The awful thing about guilt, is that nothing productive comes out of it. Nothing at all..you just wallow in your guilt until it's around your eyeballs and you're tryna remember how exactly you got in so deep. Guilt is what keeps me from getting back on the God track, Guilt is what has kept me from praying for so long that i can't really remember anymore...Sure, i give Him the heads up everyday, mostly accompanied by an ironic smile and a side order of some more guilt..cuz i won't lie, i'm stuck in this rut that is major, and instead of getting out one of the millions of ties each day He offers me the opportunity, i'm like...nah, i'm too messed up to act all Sunshine right now, i can't be all fake like that...
But that's absurd, yes? Logically, i tell myself that you cannot screw up so much that He's like, gerraway you...i know this...but i don't want to get all emotional like, i'm getting on track and then i do sumn stupid an hour later...it's complicated, i hate making promises that i have a huge chance of breaking...so i figure, don't make the promise at all so your Guilt doesn't have fodder...
Guilt is terrible meyn, just creates this force field around you and moving on...Sure, acknowledge your wrong doing, for a moment, take notes, then fuggedabout it in the words of Donnie Brasco, fuggedabout it and move on without looking back...Yup, i could write volumes...it's the putting into practice bit that gets tricky...It's all good...the bright side is that It's All In Your Head..and that means that there is hope yet...
And then we break out the PomPoms...you do need that spurt of optimism to delude yourself into the first steps, that spurt of energy that makes you let go of the guilt that's messing with your game plan...So shamelessly break out the PomPoms and cheer yourself on!
So Basically...lol i've been wanting to say that all day...So basically,
I am thankful for Life..wouldn't be doing much thinking if i didn't have it eh?
I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for this rut i'm in because i firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and no matter what, there is an important lesson to be learned..Now if only my dumb self can learn it so we can all move right on..
I am thankful for books
I am thankful for directions
I am thankful for second, third, and millionth chances
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for His love
I am thankful for His patience
I am thankful for my friends
I am thankful for the little things He does that seem like nothing at the moment, and then a while on, you're like WHOA!
I am thankful for writing
I am thankful for Writers
I am thankful for inspiration
I am thankful for photoblogs
I am thankful for art
I am thankful for talented people
I am thankful for surprises
I am thankful for simplicity
I am thankful for things that are uncomplicated
I am thankful for clarity of thought
I am thankful for epiphanies
I am thankful for Olive oil :P ish does wonders!
I am thankful for The Olive Garden...which is one book that makes me more happy on the inside than i can tell
I am thankful for hope
I am thankful for the future, and the endless, unpredictable possibilities it holds
I am thankful for kismet
I am thankful for language
I am thankful for smiles...someone did say it's the shortest distance/the bridge between two hearts? lol i have seen simple smiles work wonders...testimony here!
I am thankful for foood! and food blogs and and food bloggers
I am thankful for genuine people, warm people, kind people, people with no agenda and no talent at plotting and scheming
I am thankful for the amazing people that i can talk to, like really talk to..and they are there for me each and every time, and may not even know how truly i love them
I am thankful for people with no issues and hangups, people who simply don't judge...That might be the single most amazing quality a person can have
I am thankful for those random moments that happen that open up your heart and mind..those unconventional times...I love those! recent one..That homeless guy musing about my nailpolish then bumming a stick off me...i love people!
I am thankful for..Psychology..which is what i really ought to be doing..people fascinate me...and i want to help..i really do!
I am thankful for Political Theory talks with the gramps...he is the amazingest person ever! we go for hours and i don't even notice..
I am thankful for who i am...even if i keep forgetting
I am thankful for Spring and all the beauty about
I am thankful for solitude
I am thankful for diversity
I am thankful for variety
I am thankful for each and every day...because it means i get another chance...which i've been neglecting, but that's beside the point...
I am thankful for intelligence
I am thankful for individuality...yea, so sometimes i live vicariously..just waiting for my confidence to mature..hush!
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for support
I am thankful for beauty
I am thankful for Art..have i mentioned this?
I am thankful for Pidgin!!! like, seriously.
I am thankful for being Nigerian...and Ukrainian too..God save these countries meyn, cuz their citizens are on a mission to murder them with their greed and absence of vision of any sort
I am thankful that i'm me..and messed up as i might be..not everyone hates me :P *gasp*
I am thankful..that this..this whatever this is..is temporary....
Be good, and stay out of ruts...not fun..not fun at all....
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