communication mediums

I am thankful for books

I am thankful for Spring..and Summer that's coming

I am thankful for my daily devos

I am thankful for sincerity

I am thankful for food

I am thankful for my bed

I am thankful for His guidance

I am thankful for the abundance of unearned miracles and blessing in my life

I am thankful that He doesn't give up on me..i'd have given up on me

I am thankful..for solitude

I am thankful for time

I am thankful that i have no problems

I am thankful that i don't have any funky illnesses

I am thankful for where i am at this moment, who i am...i love me

I am thankful for each new day...each one is an adventure..24 hours..which i sadly often misuse/underuse

I am thankful that i kicked it..nasty habit ya

I am thankful for every single thing...because even the bad stuff- are a path to the good...call me crazy

I am thankful!!!