Thankful Thursday: For Testimonies.

Today is one of those days. One of those Thursdays that i am torn between unconditional Thankfulness, and confusion over the way things in life turn out.

I am thankful for so many things, and at the same time, there are things that happen that make me want to bury my head ostrich style and not face them. I grow numb and am unable to confront or make sense of the situation. I am not boasting of this, i am just stating how they are.

I am thankful for God, and i am thankful for life, and i am thankful for prayer and i am thankful for all the testimonies, personal and recorded that prove that He is there, and He is able to move mountains.

It's this very truth that makes it all the more painful when situations test and seemingly contradict that which your faith is built on. When faith and prayer and God moving seem to be the very things that remain impassive in the face of your calling on them.

P has tremendous faith. Faith that i even begin to hope to match. In the face of adversity, of questions, she does not waver in her declaration that God is able. I get hurt and throw tantrums and refuse to deal. Her faith has refused to allow me do this, even when i am on the verge of losing it and hurling questions and accusations skyward.

Surely our testimonies are not in vain? The prayers we believe in and the proof we have that they are heard and answered are also not in vain? Can faith and preseverance and prayer and love actually go ahead and amount to exactly nothing but pain?

I am one to turn cynical and bitter. I get over it eventually, but i am slow to trust and it burns deep when i place all of my trust, shamelessly in what i belive in...and it falls through. It cuts right through everything i am and healing is slow coming.

God is not a liar. God is not wicked to encourage us only to let us down. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He confirms His word. We believe this word and we turn to it for guidance and encouragement. All that we are in Him is based on His testimony. If then, this all comes to naught...shaken and overturned will not come close to describing my spirit and my faith.

If not for any reason other than honesty, our prayers should be heard on this, they should make a difference...if not...what is the point of it all, really?

She deserves a miracle. We don't earn this or that from God, but she DESERVES this miracle.

And in due time, we too will add our own testimony to the flabbergasting works that God has done.

Habakkyk 3:2

Lord, I have heard of your fame;
    I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord.
Repeat them in our day,
    in our time make them known;
    in wrath remember mercy.


He could not have shown me this only to mock me. He is not an evil God. He cannot possibly find pleasure in picking at our wounds, at the spots He knows are our weakest. Encouragement makes no sense if its only purpose is to slam us harder against the ground when we land.

My faith will not waver, and the end is only when He says. He is the Alpha and Omega and creator of everything. Nothing is beyond Him or impossible. There are no "that was then" and "this is now" about it. He doesn't change His nature because our concept of time has progressed from the moments we have as the testimony of His works.

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for faith

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for miracles

I am thankful for encouragement

I am thankful for peace

I am thankful for grace

I am thankful for prayer

I am thankful for persistence

I am thankful that "impossible" is not a concept of any relevance where God is concerned

I am thankful that He is faithful

I am thankful that He loves us

I am thankful that He is just

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for blessings

I am thankful for guidance

I am thankful.