Thankful Thursday: It starts with you..fix you.

This is..a nice change in typing the TT..at home, my sisters lappy, watching fresh prince and happy out of my mind after watching the trailer for Feathered Dreams..go see it..i am so proud of my friends dem ;P lemme extend the famzing zone small :P

A couple of days ago, the Quackster and I were having a conversation when I realized I had gone off on a tangent, that was a topic in itself…as always, my intentions are to make it as compact as possible..but we’ll see where it leads…

I will start with myself and say that often times, I catch myself wandering off with the thought pattern that hmm when I get married, somehow, things will be okay then. I think a lot of people (girls especially) walk about thinking this, having this fantasy, and it’s not necessarily conscious…it’s wanting it so much on some level….so we go ahead, throw ourselves into making this come to life, because..when it does..life is going to get that much easier, right?

It probably even starts off when we (speaking for girls) go…hmm, I just need a man, then it will be better…then that doesn’t seem to be doing the trick so they think..well, if I get him to commit and get married, then that would make it okay..i’ll be a married woman, and that status..then you get married…and then marriage isn’t the magic fix-it-all you hoped it will be…so people go ahead and legit have kids in the hope (and I’ve heard this one, real time) that it will help make them closer….and on and on the cycle goes and people keep chasing the status that will fix them, that will make their lives finally fall together..and it keeps being elusive…

That brings me to this…fix yourself first. God is enough for you. He is all you need to complete whatever parts of you you feel are missing. Do not make other people into crutches, do not look to partners as mr and miss fix-its..it is unfair to them, and apart from that, useless to you and will not a healthy relationship bring about.

In one Tyler Perry stage play, Madea spoke about people looking for partners when they haven’t sorted themselves out. What do you want to do with another human being when you don’t even have yourself figured out..

NOW, I’m not saying that you should stay in isolation until you have it all figured out, because that is not possible. Other people are there in our lives because they help us grow in so many ways, we help them the same way…BUT, the problem is in placing the responsibility on them, and skipping the part where YOU work on YOURSELF.

YOU are where it starts. A complete and healthy YOU is what makes a good better half/partner, a good parent, a good friend. Don’t go into relationships thinking that they owe you to make your life fall into place, don’t chase those external things, material and immaterial that you feel will be “IT” and from then it will get so much easier..because it won’t…that’s life..it’s not a tragic thing..we keep working, we keep living, every day has its own challenges..that’s beautiful…

Our pastor says it often, how people have this mindframe where there’s this target they are working towards where they feel happiness is, after which they can heave that final sigh of relief..and they keep on keeping on, target after target, thinking okay, maybe it’s this next one..graduate college, okay,get a job, okay, find someone, okay, get married, okay if only I got this promotion, okay If only I had a kid…and on and on…it’s not bad to have targets and goals..but don’t confuse them with your source of happiness.

Work on you and your relationship with God, and He will fill all the holes and straighten out all the wonky bits..i promise that…God is enough and all you need…He will fill you up with Himself and give you what to share with others..surely that is lovlier than hanging your broken self over anyone who crosses your path and demanding they heal you..when God does that perfectly….

It starts with you.

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for God

I am thankful for my relationship with Him

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for His faithfulness

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for friends

I am thankful for surprises :D

I am thankful for His thoughtfulness

I am thankful for patience

I am thankful for forgiveness

I am thankful for understanding

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for DVDs :P Fresh Prince!!!

I am thankful for food

I am thankful…for waiting

I am thankful for His perfect plan

I am thankful for the Holy Spirit

I am thankful for His word

I am thankful for prayer

I am thankful that He protects and keeps my family

I am thankful for the amazing people in my life

I am thankful that He is my rock, my fortress

I am thankful for every breath

I am thankful for books

I am thankful for this journey I’m on

I am thankful for the signs

I am thankful that HE is GOD and greater than everything

I am thankful for His unending love

I am thankful!