So half falling asleep sometime around 11am today, this thought comes to me about how the question of "How God Is" has been a stumbling block to me quite a number of times in the past, and truthfully, sometimes it still comes up and it makes me hyperventilate and is a seed of doubt that tries to turn me away..Thank God now i'm older and wiser and know to turn to Him for shelter from that sort of foolish temptation and so i run to Him and somehow we work it out..
So anyway, back to the way it used to be a problem to me. It would be a problem in the sense that i'd think..okay, if i pin down The Nature of God, i'd know how to BE in a relationship with Him further along the journey. It used to frustrate me to no end that (what i now realize as based on MY mood) one day, He's my buddy and my best friend, and then the next you read something and go...wait, what if i have it all wrong...what if He's all severe and not so down for a laugh..am i being disrespectful? So then this distances comes up because i'm sensing Him as The God That Smites and goes to war and all of that...and each time that switch happened, i'd be mad frustrated and a lot of the time it would leave me in tears and open up the gates of the temptation that is "What if all this is just a great big lie"...and that is a very dangerous precipice to be at...like, don't go there...if you find yourself there, it is a lie..turn, and RUN.
Over time, i think i've gotten better at understanding and handling this, but sometimes the little girl in me is at the forefront and i'm like? God, could you PLEASE just tell me the WAY You are so i know how to be with YOU...
Then you think about it...it's a bit selfish, isn't it? To want God to paint Himself in one colour for you. The God that created everything, that knows everything...to be One way. So...i was asking Him to tell me that He's a fiend, or He's a bunny, basically.
I do believe at some point or the other you have come across those charts that have the names of God. The bible is not only full of just the names of God, but has titles that describe the capacities in which God IS...He is the Father, the Healer, The Protector, the Comforter, in fact..lemme just Google :
Elohay Kedem - God of the Beginning: (Deuteronomy 33:27). Elohay Mishpat - God Of Justice: (Isaiah 30:18). Elohay Selichot - God Of Forgiveness: (Nehemiah 9:17). Elohay Marom - God Of Heights: (Micah 6:6). Elohay Mikarov - God Who Is Near: (Jeremiah 23:23). Elohay Mauzi - God Of My Strength: (Psalm 43:2).Elohay Tehilati - God Of My Praise: (Psalm 109:1). Elohay Yishi - God Of My Salvation: (Psalm 18:46). Elohim Kedoshim - Holy God: (Leviticus 19:2, Joshua 24:19). Elohim Chaiyim - Living God: (Jeremiah 10:10).Elohay Elohim - God Of Gods: (Deuteronomy 10:17).
El HaNe'eman - The Faithful God: (Deuteronomy 7:9). El HaGadol - The Great God: (Deuteronomy 10:17). El HaKadosh - The Holy God: (Isaiah 5:16). El Yisrael - The God Of Israel: (Psalm 68:35). El HaShamayim - The God Of The Heavens: (Psalm 136:26). El De'ot - The God Of Knowledge: (1 Samuel 2:3). El Emet - The God Of Truth: (Psalm 31:6). El Yeshuati - The God Of My Salvation: (Isaiah 12:2). El Elyon - The Most High God: (Genesis 14:18). Immanu El - God Is With Us: (Isaiah 7:14). El Olam - The God Of Eternity (Genesis 21:33). El Echad - The One God: (Malachi 2:10). "ELAH" is another name for God, used about 70 times in the Old Testament. Again, when combined with other words, we see different attributes of God. Some examples: Elah Yerush'lem - God of Jerusalem: (Ezra 7:19). Elah Yisrael - God of Israel: (Ezra 5:1). Elah Sh'maya - God of Heaven: (Ezra 7:23). Elah Sh'maya V'Arah - God of Heaven and Earth: (Ezra 5:11).
And also, I AM. He IS. The way He is, all encompassing.
What it boils down to is this; speaking for myself, i know that there are times when i view God subjectively, based on MY own mood or state of mind at the time. Recognizing this isn't the way to go, i start searching for the Objective God. This is where i make my huge mistake and look for One Way in which He ought to be...and this simply isn't possible or true in any way...God Is. Avoiding the subjective view of God would be to avoid seeing One of the many Sides to Him simply because it is convenient for you at the time.
As much as i hate drawing parallels between God and man to avoid squeezing Him into human boxes, i have to point out that if we, as humans were asked to give a one word description to ourselves, we won't be able to, because it just wouldn't be true. Based on situations we can be called upon to demonstrate our compassion, at another time, the situation calls for us to be more reserved or even make decisions that seem mean, but have as their motivation The Right Thing.
We can only call upon character traits that we possess. Some have more of one sort than the other and maybe this is what we use when we classify them as "good" or "bad". We cannot use or demonstrate what we don't have within us.
What is true of God is that no matter what side of His nature He has to demonstrate in any situation, we know that it is Right, and Perfect, and is motivated by Good, and by Love. LOL i know how this sounds..even now, if i saw someone else write it, i cannot promise that my eyes wouldn't have rolled..but hey..
What i know is that God loves me...and in those moments where i (finally!) just chill and "be" in His presence, with my mouth sealed shut...i can feel the Love, i can feel His jokes, i can feel Him smile and i;m just overwhelmed by it...so i know that no matter what side of Him i may be seeing or feeling...He is there, and He loves me..above all...that rocks my world.
I am thankful for Life
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for His presence
I am thankful for His faithfulness....dooooood! can you imagine i'm here? looking at my past history of my walk with Him...it's a big deal...This January i prayed that no matter what, He shouldn't let me go this time...and He is faithful..the joy is indescribable
I am thankful for my family...i really don't need much when i'm with them...yes, love just wraps all around you
I am thankful for laughter...my sisters and i laugh ourselves into hysterics on the daily!
I am thankful for my sisters...they are just awesome...so intelligent, so compassionate, so uber funny, so kind and supportive...:D
I am thankful for food! see the joy i get from cooking eh! and feeding my babiesss :P
I am thankful for my friends...i have some truly amazing ones..especially in moments when i am difficult, and they understand me and my quirks and don't stay mad or upset or take it personal
I am thankful for prayer...for more than just being able to talk, but for being able to listen..and as i recently discovered, feel. Prayer has gone 3D people!
I am thankful for my parents, for my grandparents..
I am thankful for care
I am thankful for thoughtfulness
am thankful for lessons learned, lessons being learned...
I am thankful for lessons learned through relationships..every friendship, every acquaintanceship sef, leads you somewhere, makes you grow..got a book on this recently too..i know how it has been in my life and can't wait to read it! will get back with a review of it :P
I am thankful for books! and for Condios bookstore in PHC...they always have books that feed the soul..God bless that lady mahn! She's doing a blessed service
I am thankful for Lady P..i am thankful that God placed her in my life because her friendship is awesome! :D
I am thankful for unlikely pairings
I am thankful for signs
I am thankful for Understanding
I am thankful for wisdom
I am thankful for growth
I am thankful for kindness
I am thankful for patience
I am thankful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Thankful Thursday: Keepin' it real...
I legit almost totally forgot that today was thursday and i had to type this..i came online to print out my devos and the flicker of a reminder somewhere in my head just went off..so yay that!
Of course, the progression of that was me realizing that while it's all good and well to have remembered, i have no topic and no theme...
Not to worry though...i thought of what struck me i recent times, and i really didn't have to look far. You see only yesterday, God somehow used a Jon Acuff post (again!) to really touch me...for the past week or two, i've felt slightly apart from God..not in the way it gets when it's bad and i all out drift away..but just knowing that i could do better, but still somehow end up putting off God time and not spending enough time in His presence and limiting it to devotional times in the morning and evening..like, not enough prayer, not enough listening, not enough meditating..and that eats at me somewhat and it kinda makes me feel guilty...
And then came the post...(it's on Stuff Christians Like, btw, about typos in the Bible)..Jon uses Proverbs24:16 as illustration, and it says :Proverbs 24:16 “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.”
Then he used this phrase that really clicked with the mood i was in..he said something about how we rate our righteousness in terms of pre being saved and post being saved and how we expect of ourselves that we should be perfect and not fall, and falling is a shameful thing to let happen...okay, those were not his words..but it's kinda the point, and it really hit home with me..and the verse says it clear as anything, that though the righteous man falls...it doesn't say "if maybe impossibly"...That one is righteous does not mean one is fall proof..it is that we get up each and every time and continue what we have started, and God will see you through it..
The second part of what really touched me about the entire post was that Jon keeps it real. Very often, in line with the demands we put on ourselves to be perfect, we project that same image to the world, convincing ourselves that the world expects it of us. Even when we slip up, we put our big girl and boy pants on, put on a brave face and look like we have it together...and then we look at each other, and think that everyone has it together...and enter major panic mode because we think we are shams and we are faking it and we can never never truly hold it together...but it's all a lie and an illusion...
It's always a huge relief when Christians share the real stuff, the struggles, the challenges. Not because we want to stare with mouths wide open and enjoy a spectacle, but because we are all going through the same things, and knowing that you are not the solitary loser is sometimes all the encouragement you need. Sometimes we need to know that everybody, no matter how "together" they seem to have it, also go through the struggles, and you facing a particular challenge does not mean that you're bad or a weak christian or anything of the sort....So keep it real..it's not about running about bemoaning your existence to all who cross your path..it's just knowing when to say look...i'm not in a righteous bubble..there is no holiness shield that keeps problems clean away from me...we all face them the same, we all turn to God and Him alone to see us through our struggles...
*i might come back and edit..but mahn i gotta run!
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for my friends
I am thankful for family
I am thankful for food, for cooking...my joy currently knows very few bounds
I am thankful for protection
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for grace
I am thankful for my relationship with God
I am thankful for Prayer
I am thankful!!
Of course, the progression of that was me realizing that while it's all good and well to have remembered, i have no topic and no theme...
Not to worry though...i thought of what struck me i recent times, and i really didn't have to look far. You see only yesterday, God somehow used a Jon Acuff post (again!) to really touch me...for the past week or two, i've felt slightly apart from God..not in the way it gets when it's bad and i all out drift away..but just knowing that i could do better, but still somehow end up putting off God time and not spending enough time in His presence and limiting it to devotional times in the morning and evening..like, not enough prayer, not enough listening, not enough meditating..and that eats at me somewhat and it kinda makes me feel guilty...
And then came the post...(it's on Stuff Christians Like, btw, about typos in the Bible)..Jon uses Proverbs24:16 as illustration, and it says :Proverbs 24:16 “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.”
Then he used this phrase that really clicked with the mood i was in..he said something about how we rate our righteousness in terms of pre being saved and post being saved and how we expect of ourselves that we should be perfect and not fall, and falling is a shameful thing to let happen...okay, those were not his words..but it's kinda the point, and it really hit home with me..and the verse says it clear as anything, that though the righteous man falls...it doesn't say "if maybe impossibly"...That one is righteous does not mean one is fall proof..it is that we get up each and every time and continue what we have started, and God will see you through it..
The second part of what really touched me about the entire post was that Jon keeps it real. Very often, in line with the demands we put on ourselves to be perfect, we project that same image to the world, convincing ourselves that the world expects it of us. Even when we slip up, we put our big girl and boy pants on, put on a brave face and look like we have it together...and then we look at each other, and think that everyone has it together...and enter major panic mode because we think we are shams and we are faking it and we can never never truly hold it together...but it's all a lie and an illusion...
It's always a huge relief when Christians share the real stuff, the struggles, the challenges. Not because we want to stare with mouths wide open and enjoy a spectacle, but because we are all going through the same things, and knowing that you are not the solitary loser is sometimes all the encouragement you need. Sometimes we need to know that everybody, no matter how "together" they seem to have it, also go through the struggles, and you facing a particular challenge does not mean that you're bad or a weak christian or anything of the sort....So keep it real..it's not about running about bemoaning your existence to all who cross your path..it's just knowing when to say look...i'm not in a righteous bubble..there is no holiness shield that keeps problems clean away from me...we all face them the same, we all turn to God and Him alone to see us through our struggles...
*i might come back and edit..but mahn i gotta run!
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for my friends
I am thankful for family
I am thankful for food, for cooking...my joy currently knows very few bounds
I am thankful for protection
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for grace
I am thankful for my relationship with God
I am thankful for Prayer
I am thankful!!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Thankful Thursday: interlude
I am thankful for life, that i have it, that it is dynamic, for friends and for family, for experiences and for growth. Life is beautiful, life is complex, and most of all, that God is there with us every step of the way, especially when we tap into the amazing recource that that is. God is always there, God is always God, whether or not we allow Him into our lives, He's always there, and we are the ones who limit ourselves by not fully entering into a relationship with Him.
Surrendering is not always the easiest thing, for some reason we are wired to want to fix things, and comin g from that sort of logic, the free for all that surrender is is something quite hard to do. Think of it..surrender calls for you to give up your cares and worries and allow someone else handle them...yet we still try to sort things out even when we give them over to Him...it's a continuous process, learning to surrender all. Like...all...not keep any standby bits somewhere in the recesses of our hearts...
Gah i'm going to be honest..this post is...not it..i'm not even sure the theme i'm trying to explore..So maybe i'll just leave it until next week...
RIP to all the people who died because of the Dana Air crash in Nigeria, and i pray God consoles and comforts their families and loved ones...
I need to come back and do a re-do of this post...maybe it's because i'm typing from M's room and we are about to go out and this is a very new turn of events as concerns my plans for today and this evening...maybe i'm not comfy, maybe i didn't get in da zone...but i had to post this..if only for my conscience
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for His revelations
I am thankful for his guidance
I am thankful for His blessings
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for His perfect plan
I am thankful for friendships
I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for my relationship with God and how He has been faithful and saved me and i'm still here
I am thankful for growth
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for understanding
I am thankful for wisdom
I am thankful that He keeps me safe
I am thankful!!!
Surrendering is not always the easiest thing, for some reason we are wired to want to fix things, and comin g from that sort of logic, the free for all that surrender is is something quite hard to do. Think of it..surrender calls for you to give up your cares and worries and allow someone else handle them...yet we still try to sort things out even when we give them over to Him...it's a continuous process, learning to surrender all. Like...all...not keep any standby bits somewhere in the recesses of our hearts...
Gah i'm going to be honest..this post is...not it..i'm not even sure the theme i'm trying to explore..So maybe i'll just leave it until next week...
RIP to all the people who died because of the Dana Air crash in Nigeria, and i pray God consoles and comforts their families and loved ones...
I need to come back and do a re-do of this post...maybe it's because i'm typing from M's room and we are about to go out and this is a very new turn of events as concerns my plans for today and this evening...maybe i'm not comfy, maybe i didn't get in da zone...but i had to post this..if only for my conscience
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for His revelations
I am thankful for his guidance
I am thankful for His blessings
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for His perfect plan
I am thankful for friendships
I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for my relationship with God and how He has been faithful and saved me and i'm still here
I am thankful for growth
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for understanding
I am thankful for wisdom
I am thankful that He keeps me safe
I am thankful!!!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Thankful Thursday: Contentment.
These Thursdays just come around so fast! It's really funny how radically different the place i'm at is every Thursday too..it feels like lifetimes apart sometimes...It just goes to show how beautiful and dynamic life is, and that whole "nothing is permanent" thing...i dunno..i don't see it as a problem..
Sure, when everything is good, at the time, we most definitely want it to continue that way because at the time, it is the epitome of what the awesomeness you have access to feels like. All that a bird in hand lark...we don't want to trade for an uncertain "better" or even worse, a "worse"..but the truth is..sometimes, bad times follow an absolutely amazing time, and you are completely annoyed at how things aren't permanent and fall into long monologues about how "good things never last" and similar pessimistic things...for some reason, it's easy to marinate in pessimism..we don't tend to complain about how...bleeeeh bad times never last! always switching up and giving way to better times :P
That bad times, too, will pass, is not the only thing that gives me hope, even more than hope, is the beauty of the bad times serving to improve us and make the good times better. I keep siting the last ten months of my life as possibly some of the best and most fruitful of recent times.
The truth is, within that time, and even now sometimes, i have gone through more pain and hurt that i thought i could bear..heck, more than a year's worth! There have been dark times, painful times where i had no clue why on earth life had to be so frustrating, been angry at God for teasing me (yeah, i know..misguided to the max :P) but that's what it felt like...
But now, standing here and looking back, i just keep thanking God..like, i could go on and on repeating the words and trying to pack what exactly i feel into them..thank God that He can see what i feel without the words. Looking back, i see how every single incident has led me to where i am, has led me to the clearer vision i am now enjoying, has led me to the understanding and peace i now have.
Like, for the first time in a long time, i am content. It's not that i don't have hopes, dreams or aspirations...it's the contentment that comes with knowing that it's all in His hands and when you come to the bridge, you'll cross it, and there is little reason to get so worked up and anxious about it now. It's the peace of knowing that whatever the challenge may be, God has your back. Like, He's got it. That is what gives me peace and calm in the middle of the storms that sometimes blow my way.
A lot of the time (very often in recent times, actually) i feel like i need to apologise for my laid back attitude...but then i realize that i'm not quite sure i'm sorry for it. It's not that i have no plans or i don't care..it's just working with the fact that i.do.not.know. We plan, and God has His plans...so MY plan is basically to be available to do HIS plan..and He has His ways of revealing that to you. The big picture of this plan is that you trust Him. For the most part, this is what you work with. That you trust Him enough to go where He leads..A lot of the time, He tells you where to go on the go...you do not get instructions in the mail 5 years prior..so i take it one day at a time, and do that bit, because i trust Him entirely to steer me to where i need to be...
So that's that basically...that my contentement is not about being lazy, or not caring about anything...it's just the peace that comes with knowing, with realizing that He has this. Like, He really does, and no matter how a situation looks or feels...it's all okay..I'm happy with where i am, i'm thankful for all that has led me here, and i'm thankful for what's in store....diiiiig?
I am thankful for Life
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for His presence in my life
I am thankful for the song "City on the hill" by Casting Crowns and also, for Jango :P
I am thankful for God's guidance each and every day
I am thankful for His conversations :P
I am thankful for prayer
I am thankful for everywhere He leads me...dood my life is like...not coincidental :P
I am thankful for my family..they are ze Best!
I am thankful for my sisters and how loving and supportive and wise and kind and good they are
I am thankful for BigBro's wife...i keep saying that she's an angel..it's like not only does she feel when to hola at me, whenever i talk to her, it's like my spirit experiences a shot of nourishment...okay that sounds...flowery but yeah..
I am thankful for my friends! old, new...side note on the new...sometimes, a lot of the time, things happen without fanfare and you don't realize that your prayer has been answered to the very last detail until a while later...especially if you're blonde like me...i prayed for friends that are godly, that would encourage me right, that would be moral support and understand me on this walk with God...i was lacking those...and you know...God has blessed me with awesooome new friends..and not even new in the technical sense of new human beings alone..but old friendships have has these whole new dimensions opened..and it's amazzzziiing!
I am thankful for faith. For real. That's one word i've seriously considered getting tatted...i cannot hype the concept enough...FAITH! it is a blessing, it is a source of strength, it is hope, it is worth it, it is beautiful!
I am thankful for understanding
I am thankful for wisdom
I am thankful for kindness
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for happiness
I am thankful for Joy
I am thankful for inspiration, for creativity
I am thankful for blessings
I am thankful for talents
I am thankful for people
I am thankful for His Spirit
I am thankful for music
I am thankful for summer days..i walked into the kitchen today at about 8pm and the sunshine/beginnings of a sunset was just breathtaking...
I am thankful for beauty..a la the above mentioned...so simple...yet it's enough to make you cry..the fragile innocent beauty of it
I am thankful for humour! i don't know what i'd do without it..and even more than just humour, is when people understand your humour..oh that is epiiiic! and you're vibing and everything...i am thankful that God has placed people that get me in my life...and a LOT of laughter ensues...and laughter...is the best!
I am thankful for this post
I am thankful for today
I am thankful for His perfect plan
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for Grace
I am thankful!!!!
Sure, when everything is good, at the time, we most definitely want it to continue that way because at the time, it is the epitome of what the awesomeness you have access to feels like. All that a bird in hand lark...we don't want to trade for an uncertain "better" or even worse, a "worse"..but the truth is..sometimes, bad times follow an absolutely amazing time, and you are completely annoyed at how things aren't permanent and fall into long monologues about how "good things never last" and similar pessimistic things...for some reason, it's easy to marinate in pessimism..we don't tend to complain about how...bleeeeh bad times never last! always switching up and giving way to better times :P
That bad times, too, will pass, is not the only thing that gives me hope, even more than hope, is the beauty of the bad times serving to improve us and make the good times better. I keep siting the last ten months of my life as possibly some of the best and most fruitful of recent times.
The truth is, within that time, and even now sometimes, i have gone through more pain and hurt that i thought i could bear..heck, more than a year's worth! There have been dark times, painful times where i had no clue why on earth life had to be so frustrating, been angry at God for teasing me (yeah, i know..misguided to the max :P) but that's what it felt like...
But now, standing here and looking back, i just keep thanking God..like, i could go on and on repeating the words and trying to pack what exactly i feel into them..thank God that He can see what i feel without the words. Looking back, i see how every single incident has led me to where i am, has led me to the clearer vision i am now enjoying, has led me to the understanding and peace i now have.
Like, for the first time in a long time, i am content. It's not that i don't have hopes, dreams or aspirations...it's the contentment that comes with knowing that it's all in His hands and when you come to the bridge, you'll cross it, and there is little reason to get so worked up and anxious about it now. It's the peace of knowing that whatever the challenge may be, God has your back. Like, He's got it. That is what gives me peace and calm in the middle of the storms that sometimes blow my way.
A lot of the time (very often in recent times, actually) i feel like i need to apologise for my laid back attitude...but then i realize that i'm not quite sure i'm sorry for it. It's not that i have no plans or i don't care..it's just working with the fact that i.do.not.know. We plan, and God has His plans...so MY plan is basically to be available to do HIS plan..and He has His ways of revealing that to you. The big picture of this plan is that you trust Him. For the most part, this is what you work with. That you trust Him enough to go where He leads..A lot of the time, He tells you where to go on the go...you do not get instructions in the mail 5 years prior..so i take it one day at a time, and do that bit, because i trust Him entirely to steer me to where i need to be...
So that's that basically...that my contentement is not about being lazy, or not caring about anything...it's just the peace that comes with knowing, with realizing that He has this. Like, He really does, and no matter how a situation looks or feels...it's all okay..I'm happy with where i am, i'm thankful for all that has led me here, and i'm thankful for what's in store....diiiiig?
I am thankful for Life
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for His presence in my life
I am thankful for the song "City on the hill" by Casting Crowns and also, for Jango :P
I am thankful for God's guidance each and every day
I am thankful for His conversations :P
I am thankful for prayer
I am thankful for everywhere He leads me...dood my life is like...not coincidental :P
I am thankful for my family..they are ze Best!
I am thankful for my sisters and how loving and supportive and wise and kind and good they are
I am thankful for BigBro's wife...i keep saying that she's an angel..it's like not only does she feel when to hola at me, whenever i talk to her, it's like my spirit experiences a shot of nourishment...okay that sounds...flowery but yeah..
I am thankful for my friends! old, new...side note on the new...sometimes, a lot of the time, things happen without fanfare and you don't realize that your prayer has been answered to the very last detail until a while later...especially if you're blonde like me...i prayed for friends that are godly, that would encourage me right, that would be moral support and understand me on this walk with God...i was lacking those...and you know...God has blessed me with awesooome new friends..and not even new in the technical sense of new human beings alone..but old friendships have has these whole new dimensions opened..and it's amazzzziiing!
I am thankful for faith. For real. That's one word i've seriously considered getting tatted...i cannot hype the concept enough...FAITH! it is a blessing, it is a source of strength, it is hope, it is worth it, it is beautiful!
I am thankful for understanding
I am thankful for wisdom
I am thankful for kindness
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for happiness
I am thankful for Joy
I am thankful for inspiration, for creativity
I am thankful for blessings
I am thankful for talents
I am thankful for people
I am thankful for His Spirit
I am thankful for music
I am thankful for summer days..i walked into the kitchen today at about 8pm and the sunshine/beginnings of a sunset was just breathtaking...
I am thankful for beauty..a la the above mentioned...so simple...yet it's enough to make you cry..the fragile innocent beauty of it
I am thankful for humour! i don't know what i'd do without it..and even more than just humour, is when people understand your humour..oh that is epiiiic! and you're vibing and everything...i am thankful that God has placed people that get me in my life...and a LOT of laughter ensues...and laughter...is the best!
I am thankful for this post
I am thankful for today
I am thankful for His perfect plan
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for Grace
I am thankful!!!!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Thankful Thursday: Surrender
Sometimes, we aren't so upbeat. And that is okay. Being a Christian, being born again doesn't mean your life becomes rainbow unicorn fairydust sunset days... Sometimes we panic and set these ridiculous standards that we think we have to meet...and when we don't...we feel bad, and that affects our relationship with God. Sometimes i lapse into thinking that everything going right and sunshine and smiles are the only things that confirm my "good" relationship with God..and i know that is false.
That is untrue. Your relationship with God is not about only what you judge to be happy times. There is a time for everything under the sun, and sometimes there is a time to go through trial to come out stronger.
Underneath the depression and helplessness and outright fear i've felt since last night, i feel, i see the lessons learned, and i believe that God is not leaving me hanging and in just a little while i'll see the purpose of it all...it doesn't change the ratty way i feel, it doesn't make the anger and bitterness just poof and go away..quite contrary to my last post, right now i feel like i've learned that i need to NOT trust as opposed to trust and...on and on it goes...i will keep praying that this helpless feeling goes away..but mahn i'm tempted to just run with anger...and that would not end well..i'd just wallow, and it will get more and more dismal...so...yeah...being a christian doesn't mean you're always upbeat and everything is going just super duper...it knowing that no matter what, and no matter how desolate it seems, the Lord is your joy and comfort and His joy comes with the morning light..so...yeah..lol pray for me to overcome this sadness and anger and loss of faith...
In time, His perfect purpose will be revealed.
We need to learn to surrender to Him. Completely, totally, give all of you to Him, don't be hiding any part as per "for a rainy day"...Surrender to His will, to His purpose..He won't ever let you down..no matter how it may feel like you're heading for disaster...be assured that you will arrive safely to where He purposed you to be...
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for Uni! Baba God noni!!!!! wrote my last exam for the semester today..cannot believe it's over!! God just poured favour over me meyn! i cannot be thankful enough
I am thankful for my friends....He has blessed me with amazing people..old and new :P
I am thankful for M...her soul agrees with me
I am thankful for God's presence in my life
I am thankful for praise and worship music
I am thankful for the Quackster! my very own angel!
I am thankful for understanding...as hurtful as things may get, i am thankful because my vision is more 20/20 than it was and i'm losing that naivite
I am thankful for our pastor at church! His humility and honesty are inspirng, and i am thankful for his life, for his family, and that God made our paths cross
I am thankful for church! i have been blessed with a lovely extra family :P for real..my church is like...family!
I am thankful for His faithfulness
I am thankful for His guidance and protection
I am thankful for His perfect plan
I am thankful for my family..my mom, dad, sisters, grandparents
I am thankful that He never allows me to lack anything..everything i need, i have...He provides without fail
I am thankful for my relationship with God
I am thankful for miracles
I am thankful for patience
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for do-overs
I am thankful for junk food
I am thankful for literature
I am thankful for holidays
I am thankful for growth
I am thankful for progress
I am thankful for revelations
I am thankful for Life.
I am thankful!!!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Thankful Thursday: Suspecting God.
I jotted down this topic as a post idea about two weeks ago....it's funny how the last couple of days have helped me understand how it happens in my life.
God is good, God is faithful, God never lets us down....and yet somehow, we hesitate when He asks something of us. We stop, squint and go...are You suuuure? like, are You serious serious? Do You not see that i'm going to get hurt if i do this?
Quacky and i once talked about how if you're not being pushed out of your comfort zone, then you're probably sleeping on a bicycle. God is constantly challenging us; it's the only way to grow. If you surround yourself with things that make you comfortable, you will remain stagnant. Growth requires you to go out and do something new...and yes, it's a risk, yes, it feels like you'll fall flat on your face, and even if you do, you won't be where you were and that is already worth it i guess. No lesson learned is a waste...
Now see, apppaaaarently, as i've only recently started to understand, i am not a very trusting person. I might have picked it up somewhere along the line, but i've noticed that i maintain an attitude of not allowing myself believe people for the most part. It's conducting relationships (with people in general) with the acceptance that the person is going to up and leave at any moment, or that whatever they say may or may not be true..And for the most part, i'm really rather okay with it..it's safe. It means that i don't get let down, i don't get as disappointed as i know i would if i threw my heart into it..because when i do trust, when i do let people in..mahn, it's no holds barred and there's a whole different set of expectations...and i've had that thrown in my face and it's the worst..
So anyway, here i am, all comfortable and walled up and it's working out...and God throws me this situation where i'm going on nothing but trust. Different scenarios, but i've noticed the common theme has been having to just go on trust. It sounds crazy, and is most probably walking the thin line of dangerous...but here we are. I have prayed about this in so many ways, i've turned and fled, i've dug my heels in and asked God if He's sure, i've pleaded that it is madness and He should allow me skip whatever this may be...
He just keeps saying that i should look back and answer if anything bad has befallen me so far...and the truth is that nothing has. So He says to keep going, that there is a lesson in there...and b'leeee me! i am learning them, i'm seeing them, and i'm understanding them...And in the face of this, i'm still anxious as crazy most of the time..
God says He will never abandon us, He'll never put us in a situation He isn't planning to get us through...and i testify to this...yet somehow i'm still looking back like...er, God? You want me to go there? like, You're sure? i should keep going? and He's there nodding..and i'm still double checking each move...He understands...
But mahn...He's put me smack in this situation where i have to confront this trust issue. It's pure madness! It's so in yo face it's crazy. I probably am too. I've been in situations where all things considered, i wasn't safe, save for the trust that this person won't decide to cause me any harm. That's crazy...don't do that..but to each his own, and you cannot dictate anyone's course of events but your own.
I believe in God. like believe believe. Some people may find it nuts that i talk about Him guiding me..but it is what it is...i don't think words will ever be able to convey what it is to another person until they experience it. Taste and see that the Lord is good. A couple of months ago, i would have raised eyebrows at myself...but here we are, and too much has happened in my life for me to discredit my relationship with God...
So yes, i do believe that He leads us, i do believe that we need to go where He leads, i do believe He has a purpose...and sometimes it seems to defy logic and common sense...and even i will be the first to tell people to not get carried away and not put themselves in comprmising situations because they think God led them somewhere...maybe i'm being a coward about it, but i would not want to take that kind of responsibility...i am speaking for myself.
What i can say is that i do not regret going where He leads. He has already taught me a lot with the situation to date...it's the continuation part that leaves me apprehensive...but i cannot lie and say it's been without result. Quackster pointed out to me that this situation saved me in one sense...and it's true..i do not fully understand how far the ripples go, but i do know that in one moment, things i've misunderstood, things that have caused me hurt for so long just became so clear that i burst out laughing....so my verdict is that it's worth it...
It's just this thing where i have no safety net, and a lot of logical arguments against going ahead...but there's nowhere to go but there, armed with nothing but faith in God, and my limping trust in mankind...it's a challenge, and i have a lot to learn, so LGT.
I am thankful for life.
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for the relationship He makes possible between us
I am thankful for His faithfulness
I am thankful for His love
I am thankful for His grace
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for growth
I am thankful for experiences
I am thankful for the great weight He lifted off my soul this week...it was a much needed unburdening
I am thankful for do-overs
I am thankful for His word
I am thankful for doing things His way...truth is, sometimes, it's hard. The alternative is all shiny and begging to be used...it is however, not impossible to do it His way. It's not even that hard once you get round to it..it's just hard choosing it, because our minds scream that it's not rational and will never work, so we try to do what we think is "fail proof"...If you choose to do it His way, He will see you through, best believe. ah, see temptation..you just need to keep your mind on what He says about it and don't allow yourself to fall for anything else...in a short time, you'll come around and wonder why you were even considering to break His instruction...
I am thankful for my family...i am blessed to have them
I am thankful for my friends...shout out Quacky! in my trust issue riddled world, my friends are few...but when they are my friends...dizzamn! My soul agrees with her :P
I am thankful for lessons learned
I am thankful for just how much i have changed..in a good way..you don't notice these things from day to day..but at some point you meet situations and realize that you cannot imagine how or why you once handled them the way you did...it's amazing, really...
I am thankful for Uni! i am an anxiety champion...but to say the truth and shame the devil...every single thing i've been nervous about just gets sorted in an instant and it's grace and favour all the way and i'm like :D
I am thankful for church
I am thankful for patience
I am thankful for Quackster listening patiently to my ranting and commenting with wisdom and calming me down...that's special
I am thankful for prayer
I am thankful that God will use everything to bring you to Him..in Love...He doesn't create bad situations, but He will use them to save you...things would move a lot faster if you were seeking Him as well :P He doesn't hide
I am thankful for inspiration
I am thankful for kindness
I am thankful for protection
I guess i'm thankful for trust...
I am thankful!!!
P.s...i'm still kinda acting like a ram and digging my heels in and fearing to go on with this...*singing* everything rides on faith somehowwwwwwwww...He is faithful and cannot deny Himself.
Have a blessed week!!!
God is good, God is faithful, God never lets us down....and yet somehow, we hesitate when He asks something of us. We stop, squint and go...are You suuuure? like, are You serious serious? Do You not see that i'm going to get hurt if i do this?
Quacky and i once talked about how if you're not being pushed out of your comfort zone, then you're probably sleeping on a bicycle. God is constantly challenging us; it's the only way to grow. If you surround yourself with things that make you comfortable, you will remain stagnant. Growth requires you to go out and do something new...and yes, it's a risk, yes, it feels like you'll fall flat on your face, and even if you do, you won't be where you were and that is already worth it i guess. No lesson learned is a waste...
Now see, apppaaaarently, as i've only recently started to understand, i am not a very trusting person. I might have picked it up somewhere along the line, but i've noticed that i maintain an attitude of not allowing myself believe people for the most part. It's conducting relationships (with people in general) with the acceptance that the person is going to up and leave at any moment, or that whatever they say may or may not be true..And for the most part, i'm really rather okay with it..it's safe. It means that i don't get let down, i don't get as disappointed as i know i would if i threw my heart into it..because when i do trust, when i do let people in..mahn, it's no holds barred and there's a whole different set of expectations...and i've had that thrown in my face and it's the worst..
So anyway, here i am, all comfortable and walled up and it's working out...and God throws me this situation where i'm going on nothing but trust. Different scenarios, but i've noticed the common theme has been having to just go on trust. It sounds crazy, and is most probably walking the thin line of dangerous...but here we are. I have prayed about this in so many ways, i've turned and fled, i've dug my heels in and asked God if He's sure, i've pleaded that it is madness and He should allow me skip whatever this may be...
He just keeps saying that i should look back and answer if anything bad has befallen me so far...and the truth is that nothing has. So He says to keep going, that there is a lesson in there...and b'leeee me! i am learning them, i'm seeing them, and i'm understanding them...And in the face of this, i'm still anxious as crazy most of the time..
God says He will never abandon us, He'll never put us in a situation He isn't planning to get us through...and i testify to this...yet somehow i'm still looking back like...er, God? You want me to go there? like, You're sure? i should keep going? and He's there nodding..and i'm still double checking each move...He understands...
But mahn...He's put me smack in this situation where i have to confront this trust issue. It's pure madness! It's so in yo face it's crazy. I probably am too. I've been in situations where all things considered, i wasn't safe, save for the trust that this person won't decide to cause me any harm. That's crazy...don't do that..but to each his own, and you cannot dictate anyone's course of events but your own.
I believe in God. like believe believe. Some people may find it nuts that i talk about Him guiding me..but it is what it is...i don't think words will ever be able to convey what it is to another person until they experience it. Taste and see that the Lord is good. A couple of months ago, i would have raised eyebrows at myself...but here we are, and too much has happened in my life for me to discredit my relationship with God...
So yes, i do believe that He leads us, i do believe that we need to go where He leads, i do believe He has a purpose...and sometimes it seems to defy logic and common sense...and even i will be the first to tell people to not get carried away and not put themselves in comprmising situations because they think God led them somewhere...maybe i'm being a coward about it, but i would not want to take that kind of responsibility...i am speaking for myself.
What i can say is that i do not regret going where He leads. He has already taught me a lot with the situation to date...it's the continuation part that leaves me apprehensive...but i cannot lie and say it's been without result. Quackster pointed out to me that this situation saved me in one sense...and it's true..i do not fully understand how far the ripples go, but i do know that in one moment, things i've misunderstood, things that have caused me hurt for so long just became so clear that i burst out laughing....so my verdict is that it's worth it...
It's just this thing where i have no safety net, and a lot of logical arguments against going ahead...but there's nowhere to go but there, armed with nothing but faith in God, and my limping trust in mankind...it's a challenge, and i have a lot to learn, so LGT.
I am thankful for life.
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for the relationship He makes possible between us
I am thankful for His faithfulness
I am thankful for His love
I am thankful for His grace
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for growth
I am thankful for experiences
I am thankful for the great weight He lifted off my soul this week...it was a much needed unburdening
I am thankful for do-overs
I am thankful for His word
I am thankful for doing things His way...truth is, sometimes, it's hard. The alternative is all shiny and begging to be used...it is however, not impossible to do it His way. It's not even that hard once you get round to it..it's just hard choosing it, because our minds scream that it's not rational and will never work, so we try to do what we think is "fail proof"...If you choose to do it His way, He will see you through, best believe. ah, see temptation..you just need to keep your mind on what He says about it and don't allow yourself to fall for anything else...in a short time, you'll come around and wonder why you were even considering to break His instruction...
I am thankful for my family...i am blessed to have them
I am thankful for my friends...shout out Quacky! in my trust issue riddled world, my friends are few...but when they are my friends...dizzamn! My soul agrees with her :P
I am thankful for lessons learned
I am thankful for just how much i have changed..in a good way..you don't notice these things from day to day..but at some point you meet situations and realize that you cannot imagine how or why you once handled them the way you did...it's amazing, really...
I am thankful for Uni! i am an anxiety champion...but to say the truth and shame the devil...every single thing i've been nervous about just gets sorted in an instant and it's grace and favour all the way and i'm like :D
I am thankful for church
I am thankful for patience
I am thankful for Quackster listening patiently to my ranting and commenting with wisdom and calming me down...that's special
I am thankful for prayer
I am thankful that God will use everything to bring you to Him..in Love...He doesn't create bad situations, but He will use them to save you...things would move a lot faster if you were seeking Him as well :P He doesn't hide
I am thankful for inspiration
I am thankful for kindness
I am thankful for protection
I guess i'm thankful for trust...
I am thankful!!!
P.s...i'm still kinda acting like a ram and digging my heels in and fearing to go on with this...*singing* everything rides on faith somehowwwwwwwww...He is faithful and cannot deny Himself.
Have a blessed week!!!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Thankful Thursday: For pride is sneaky...
Proverbs 26:12 says this: Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? there is more hope for a fool than for him.
9 “Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker,
those who are nothing but potsherds
among the potsherds on the ground.
Does the clay say to the potter,
‘What are you making?’
Does your work say,
‘The potter has no hands’?- Isaiah 45:9
In who's understanding of wisdom is your wisdom rated? Does it come from God, who gives it abundantly? Is it rooted in truth and integrity and love? Is your wisdom fair? or does it find it's beginnings in arrogance?
It's a thin, tricky line to walk, this line that separates us from pride.
Pride is a tricky sin, because we tend to be commiting it at exactly those moments when we feel most holy and self righteous.
argh...this is not flowing today...i have had a wonderful, exhausting, and rather productive day. I learned a lot, ate a little and am thankful for everything...but i do find that this writing thing..so i'll do it this way...bullet points of sorts
Isaiah 43- because it always overwhelms me with God's love and also because coincidentally, my dad mentioned it to me yesterday.
43
But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel:
...until the end, if you will...
Also, The Shack. I haven't read it to the end, but God has clarified so many things already...so...critics will always be there, and i'm not even saying that you should drop everything and BELIEVE in this book...i'm just saying that it's not irrelevant. God makes no mistakes.
Well that's the long and short of it...meditate, ponder, and go to the Lord in prayer and listen, don't try to make Him fit into your box of what He is and isn't...allow Him show you the truth.
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for my relationship with God.
I am thaknful that God is...GOD! He is so cool, if only you'd get over yourself and have a relationship with Him...i'm ever working on this
I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for dreams
I am thankful that God has a sense of humour
I am thankful for patience
I am thankful for inspiration
I am thankful for experience
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for rest
I am thankful for church
I am thankful for kindness
I am thankful for His word
I am thankful for the favours and blessings He bestows on me
I am thankful for His perfect timing
I am thankful for the weather
I am thankful that He leads me away from what is bad for me
I am thankful for Grace...His grace is enough, it is all we need
I am thankful!!!!
9 “Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker,
those who are nothing but potsherds
among the potsherds on the ground.
Does the clay say to the potter,
‘What are you making?’
Does your work say,
‘The potter has no hands’?- Isaiah 45:9
In who's understanding of wisdom is your wisdom rated? Does it come from God, who gives it abundantly? Is it rooted in truth and integrity and love? Is your wisdom fair? or does it find it's beginnings in arrogance?
It's a thin, tricky line to walk, this line that separates us from pride.
Pride is a tricky sin, because we tend to be commiting it at exactly those moments when we feel most holy and self righteous.
argh...this is not flowing today...i have had a wonderful, exhausting, and rather productive day. I learned a lot, ate a little and am thankful for everything...but i do find that this writing thing..so i'll do it this way...bullet points of sorts
Isaiah 43- because it always overwhelms me with God's love and also because coincidentally, my dad mentioned it to me yesterday.
43
But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. 3 For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush[a] and Seba in your stead. 4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. 6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth —7 everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made. ”
...until the end, if you will...2 Corinthians 12:6-10
New International Version (NIV)
6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Also, The Shack. I haven't read it to the end, but God has clarified so many things already...so...critics will always be there, and i'm not even saying that you should drop everything and BELIEVE in this book...i'm just saying that it's not irrelevant. God makes no mistakes.
Well that's the long and short of it...meditate, ponder, and go to the Lord in prayer and listen, don't try to make Him fit into your box of what He is and isn't...allow Him show you the truth.
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for God
I am thankful for my relationship with God.
I am thaknful that God is...GOD! He is so cool, if only you'd get over yourself and have a relationship with Him...i'm ever working on this
I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for Love
I am thankful for dreams
I am thankful that God has a sense of humour
I am thankful for patience
I am thankful for inspiration
I am thankful for experience
I am thankful for forgiveness
I am thankful for rest
I am thankful for church
I am thankful for kindness
I am thankful for His word
I am thankful for the favours and blessings He bestows on me
I am thankful for His perfect timing
I am thankful for the weather
I am thankful that He leads me away from what is bad for me
I am thankful for Grace...His grace is enough, it is all we need
I am thankful!!!!
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