Thankful Thursday: Humanity playing catchup

I am uninspired. I am empty. I am fulfilling a task. It hurts. This is everything unlike the picture in my head. I have pushed Him away out of sheer laziness to the point where i can't even ask for His help. Won't be fair, i don't deserve it. This is an isolated observation of this one part of The Way Things Are, because it's not like we're feuding or anything.

Just that this is not the place where i see myself spiritually, ideally. Apart from an effort, i guess i just need time.. but simultaneously this upsets be because if inspiration comes upon me as a phase independent of my own will, then why should i take blame when it just as independently leaves? Was pondering morality the other day. This complex of things we consider right or wrong and thren spend our lives in guilt and conflict because we fall short of them? Karma is all well and nice, but what if there is no judgement? It is what it is and you face consequences here and now? *sigh* I have no energy...Again i'm at this place, treading water, unsure if the direction i've chosen to swim is the right one afterall...need some conviction before i stop wearing silk with linen...

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for humour

I am thankful for meaning

I am thankful for Family

I am thankful for my boyfriend, for us...We mean the world to me

I am thankful for writers

I am thankful for art, for beauty

I am thankful for kindess

I am thankful for Him

I am thankful for Him making me just the way i am...

I am thankful for my Godmother and V and Eat, Pray, Love

I am thankful for wanting things...the worst feeling in the world next to loneliness is not wanting anything. No dreams, no drive, no aspirations and no hopes...

I am thankful for language

I am thankful that my week is overrr! no uni tomo! whatwhat!

I am thankful for conversations

I am thankful for puns...oh him and i? we could go all night long *straight face*

I am thankful for people who get things the same way...Dr. Dee is an angelface!

I am thankful for....shoesssss!!! Dear Santa...yes, about those Louboutins...

I am thankful for friends

I am thankful for food...grams has finished me today

I am thankful for being thankful

I am thankful for smiles

I am thankful for sleep

I am thankful for baths...like the one i'm about to have

I am thankful for non irritating people

I am thankful for learning.....helllooo sewing!

I am thankful for me nailssss :D they make me happy and A is a darling

I am thankful for uni

I am thankful that he makes me happier than i've ever been

I am thankful that he is perfect in every -ally that you can think of....intellectually, physically...s..i shall leave it to your imaginations...

I am thankful for Him....i am...even if i haven't vibed with Him in a min...i miss Him...

I am Thankful!