**I had a conversation sometime this week/last weekend? That made me a bit..ashamed of myself? See, because i caught myself thinking in the way that i've been trying to make people stop thinking. I hate that mentality..and yet, it's so ingrained into our consciousness, our subconsciousness...it's about conformity again. People yell, scream, preach, publish books encouraging people to be individuals, to be them, to be confident in who they are...
Which makes our society very ironic indeed, seeing as from birth, we are groomed, encouraged, and downright threatened to be normal. "normal" is subjective, no? We are begged to blend into the crowd, heaven forbid any sort of standing out, because we all know that isn't "normal" and so you must be crazy and should be sent to the loony house..and so little kids learn to lie, learn to act the way they know they are expected to, learn to lie low in this mad effort to be mediocre. School systems routinely annihilate any potential talent, instead of studying these young people as individuals and guiding them to be who they ought to. Instead, they are labeled and put in ugly corners, because they are deemed "not normal". People are just different in the end, and we should learn to embrace this, and stop this drive for conformity.
Conformity. This brings me right back to the conversation i had. This guy i knew from forever ago. Hey hey, whassup? where you at now,what are you doing?...I asked what he was up to..he told me he was helping out at an art studio and wanted to start fashion school next year. For a moment or two, i caught myself thinking..and somebody is ALLOWING your Naija ass to take this path? Why, how is it that you are not doing something serious?..and then i stopped and realized how much that train of thought conflicts with me, with the person i know i ought to be. It's been injected into my damn DNA, this mentality of study something sensible, and believe me, i understand that. I have almost had a fight with my friend, taking her mothers point of view and supporting this whole sensible agenda. Lol well that was mainly because i like to keep it objective, like to see all sides to a story and not just passionately and blindly defend what i want to see...but that's beside the point.
People are all different. We are all individuals, and in an ideal world, nobody should be made to feel like they should apologise for being who they are and doing what they do. Nobody should be forced to live a lie for fear of not blending into the crowd. Which is why i sit here feeling trapped, wanting to break free but being held down by this fear of conformity, by this idea of what ought to be done. This is why i am happy for every single person not doing the traditional thing, for every person chasing their dream and believing in themselves, in their talents, in their visions. I am proud of them, and at the same time a bit ashamed of the spineless coward i am..which is why i break free in baby steps, from neon nails to bright red lips on boring wednesdays...it's not about anybody else..it's about testing, and then escaping these invisible boundaries of conformity...
I am thankful for zee Internetttt lol..because it keeps me occupied and entertained and educated and and...yeaa
I am thankful for Petrilude..cuz he's the coolest youtube makeup guru..and the sexiest person i've ever seen in drag..and and..he's just lovely!
I am thankful for Ugly Betty and and Entourage and Scrubs and all the series that have made me smile from ear to ear this week..Ari Gold made me literally LOL all through!
I am thankful for literature! I've chomped my way through three novels this week...It's lovely!
I am thankful for friends..old and new and purely coincidental ^_^
I am thankful for pleasant people...somehow, the ones that crossed my path today outnumbered any grumpy people..heh! even that chick from year two that supposedly has bitch juice running through her veins was a sweetheart to me today...^_^
I am thankful for being understood..Like Vika and i were saying today..i really do not require for the whole world to get me, i do not need everybody's love, no matter how nice it may be..all i need is to know that one person understands, and truly gives a shit...Thankfully, they are more than one..and that is a huge blessing in itself!
I am thankful for high heels!...even if they are the one thing that could make me to concede that guys are more intelligent than us. What sort of person that is claiming sanity would do that to themselves? ha..us..because heels are sexxxaaay :P and yes, we do feel like superwoman running in stilettos..you think say na beans?
I am thankful that it's finally, FINALLY spring! no snow on the pavements and it's warm enough that i can wear my aforementioned high heels and loose the turtle necks...aaaaaaah freedom!...cannot wait for summer!
I am thankful...that there is this deluded confidence at loose somewhere inside me that remains unfazed by the fact that my coursework is due next wednesday..it's there formin badguy as per...chhhhhiiiiil boo, nottin to get yourself in a huff about...and somehow, i listen to this deranged thing..*sigh*
I am thankful for laughter!
I am thankful for friendship
I am thankful for some of my classmates..LOL i have to be honest nau!
I am thankful for sportssss! and by sports i mean Football, Boxing and er..Tennis..most other things are incredibly gay, Period. Ah wait, basketball is fun too...lolz
I am thankful for individuality...whether you show it be refusing to be anybody but you, sticking to odd opinions, dyeing your hair oompa loompa orange...be an individual, don't strive to be a bloody copy!* oooh remembered sermon! off to type...phew, all typed!
I am thankful for nailpolish!
I am thankful for inspiration
I am thankful for water! gattdemit i am dehydrated right now!
I am thankful for evening..for night...
I am thankful for sleep!!!
I am thankful for tact and diplomacy...they come in very handy when saying no to an apparently serious proposal..i learned my lesson from the fight of catastrophic proportions i had with my best friend on my birthday in '07 :P
I am thankful for family and the love they have for me!
I am thankful for food...grrr that's some serious love/hate lol
I am thankful for my sisters..amazing pair!
I am thankful for..cats? lol had a really interesting conversation this morning :D
I am thankful for smiles...you'd be surprised how you can literally confuse someone into getting your way with a well timed smile :P
I am thankful for the french braid..lol Lifesaver!
I am thankful that...lol that my issues only make me appreciate other people more..so i can't complain
I am thankful for the nasty people in my life...lol they keep you from under appreciating the wonderful ones
I am thankful for S..that i can talk to him..sounds simple enough..i've been unfortunate to know otherwise...which is why i am MEGA thankful for this!
I am thankful for S's jokes, cuz they get me everytime..lol laughing out loud and grinning from ear to ear from the sheer cuteness of them!
I am thankful for every day...because every day is an adventure
I am thankful for people who just don't send...lol because us chickens tap confidence from them..which is ironic, seeing as i think i'm one of the chickens and yet i'm one of the most out there people i know right now..go figure :P
I am thankful for learning
I am thankful for knowledge
I am thankful for wisdom
I am thankful for Purity of...mind
I am thankful for daydreams :P
I am thankful for Google! what would i be without google? i could totally get an honorary Ph.D in Google use meynnn...lookin for something? i WILL find it..i am relentless
I am thankful for poetry
I am thankful for indifference...believe me, it is an emotion worth having. Not to use as your default emotion, but to apply where necessary. Lots of people get into all sorts of trouble by caring too much about things they shouldn't have given a shit about..i'm just saying
I am thankful for maturity...and confidence and...lol shh i am not listing qualities that make a guy hawwwt beyond comprehension :P
I am thankful for..grrr..i have never been this dehydrated! brb..back..mouth feels like the Sahara..I am thankful for beautiful people...Artwork!
I am thankful for life...
I am thankful that tomoz is Friday..even if i heard some deluded rumour about us having classes on Saturday? abi dem mad?
I am thankful!
Have a good one. X
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