Thankful Thrusday: Of masks and acceptance...

One of those standby themes that have been lying at the back of my mind. Really quick through it though... Cutting through all the preamble i could write, i'll make this conclusion...we wear masks of ways we think we ought to be, because...it is easier to face rejection of an act than it is to face rejection of yourself. Does that even make sense? It's like, we can say..okay that rejection hurt, but ulitmately it wasn't a rejection of me after i had bared myself to scrutiny...we still feel like ha! me is safe, all protected under all these layers...of whatever it is we wrap ourselves in. Lol..ultimately...we want to be liked...we even lie to ourselves, ignoring things we don't care much for, making arguments for our faults...we want to be liked...so we watch and play out our lives like chess...trying oh so hard to be in control, to be "right"..in who's opinion anyways?

Long story short o!...it is a HUGE step to take that step where you take off your mask before another person, lay belly up like a puppy and hope to God they don't reject who you are...

okaaayyy...ramble over

I am thankful for God....even more when i am messing up...somehow, Him being there when you least deserve it is the greatest proof of....whatever it is it proves. Being "good" and getting rewarded....isn't that what conditional is?!...

Slight detour..while on this issue of God oh...just pondering...people be feelin funky and screaming "we are made in His image"...then following it up with "we are imperfect sinners who fall short of His glory"...so riddle me this...God is imperfect? or we are afterall perfect? and as such straddled with all the responsibility of perfection, and none of this nonsense of "i'm only human"... Humanity is on a mission to refuse responsibility for anything....and when you point out this apparent perfection we ought to have, they tell you Adam sinned and wrecked that...oh...so then you are no longer in anybody's image?... Again Scott makes sense...we are supposed to suck it up and realize that we are headed for perfection, through awareness and discipline..but it's easier to claim human and let God handle that. The Alpha and the Omega...He is the beginning..and we are to evolve to the end...lol...i am rambling..but there is a method to this madness...and personal POV? i've already said i believe the soul that strives to create, to express, to improve...that is the image of God in which anybody is made....

where that came from, i don't know...in bits and pieces, but sense is in there somewhere...

I am thankful for my sisters!!! Happy Birthday Princess today!! heehee she's 14 on the 14th...awon bix skelz! she is a sweetheart and i am blessed to have her...and Angel toooo!!!! would give anything to be with them right about now....

I am thankful for my mom. For the three months we got to spend together, her month here, every moment, all the gisting, chopping, laughing, crying....i am thankful! i am thakful she got home safe...and that i have her....

I am thankful for my father...lol dude be earnin brownie points left and right

I am thankful for uni....it's a formality we must pass....

I am thankful for life

I am thankful that i factually have no problems

I am thankful for books

I am thankful for art

I am thankful for music!!! been shakin my bonbon all day! yay 4shared!

I am thankful for friends!!! like joke like play Dee waltzed into my life...and she is a gift! wallahi..i'm not one to have had bff's and things...but she is special..we GET each other, we see things in the same way, she's a beautiful person, always tryna help somebody and wouldn't hurt a fly..she's beautiful!! Dr. Dee lol! and we can gisttttttttt lol.....love is worrying two of us ^_^

I am thankful for love....in the words of that song..i believe that love will save this world..why can't everybody just listen to Jesus and love?! i am on cloud 9...

I am thankful for S!!!! oh my God am i thankful for S...he is the bestester, he is the kindester, intelligentester, he is the thoughtfulester, sweetester, caringester, cutester, hottester, funniester boyfriend in the universe and i wake up every morning happy as a bird with a french fry because he's in my life...

I am thankful for Love...like...love love...i might have thought i knew what the hell it was before..i've realized my mistake...cuz when you love, when you're in love...there is no mistaking it and it's like nothing else...i Love S...i love that he's my first love...and only and and last....shhhhhhhh *blushing like a madwoman* okayyy!

I am thankful for trust...won't lie..have moments where i get this panic and wonder what on earth it is that he likes about me that he's with me...but then he is...and he chooses to be..that's all that matters...

I am thankful for friends :) Nadiush!!!! Daffi....they know when to call, text, or just be themselves and lift me out of gloominess....Daff...still suspectin her o! na winsh to know when to hola like that!

I am thankful for genuine people

I am thankful for kindness

I am thankful for PDA :P we just don't care_ John Legend talk am o!

I am thankful for poetry

I am thankful for expression

I am thankful for communication

I am thankful for each day

I am thankful for our relationship...each and every day, moment, everything...

I am thankful for blissful coincidences..lol when things just happen on point..like the right song coming on on the radio...

I am thankful for my godmother, for V...i love good people!

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for fooood!

I am thankful for every happy memory i have

I am thankful for the Internet....access to sooo much info!

I am thankful for Knowledge

I am thankful for whatever it is that guides us in this search for knowledge....the slightly freaky way in which i read and watch things and exactly the right time i need to..like...a book will lie about for literal years....and then something moves me to read it, even if i've never gotten past the first page before, then i happen to watch a movie/doc..which wouldn't have made sense without the book and so forth...

I am thankful for the grandparents....i dunno how to hold a grudge..i don't know how! :'(

I am thankful for when time goes by fast...and then slows down..according to my needs, you know...

I am thankful for the little things

I am thankful for my boyfriend o! every moment of every day....think about him and BAM! i am delirious and smiling and it's butterflies and and....lol God looked at me...and decided to stone me blessing....

I am thankful for the cafe lady at my uni!!! she's delightful! and oh so kind ^_^

I am thankful for languages

I am thankful for honesty and openneness

I am thankful!!!!!!!