For who He is, and that alone.

O Lord,
If tomorrow on Judgment Day
You send me to Hell,
I will tell such a secret
That Hell will race from me
Until it is a thousand years away.

O Lord,
Whatever share of this world
You could give to me,
Give it to Your enemies;
Whatever share of the next world
You want to give to me,
Give it to Your friends.
You are enough for me.

O Lord,
If I worship You
From fear of Hell, burn me in Hell.

O Lord,
If I worship You
From hope of Paradise, bar me from its gates.

But if I worship You for Yourself alone
Then grace me forever the splendor of Your Face.

Rabi´a al-Adawiyya, translation by Andrew Harvey and Eryk Hanut - 'Perfume of the Desert'

I saw this poem today, and my soul did a little dance...for there is no feeling more pleasant than seeing the reflection of your most intimate thoughts...(in poems, in people, in paintings, in songs, in nature or in books or in...the list is endless..)

I have spent so many years walking around with this revelation, this all encompassing knowledge of the fact that this is my stance on the subject, and yet never able to put it into words..so i am Thankful that this stumbled across my path..God pays attention to the details, doesn't he?..It's a Sufi poem...and i am thankful for that too...discovering these Sufi poems have lifted one veil of ignorance and prejudice from my eyes...Sufis rock!..and to think i assumed....nah, it's too shameful to admit how i'd have brushed it off...do some research..shining light on something you were ignorant/prejudiced about before is a very uplifting experience...

And now to the point...it goes roughly like this. I believe in God beyond a doubt. I pray to Him, i speak to Him, He speaks to me and He is very much a part of my life. Not meaning to sound anyhow, i believe i have my own unique relationship with Him, and i..i do not believe in Him with any motives or agenda whatsoever. I type a Thankful Thursday every week, not because i had plans to get all that i got, but because i am thankful for getting what i do not deserve or expect. That does sound a bit confusing, seeing how i pray for my friends and family and myself and do get round to asking for things..but that, as i hope is understood, is different. Theres a difference in asking being the defining point of the relationship, and asking as part of a much bigger part of the relationship, and not the basis of it...er..hope that makes sense? I also do not believe or worship Him because i fear eternal damnation. True words. Thats me. If "the world ends tomorrow" and come Judgement time, my lot is hell? i'll accept it with a shrug, i must have gone wrong somewhere. If heaven is my lot, then i'd honestly be pleasantly surprised, because i know that i cannot possibly have fulfilled all the conditions..but thats where the theory of grace comes in, doesn't it? That, however, is a whole other discussion.

What i'm saying is this : I Believe in Him, one day at a time. I thank and Praise Him, because of who He is. I will not stop because i didn't get a great big bright pink elephant today, and i will not stop because i won the lottery. All of those are add ons, not the real deal. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all else will be added on to you. It doesn't say seek ye first the Kingdom of God SO THAT you can GET STUFF...the point is your relationship with God, and just like any relationship, it gets shallow once it gets materialistic.

And this, this is what i believe faith should be based on. If we can demand it of our fellow man, why can't God demand it of us? That we love Him for who He is, and not the stuff He can get us. So, strip me of everything, and i'll keep on believing in Him and loving Him and Thanking Him..because even if i have nothing, i have Life..and that is already more than some have, and even when life is taken from me? I'll be thankful that i get to see whats beyond..."In death, all Life's questions are answered"...nothing will break me, nothing will stop me, nothing will rain on my parade,and nothing will take away my optimism and faith.Nothing. The fact that i am, is more than enough proof that He is.

But if I worship You for Yourself alone
Then grace me forever the splendor of Your Face.

And this is all i pray....and again, this Rabi chick :P speaks my mind.. even if i am left completely alone...I will always have Him..and that is more than enough.

1. Brothers, my peace is in my aloneness.

My Beloved is alone with me there, always.
I have found nothing in all the worlds
That could match His love,
This love that harrows the sands of my desert.
If I come to die of desire
And my Beloved is still not satisfied,
I would live in eternal despair.

To abandon all that He has fashioned
And hold in the palm of my hand
Certain proof that He loves me---
That is the name and the goal of my search.

Rabi´a al-Adawiyya, translation by Andrew Harvey and Eryk Hanut - 'Perfume of the Desert'

Phew...that make any sense? I sincerely hope it did..