We take a whole lot of things for granted, you know? It might be cliche, but we get so used to waking up every morning that we stop being thankful for it, and even venture to groan at the necessity of it, waking up on a cold winter morning tests you, no lie.
Thats just one example thought. For three weeks i sat tight and was more nervous than i've ever been in my life. I negotiated with God, promises were made, i cursed myself for all the times i complained about what i now did not seem to have. I had horror filled visions of my future, cursed myself for being so stupid, was stunned at how this had become me. I was on the path to becoming the person i had always feared to be.
Three weeks. THREE WEEKS! and not to mention all the "hints" that crossed my path each day. Films, books, talk..babies everywhere.arghhh..God is wise, that is the conclusion i have come to again. He scared the living sin out of me meyn.
I am thankful for His not so subtle reminder, i am thankful for HIm puttig things back in perspective for me and making me see how easy it is to ruin everything...in the blink of an eye, I am thankful that He has given me a second chance without allowing me make even bigger mistakes. I am thankful that decisions i am not ready to make were not placed before me. I am thankful.
And even though i thought the day will never come, i am thankful for Miss Ruby. I even got a bottle of white wine to celebrate...like i promised myself.
I am thankful for my family.
I am thankful for my friends.
I am thankful for holidays and the fact that i am having a wonderful time back home.
I am thankful for all the lovely people i meet each day.
I am thankful for GOD. as one quote said...Even if God did not exist, it would be necessary that we create Him. I need God.
I am thankful that God put me in a position where i can see for myself what happens when i sideline Him. All the gbese i would have been in would have been as a result of the simple fact that i shut my ears and eyes and heart from Him. I blocked Him out...i thought it was "freedom"..yea right..the type that lands you in hot bondage at the end of it...abeg o!
I am thankful that all my senses are in working order, i am thankful that i am berry berry healthy :P
I am thankfullllllllllllllllllll!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Heaven couldn't wait...apparently
In a way, i am thankful that i didn't do a thankful post yesterday, because today, it would have felt like blasphemy.
Not saying that there was nothing to be thankful for...but all that is just dimmed by the fact that Michael Jackson is dead.
I cannot process that. Michael Jackson and dead in the same sentence is surreal. I'm reading words and i'm hearing sounds, but i'm in a trance.
So...i will be thankful for his life...HE ROCKED! and i will be thankful for the fact that he will live on through is music forever.
But for now? i am in mourning.
He's in a better place, and i am selfish, but i'm only human.
Not saying that there was nothing to be thankful for...but all that is just dimmed by the fact that Michael Jackson is dead.
I cannot process that. Michael Jackson and dead in the same sentence is surreal. I'm reading words and i'm hearing sounds, but i'm in a trance.
So...i will be thankful for his life...HE ROCKED! and i will be thankful for the fact that he will live on through is music forever.
But for now? i am in mourning.
He's in a better place, and i am selfish, but i'm only human.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Thankful Thursday: Great Expectations, bells and whistles.
I believe that this Thankful Thursday Thing (LOL at my alliterations...reminds me of an SCL post...fun stuff) has evolved to hold a message as well as my thankfulness...
The bells and whistles thing. I believe that God is simple. God is so uncomplicated that we as humans refuse to accept Him that way. Like, when you see this really easy question on your exam sheet...and you're like naaaah, it must be a joke, or wait..maybe it's super duper complicated..and then you go ahead and give the most complicated answer you know, and promptly fail. Just the other day i read something about Christians and the Bible...i wish i saved that quote..wait, hold on..lemme find it..in summary though, it says that the Bible isn't complicated at all...it's just that "Christians" choose to make it out to be so because they fear that the moment they accept that they understand it as-is,they will have no choice but to conform to it. I can understand how that is a scary thought. If, however, you do not admit to entirely understanding it, that is a huge fertile field (alliterations!) of loopholes to exploit... What will the Law proffesion be without loopholes?
"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church’s prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes, it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament."
Yes, i even shrunk it in an attempt to fool you minions into thinking that it is a nice short quote :P
Human beings seem to crave ceremony and great mystery before they accept that a thing is credible. If it doesn't shoot fireworks and arrive in a cloud, it must be substandard.
This, however, creates problems for those of us who realize that maybe, just maybe, it isn't as hush hush and secret society as "they" make it out to be. Once i read a book about how to angle your church floors and dim the lights just so, so that people will be in "the mood". It just can't work without the bells and whistles eh?
I do not need to be told about seas being parted, and bones being made human again. I believe God is Awesome. He proves this to me with every breath i take. It is the way it is, i do not need a fairytale woven around it to make me awestruck. Reality itself is magical, it's beautiful. I do not need all these "extras".
Too often we make God out to be Human. We ascribe our human characteristics to Him. We make God out to be petty and egotistical. God is not human, He is above the emotions and characters we exhibit. This, however, is difficult for us to grasp, because we cannot compare something to another thing that we know NOTHING about, so we drag it down to our level and break it into bits of our reality. Just like when people were convinced the earth was flat. They could not conceive the concept of it being otherwise.Like explaining the colour red to someone who has only ever seen blue. My best bet is that they would conclude it's some shade of blue... This is how we know God. As one other quote said, to paraphrase, we see God as some sort of Cosmic Grandfather.
Grandfather. Human.
Why should God be man or woman or black or white or yellow? God is God. But that sort of God is abstract, so we make Him into a handy Cosmic Grandfather ( i love this expression btw!), one with Whom we can relate.
This other joke goes; Do not argue with an idiot, because they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
The beat you with experience part is irrelevant, but the down to their level part seems to be exactly what we've done with God. We've made Him a super human. He is great and all, but He's just this Mighty Human. That upsets me sometimes. Sure, it's easier to relate to and all that, but we then begin subconsciously giving Him these oh-so-human add-ons, ones that we understand.
Human beings are the ones who love feeling "big" and having their egos stroked, and yet even among humans, those who are truly "big" somehow rise above the banality that is demanding for their ego to be stroked.
So yes, it's still about religion, and even the Bible in this. They are so full of grandeur, and stories designed to make your jaw drop and all these overly awesome things. What the writers/spreaders didn't seem to see, imo, is that there is/was absolutely no need for all the frills. If they had looked around, they would have seen that the truth of what is is more fantabulostical than any sort of tale they come up with.
They've gone and left us with a dilemma now. You don't seem to be allowed to appreciate both versions. It's Tales Vs Reality, and you are on top of everything threatened with a lifelong BBQ, you featuring as the main meat, if you refuse to believe the Tales version. It sucks.
God is simple, uncomplicated, and wise beyond human understanding. All out wiseness and insight must be the most hilarious thing God watches.
Understand if you understand.
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for the way He looks out for me
I am thankful for the little packets of joy He places in my path. He has designed the funnest obstacle course for me.
I am thankful for emotions. Happy and Sad, tears and laughter, love and heartache. Life would be so vanilla without them!
I am thankful for wisdom...i don't claim it, but i am thankful that i have access to the works of those who are blessed by it.
I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for my friends
I am thankful that the things i call problems are really so insignificant in the big picture
I am thankful for His reminders
I am thankful that He has taught me to be thankful instead of giving in to despair
I am thankful that i went to church last Sunday! Honestly, the service was jokes, the message was...*crickets* why is this man even talking? BUT! you could feel the goodness radiating...so that was nice..and i met the nicest Swedish Missionary lady..she was hot life fire, btw :P..just added that because Missionary conjures up the strangest images of unattractiveness for me :P
be good ya'll...and find the awesomeness in the simplest of truths!!! God's magnificence is not in a magic trick. Know this.
The bells and whistles thing. I believe that God is simple. God is so uncomplicated that we as humans refuse to accept Him that way. Like, when you see this really easy question on your exam sheet...and you're like naaaah, it must be a joke, or wait..maybe it's super duper complicated..and then you go ahead and give the most complicated answer you know, and promptly fail. Just the other day i read something about Christians and the Bible...i wish i saved that quote..wait, hold on..lemme find it..in summary though, it says that the Bible isn't complicated at all...it's just that "Christians" choose to make it out to be so because they fear that the moment they accept that they understand it as-is,they will have no choice but to conform to it. I can understand how that is a scary thought. If, however, you do not admit to entirely understanding it, that is a huge fertile field (alliterations!) of loopholes to exploit... What will the Law proffesion be without loopholes?
"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church’s prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes, it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament."
Yes, i even shrunk it in an attempt to fool you minions into thinking that it is a nice short quote :P
Human beings seem to crave ceremony and great mystery before they accept that a thing is credible. If it doesn't shoot fireworks and arrive in a cloud, it must be substandard.
This, however, creates problems for those of us who realize that maybe, just maybe, it isn't as hush hush and secret society as "they" make it out to be. Once i read a book about how to angle your church floors and dim the lights just so, so that people will be in "the mood". It just can't work without the bells and whistles eh?
I do not need to be told about seas being parted, and bones being made human again. I believe God is Awesome. He proves this to me with every breath i take. It is the way it is, i do not need a fairytale woven around it to make me awestruck. Reality itself is magical, it's beautiful. I do not need all these "extras".
Too often we make God out to be Human. We ascribe our human characteristics to Him. We make God out to be petty and egotistical. God is not human, He is above the emotions and characters we exhibit. This, however, is difficult for us to grasp, because we cannot compare something to another thing that we know NOTHING about, so we drag it down to our level and break it into bits of our reality. Just like when people were convinced the earth was flat. They could not conceive the concept of it being otherwise.Like explaining the colour red to someone who has only ever seen blue. My best bet is that they would conclude it's some shade of blue... This is how we know God. As one other quote said, to paraphrase, we see God as some sort of Cosmic Grandfather.
Grandfather. Human.
Why should God be man or woman or black or white or yellow? God is God. But that sort of God is abstract, so we make Him into a handy Cosmic Grandfather ( i love this expression btw!), one with Whom we can relate.
This other joke goes; Do not argue with an idiot, because they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
The beat you with experience part is irrelevant, but the down to their level part seems to be exactly what we've done with God. We've made Him a super human. He is great and all, but He's just this Mighty Human. That upsets me sometimes. Sure, it's easier to relate to and all that, but we then begin subconsciously giving Him these oh-so-human add-ons, ones that we understand.
Human beings are the ones who love feeling "big" and having their egos stroked, and yet even among humans, those who are truly "big" somehow rise above the banality that is demanding for their ego to be stroked.
So yes, it's still about religion, and even the Bible in this. They are so full of grandeur, and stories designed to make your jaw drop and all these overly awesome things. What the writers/spreaders didn't seem to see, imo, is that there is/was absolutely no need for all the frills. If they had looked around, they would have seen that the truth of what is is more fantabulostical than any sort of tale they come up with.
They've gone and left us with a dilemma now. You don't seem to be allowed to appreciate both versions. It's Tales Vs Reality, and you are on top of everything threatened with a lifelong BBQ, you featuring as the main meat, if you refuse to believe the Tales version. It sucks.
God is simple, uncomplicated, and wise beyond human understanding. All out wiseness and insight must be the most hilarious thing God watches.
Understand if you understand.
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for the way He looks out for me
I am thankful for the little packets of joy He places in my path. He has designed the funnest obstacle course for me.
I am thankful for emotions. Happy and Sad, tears and laughter, love and heartache. Life would be so vanilla without them!
I am thankful for wisdom...i don't claim it, but i am thankful that i have access to the works of those who are blessed by it.
I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for my friends
I am thankful that the things i call problems are really so insignificant in the big picture
I am thankful for His reminders
I am thankful that He has taught me to be thankful instead of giving in to despair
I am thankful that i went to church last Sunday! Honestly, the service was jokes, the message was...*crickets* why is this man even talking? BUT! you could feel the goodness radiating...so that was nice..and i met the nicest Swedish Missionary lady..she was hot life fire, btw :P..just added that because Missionary conjures up the strangest images of unattractiveness for me :P
be good ya'll...and find the awesomeness in the simplest of truths!!! God's magnificence is not in a magic trick. Know this.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Oh dear...
I missed a Thankful Thursady post...and i did not notice until just now. Does this mean something? In my defence though, i was busy all day. I trekked like i have never trekked before, and it's a wonder i didn't drop dead on the street. Okay, so maybe i exaggerate a little. I did have a VERY tiring day, and the fact that it was Thursday did not cross my mind. Once.
And i was a bundle of nerves...yesterday AND today. Perhaps it's PMS? i want to cry and scream and punch people.
I guess i'm thankful that i'm alive, and that i have family, and that i have a roof over my head and can afford school and food and fun and going home when i need it. Some people don't have that.
I am also incredibly thankful for the weather this night/morning...yay rain!
and i'm reading SCL, and it's kinda cheering me up and making me feel "in the spirit" which is a way i haven't felt in a while...and then i click this link and end up at this other site and then there's the evolution/creation-in-a-heartbeat arguement, and then it reminds me of all the issues i have :(..one really good argument i saw was this (i never actually considered it!) the guy was like, how come "christians" will go on arguing about if the earth is millions of years old, or 6000 years old, and yet nobody seems to question how light was created before the sun.
My stance on creation/evolution? They are both correct. People should learn to stop this either/or nonsense. God created the earth and all that is in it, yes. Is God a God of no logic and order? NO. Patterns, processes...this is the evolution that science describes. Even if there wa big bang, God caused it so there. psh....i do not mean to infringe on anyones beliefs. If the version where God claps and it appears appeals to you, by all means, stick to that belief; i am not seeking to convert anyone.
People need to come to the conclusion of what they believe by themselves, only then will it be genuine and real to them. Being force fed is a placebo. You think you're doing all right..but you really are not, just getting by on an illusion. I should know, been there, done that.
Anyways, thats that. I am thankful that i am breathing and blinking.
be good.
And i was a bundle of nerves...yesterday AND today. Perhaps it's PMS? i want to cry and scream and punch people.
I guess i'm thankful that i'm alive, and that i have family, and that i have a roof over my head and can afford school and food and fun and going home when i need it. Some people don't have that.
I am also incredibly thankful for the weather this night/morning...yay rain!
and i'm reading SCL, and it's kinda cheering me up and making me feel "in the spirit" which is a way i haven't felt in a while...and then i click this link and end up at this other site and then there's the evolution/creation-in-a-heartbeat arguement, and then it reminds me of all the issues i have :(..one really good argument i saw was this (i never actually considered it!) the guy was like, how come "christians" will go on arguing about if the earth is millions of years old, or 6000 years old, and yet nobody seems to question how light was created before the sun.
My stance on creation/evolution? They are both correct. People should learn to stop this either/or nonsense. God created the earth and all that is in it, yes. Is God a God of no logic and order? NO. Patterns, processes...this is the evolution that science describes. Even if there wa big bang, God caused it so there. psh....i do not mean to infringe on anyones beliefs. If the version where God claps and it appears appeals to you, by all means, stick to that belief; i am not seeking to convert anyone.
People need to come to the conclusion of what they believe by themselves, only then will it be genuine and real to them. Being force fed is a placebo. You think you're doing all right..but you really are not, just getting by on an illusion. I should know, been there, done that.
Anyways, thats that. I am thankful that i am breathing and blinking.
be good.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Thankful Thursday: Timestamps
Maybe it's tiredness, maybe it's guilt, maybe it's everything, maybe it's nothing...but yes, my relationship with God is now showing red. I am terrible. I am quite sure that He hasn't changed or nuttin'..it's me me me..and according to dogma, i am going to burn in hell, nevermind that my sins are "minor"...we all know that "minor" and "major" don't exist right?
Anywho...I am thankful that i am leaving and breathing
I am thankful that i still have amazing friends and family
I am thankful that my grandpa has jokes...he always says some ridiculous thing that has everyone laughing
I am thankful that one day at a time, my exams are coming to an end and...HOLIDAY TIME!!! woohoo
I am thankful that i was delivered from superficiality...better put, i was never afflicted with it...there are so many more inportant things in this world than being preoccupied with benefitless stupidity...grow a soul1 cultivate a conscience! KNOW SOMETHING...psh...lol..i'm under impression from a show i saw yesterday...the term "airhead" is apparently not derived from thin air...
I am thankful that my little sisters are not airheads :P
I am thankful for all my friends and brothers of friends and cousins of friends who lived to see their birthday today
I am thankful again for kindness from unexpected sources..my classmate called me like three times this morning to let me know when we had classes...he saved me unnecessary waka...now, he might have been doing this out of selfish interest but i choose to see it otherwise
I am thankful for Utorrent and all the wonderful old movies i've downloaded..memories!
I am thankful for the silver lining, i am thankful for realism...lol..i am not a fan of optimism :P
I am thankful for Philosophy...deep ish...fascinating ish...makes you think, makes you realize, makes you understand...
Thankful that despite the fact that i am finding it very hard to "get right"...a clean page awaits me the moment i commit....
Thankful that...i am breaking free of the bonds of Dogma and am more or less becoming okay with my theories on God...God is not a meanie who will smite the living daylights out of you for saying "fcuk" (:P had to misspell), God is not a wuss who is crying and begging and being helpless at the doors of your heart. If your neighour behaved in any of the aformentioned ways, you'd steer clear of him/her. God is not petty..although that has been so engraved in my mind it's hard to move past it..God is God, and surely He is capable of having the understanding that we require as the norm from our fellow man...just saying...because sometimes, guilt will wreck you...guilt over what is really nothing at all even...bleh
Thankful of my Lappppppptop! i love it..it is trusty, it is kind to me, and it is my larlin :P
Thankful for summer
Thankful for rain
Thankful for sweet sweet sleep
Thankful that i have some freaky memorising skills....which i need to put to good use like NOW...instead of typing this :P..have a literature exam tomorrow..I have to recite a poem from memory..in Ukrainian
be good people!
Anywho...I am thankful that i am leaving and breathing
I am thankful that i still have amazing friends and family
I am thankful that my grandpa has jokes...he always says some ridiculous thing that has everyone laughing
I am thankful that one day at a time, my exams are coming to an end and...HOLIDAY TIME!!! woohoo
I am thankful that i was delivered from superficiality...better put, i was never afflicted with it...there are so many more inportant things in this world than being preoccupied with benefitless stupidity...grow a soul1 cultivate a conscience! KNOW SOMETHING...psh...lol..i'm under impression from a show i saw yesterday...the term "airhead" is apparently not derived from thin air...
I am thankful that my little sisters are not airheads :P
I am thankful for all my friends and brothers of friends and cousins of friends who lived to see their birthday today
I am thankful again for kindness from unexpected sources..my classmate called me like three times this morning to let me know when we had classes...he saved me unnecessary waka...now, he might have been doing this out of selfish interest but i choose to see it otherwise
I am thankful for Utorrent and all the wonderful old movies i've downloaded..memories!
I am thankful for the silver lining, i am thankful for realism...lol..i am not a fan of optimism :P
I am thankful for Philosophy...deep ish...fascinating ish...makes you think, makes you realize, makes you understand...
Thankful that despite the fact that i am finding it very hard to "get right"...a clean page awaits me the moment i commit....
Thankful that...i am breaking free of the bonds of Dogma and am more or less becoming okay with my theories on God...God is not a meanie who will smite the living daylights out of you for saying "fcuk" (:P had to misspell), God is not a wuss who is crying and begging and being helpless at the doors of your heart. If your neighour behaved in any of the aformentioned ways, you'd steer clear of him/her. God is not petty..although that has been so engraved in my mind it's hard to move past it..God is God, and surely He is capable of having the understanding that we require as the norm from our fellow man...just saying...because sometimes, guilt will wreck you...guilt over what is really nothing at all even...bleh
Thankful of my Lappppppptop! i love it..it is trusty, it is kind to me, and it is my larlin :P
Thankful for summer
Thankful for rain
Thankful for sweet sweet sleep
Thankful that i have some freaky memorising skills....which i need to put to good use like NOW...instead of typing this :P..have a literature exam tomorrow..I have to recite a poem from memory..in Ukrainian
be good people!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Thankful Thursday : There is always something to be thankful for
No matter how desolate your situation is, there is always something to be thankful for in it. No matter how hopeless, look at the origin and possible futures of that situation, and you will see the many ways in which it is not such a bad thing afterall. Look for the silver lining, if you don't see it, look for the bronze one, look for the tin one, but by all means look for the bright side...LOL...and to think i am recreationally pessimistic...
This is the earliest i'm ever typing a Thankful post...no school, home alone, actually remembered it's Thursday! Daddys Birthday!!!
I am thankful for my father, for his life, for his sucesses, for the love he has for us...ahem, we have had our moments, but you know...lol i am thankful that he is alive to be able to celebrate another birthday in his life!
I am thankful for today!!!
I am thankful for the immense beauty found in simple things...the other day, i was home alone with my grandma, studying for my exam, and i was struck by how beautiful the silence was...no, really..enchanting lol, and the way the sunlight made ordinary scenes look so picturesque! the beauty in nature, in trees and in birds and that overcute way in which cats and doggies will sometimes behave..you can't buy that!
I am thankful for love from unexpected sources...pet owners will understand me..my doggie shows the kind of love that i have not come across in any human being...his forgiveness knows no bounds, his eyes will melt your heart into one great puddle, and his cute antics will have you smiling for years....
I am thankful that life is a symphony, and everything is perfectly timed by Him. Trust me. Nothing is out of rhythm...ahem, but that raises a whole new field of questions..i will leave that for now :P
I am thankful for lazy days...when the wind barely rustles the leaves, when everything is oh so quiet, when the sun just warms everything, and you're just chillin...ah-mah-zing!
I am thankful for bloggerz! more specifically today, i am feeling rather thankful for Aloted..dunno y :P
I am thankful for all those free download engines...limewire...utorrent...they mean so much to me *has tearful moment*....free thing naim go kill pesin!
I am thankful for music. More specifically, i am thankful for Kansas, White Snake and Depeche mode, because they made me happy all yesterday!
I am thankful for my grandparents...who are the sweetest nicest people in the whole wide world!
I am thankful that my exam yesterday went okay....
Truth be told, i am struggling..i pray less, i read my devotionals and my bible like i'm punching a time card, as per, i marked that i was there and did it...but that is very wrong. Hope i get out of this rut soon....I am thankful, however, that i got "in the spirit" at a very crucial time, when that was the thing i needed most...i am thankful for that...
Be good now!
This is the earliest i'm ever typing a Thankful post...no school, home alone, actually remembered it's Thursday! Daddys Birthday!!!
I am thankful for my father, for his life, for his sucesses, for the love he has for us...ahem, we have had our moments, but you know...lol i am thankful that he is alive to be able to celebrate another birthday in his life!
I am thankful for today!!!
I am thankful for the immense beauty found in simple things...the other day, i was home alone with my grandma, studying for my exam, and i was struck by how beautiful the silence was...no, really..enchanting lol, and the way the sunlight made ordinary scenes look so picturesque! the beauty in nature, in trees and in birds and that overcute way in which cats and doggies will sometimes behave..you can't buy that!
I am thankful for love from unexpected sources...pet owners will understand me..my doggie shows the kind of love that i have not come across in any human being...his forgiveness knows no bounds, his eyes will melt your heart into one great puddle, and his cute antics will have you smiling for years....
I am thankful that life is a symphony, and everything is perfectly timed by Him. Trust me. Nothing is out of rhythm...ahem, but that raises a whole new field of questions..i will leave that for now :P
I am thankful for lazy days...when the wind barely rustles the leaves, when everything is oh so quiet, when the sun just warms everything, and you're just chillin...ah-mah-zing!
I am thankful for bloggerz! more specifically today, i am feeling rather thankful for Aloted..dunno y :P
I am thankful for all those free download engines...limewire...utorrent...they mean so much to me *has tearful moment*....free thing naim go kill pesin!
I am thankful for music. More specifically, i am thankful for Kansas, White Snake and Depeche mode, because they made me happy all yesterday!
I am thankful for my grandparents...who are the sweetest nicest people in the whole wide world!
I am thankful that my exam yesterday went okay....
Truth be told, i am struggling..i pray less, i read my devotionals and my bible like i'm punching a time card, as per, i marked that i was there and did it...but that is very wrong. Hope i get out of this rut soon....I am thankful, however, that i got "in the spirit" at a very crucial time, when that was the thing i needed most...i am thankful for that...
Be good now!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Thankful Thursday: Above all, i believe...
I didn't realize today was thursday until i saw Aloted's comment in my inbox. I know. Terrible...You can't blame me too much though, i wasn't even sure what day it was...i had no weeked so my perception of time is all messed up :P...So good with the excuses eh?
The title...I have and am still struggling a whole lot with the concept of "christianity". I have beef with that one in paticular because it's the one know. I have investigated and had long discussions with my conscience, gone over all the scoin scoins it has for me and a whole lot of that... I have a lot of questions that are not answered, and i have a lot of things that don't sit well with me at all...But above all of that, totally aside and beyond those questions, is the fact that i DO believe in God. No matter the paths i investigate, i always come back to realizing that nothing will shake my faith in God. Not lies, not earnest legends, not fantasies, or "logical" arguements will convince me that there is no God. There is, and i believe in Him...i just have a lot to learn, thats all...and that i will do, one way or another...and i am thankful for that
I am thankful for my friend, Shar, and the timid steps she's "taking" to let go of the abusiveness she calls her relationship with her ex. Like all addicts...i don't believe her...i will not give her the luxury of believing her until i am completely convinced...but i am thankful that she is at least trying...even if only on the surface...
I am thankful that i am able to be there for her, that i am able to have words to tell her that lift up her spirits, that encourage her, that make her see a light of sorts. I am thankful for all the times i am able to hug her and talk some sense into her...and she listens...i am thankful for every word, every statement that takes root in her life and lifts her up...even if i may never know what did it...i am thankful that i can help in my own way...
I am thankful for all those nice women in my school who are forever flattering me...a little warmth goes a very long way!
I am thankful for my grandma, who somehow puts up with my hormone-induced drama queen-ness...i look back and think i acted HOW? it's shameful...but she doesn't ever get propa vex at me..and she forever encourages me..and feeds me!!!
I am thankful for my grandpa, and how he always has jokes and is the smartest guy i know...
I am thankful for the lie my teacher blew today to well...people that kinda "discriminated" against me..i'm okay with it, really...i'm chubby, okay, i'm okay with that, lol...and my dean sent me to some lady organizing a cultural fashion show thing..now, i had no idea what it was about, and the woman be talking about, they don't have the clothes yet, and so they don't know the sizes, and well, you know how they sew these days, economizing and all...LMAO...poor lady...she was looking for a delicate way to tell me i'm heavy...but then my teacher was like, okay, if you need her...then sumn sumn, i'm sure you won't have any problems, she speaks four languages..in a very HA! brains win over your superficiality way...i speak three...
I am thankful for the fact that i am able not to give in to "peer" pressure...i don't think i have ever had that as a problem..maybe i'm a tad selfish to give a hoot about living to satisfy someones standards...but most of all..i think it's because i have a very rational head on my shoulders, and i'm always the mature voice of logic and reason...and i am thankful for that!!!
I am thankful that i am oh so fine :P...yes, superficial..but that red lipstick today had me feelin fierce!
I am thankful that even though i am hopeless at solving most of my own emotional problems, i always seem to be able to come up with very sound advice for my friends in need...
I am thankful that deep down...i am okay with me...even if i indulge in minor complaints
I am thankful that..okay, this one is controversial...but i am thankful that i am able to put up a solid wall between me and all those silly infatuation kinds of things. Two words : SO WRONG...anything that makes me go silly and not in control is not a good thing..on the downside...for me to "fall in love" would be a task...
I am thankful that i am stronger than i was a month before, that i am able to say no to many things, that i am able to look at things more critically and not compromise where compromise is not needed...
I am thankful for my friends...that i know i can shamelessly lean on for emotional support...they are like springs of happiness!
I am thankful for emotions...because they make things so fun! crying..laughing...liking
I am thankful for my history test today!!! i sounded like a bumbling fool and the man gave me an "excellent" grade...this is not unfair, btw..i do deserve that grade..i know everything he has ever said, i do! i do! just that explaining the history of Ukraine in Ukrainian...well, not every Ukrainian can do it so...ha!
I am thankful that i live at HOME with my grandparents and not in a hostel...as fun as it sounds at first...it's not worth it..home wins everytime, for so many reasons it would be an insult to even mention..
I am thankful for sleep...so simple, so uncomplicated, so utterly free...and yet so wonderful...mmm
I'm sleepy :P have a test tomorrow..language..
I am thankful for written words
I am thankful for spoken words
I am thankful for words read
I am thankful for words heard
I am thankful for His word
I am thankful for words!!! communication is a beautiful thing
be good now...
The title...I have and am still struggling a whole lot with the concept of "christianity". I have beef with that one in paticular because it's the one know. I have investigated and had long discussions with my conscience, gone over all the scoin scoins it has for me and a whole lot of that... I have a lot of questions that are not answered, and i have a lot of things that don't sit well with me at all...But above all of that, totally aside and beyond those questions, is the fact that i DO believe in God. No matter the paths i investigate, i always come back to realizing that nothing will shake my faith in God. Not lies, not earnest legends, not fantasies, or "logical" arguements will convince me that there is no God. There is, and i believe in Him...i just have a lot to learn, thats all...and that i will do, one way or another...and i am thankful for that
I am thankful for my friend, Shar, and the timid steps she's "taking" to let go of the abusiveness she calls her relationship with her ex. Like all addicts...i don't believe her...i will not give her the luxury of believing her until i am completely convinced...but i am thankful that she is at least trying...even if only on the surface...
I am thankful that i am able to be there for her, that i am able to have words to tell her that lift up her spirits, that encourage her, that make her see a light of sorts. I am thankful for all the times i am able to hug her and talk some sense into her...and she listens...i am thankful for every word, every statement that takes root in her life and lifts her up...even if i may never know what did it...i am thankful that i can help in my own way...
I am thankful for all those nice women in my school who are forever flattering me...a little warmth goes a very long way!
I am thankful for my grandma, who somehow puts up with my hormone-induced drama queen-ness...i look back and think i acted HOW? it's shameful...but she doesn't ever get propa vex at me..and she forever encourages me..and feeds me!!!
I am thankful for my grandpa, and how he always has jokes and is the smartest guy i know...
I am thankful for the lie my teacher blew today to well...people that kinda "discriminated" against me..i'm okay with it, really...i'm chubby, okay, i'm okay with that, lol...and my dean sent me to some lady organizing a cultural fashion show thing..now, i had no idea what it was about, and the woman be talking about, they don't have the clothes yet, and so they don't know the sizes, and well, you know how they sew these days, economizing and all...LMAO...poor lady...she was looking for a delicate way to tell me i'm heavy...but then my teacher was like, okay, if you need her...then sumn sumn, i'm sure you won't have any problems, she speaks four languages..in a very HA! brains win over your superficiality way...i speak three...
I am thankful for the fact that i am able not to give in to "peer" pressure...i don't think i have ever had that as a problem..maybe i'm a tad selfish to give a hoot about living to satisfy someones standards...but most of all..i think it's because i have a very rational head on my shoulders, and i'm always the mature voice of logic and reason...and i am thankful for that!!!
I am thankful that i am oh so fine :P...yes, superficial..but that red lipstick today had me feelin fierce!
I am thankful that even though i am hopeless at solving most of my own emotional problems, i always seem to be able to come up with very sound advice for my friends in need...
I am thankful that deep down...i am okay with me...even if i indulge in minor complaints
I am thankful that..okay, this one is controversial...but i am thankful that i am able to put up a solid wall between me and all those silly infatuation kinds of things. Two words : SO WRONG...anything that makes me go silly and not in control is not a good thing..on the downside...for me to "fall in love" would be a task...
I am thankful that i am stronger than i was a month before, that i am able to say no to many things, that i am able to look at things more critically and not compromise where compromise is not needed...
I am thankful for my friends...that i know i can shamelessly lean on for emotional support...they are like springs of happiness!
I am thankful for emotions...because they make things so fun! crying..laughing...liking
I am thankful for my history test today!!! i sounded like a bumbling fool and the man gave me an "excellent" grade...this is not unfair, btw..i do deserve that grade..i know everything he has ever said, i do! i do! just that explaining the history of Ukraine in Ukrainian...well, not every Ukrainian can do it so...ha!
I am thankful that i live at HOME with my grandparents and not in a hostel...as fun as it sounds at first...it's not worth it..home wins everytime, for so many reasons it would be an insult to even mention..
I am thankful for sleep...so simple, so uncomplicated, so utterly free...and yet so wonderful...mmm
I'm sleepy :P have a test tomorrow..language..
I am thankful for written words
I am thankful for spoken words
I am thankful for words read
I am thankful for words heard
I am thankful for His word
I am thankful for words!!! communication is a beautiful thing
be good now...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
