Thankful Thursday: Fading like a flower....

So i can't remember if i did the sequel to the post about love, but this could be one in a series.

After we get all fired up and go ahead and love, or learn to love, or pay attention to the lessons and strengthen our resolutions (believe me, sometimes you ask yourself why you're doing this again?) and love...

This is all well and good. But a good thing that does you bad is no longer a good thing and the trouble with love is that at some point our vision blurs and we accept pain and suffering as parts of love. Now, there are trials, and sometimes they will drive you mad and you will question your sanity, what with loving this person and all...but that is different from when love has truly gone sour and needs to be left alone.

Lesson 3.

Learning to let go and move on is just as important as learning to love with abandon. It is the yin to the yang of love. This is the act that completes love and makes it whole. I don't know if i'm making sense to you, but just the other day, that blissful thing happened when body, mind and soul, you understand something someone wrote or said with clearly more understanding than you had at the time.

My love is true and complete because should the need arise, i can leave it and move on. No regrets, and minimal anger and hurt, i hope, but i should be able to put it down and walk away. If love becomes a shackle around your ankle or an anchor you don't want, then you live in fear of it and resent it, much like something sinister but unknown in a King novel.

But when you know that you love because you CHOOSE to do so, because you chose to give in to it and to share it and to give someone this gift, this part of you, and that it doesn't oblige you in any way..then there is no fear because it's not a game or a gamble or anything of the sort.

I'm not entirely sure, but i think it was a Coelho book. Eleven Minutes or Brida, but there was an illustration with a flower and how all we can do is enjoy its beauty when it gives it to us. If we grow selfish and pluck it to keep with us, to be there at OUR whim, it dies and is no more. While we observe it when it is willing to share, it is beautiful, it is splendid. We can appreciate it. However the time comes when that flower moves on....but it's okay, because we allowed it give us what it will, and hold no grudges when it can do that no longer. It doesn't make the time when it bloomed wasted or untrue or not intense or anything of the sort.

Such is the matter with this love thing. Eleven Minutes described this near perfectly. I only understood it weeks after reading the book. Maria could love so truly because she knew she could, and would leave it all and move across the world...the story did have a happy ending, but my point here is that she was able to bring down her walls and love because she was giving in to it for the present. For what it is. While it was in its own er..natural bloom, if you would. Now i've started spouting silly phrases that are embarrasing me...but you get the point.

As with many things, it ends up being a circle, huh? The two seem to be necessary and beneficial for each other. Loving and letting go. I don't know about you, but knowing i'm not a prisoner allows me to enjoy the sunset without thinking it a traitor when it gives way to night...The moon and the stars are beautiful too, you know :)

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for God

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for inspiration

I am thankful for blessings

I am thankful for confession

I am thankful for truth

I am thankful for understanding

I am thankful for wisdom

I am thankful for lessons

I am thankful for His presence

I am thankful for food

I am thankful for the little things..that really are the big things

I am thankful for growth

I am thankful for studying...like! Finals draw near yo!

I am thankful for work

I am thankful for me

I am thankful!

Thankful Thursday: For Testimonies.

Today is one of those days. One of those Thursdays that i am torn between unconditional Thankfulness, and confusion over the way things in life turn out.

I am thankful for so many things, and at the same time, there are things that happen that make me want to bury my head ostrich style and not face them. I grow numb and am unable to confront or make sense of the situation. I am not boasting of this, i am just stating how they are.

I am thankful for God, and i am thankful for life, and i am thankful for prayer and i am thankful for all the testimonies, personal and recorded that prove that He is there, and He is able to move mountains.

It's this very truth that makes it all the more painful when situations test and seemingly contradict that which your faith is built on. When faith and prayer and God moving seem to be the very things that remain impassive in the face of your calling on them.

P has tremendous faith. Faith that i even begin to hope to match. In the face of adversity, of questions, she does not waver in her declaration that God is able. I get hurt and throw tantrums and refuse to deal. Her faith has refused to allow me do this, even when i am on the verge of losing it and hurling questions and accusations skyward.

Surely our testimonies are not in vain? The prayers we believe in and the proof we have that they are heard and answered are also not in vain? Can faith and preseverance and prayer and love actually go ahead and amount to exactly nothing but pain?

I am one to turn cynical and bitter. I get over it eventually, but i am slow to trust and it burns deep when i place all of my trust, shamelessly in what i belive in...and it falls through. It cuts right through everything i am and healing is slow coming.

God is not a liar. God is not wicked to encourage us only to let us down. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He confirms His word. We believe this word and we turn to it for guidance and encouragement. All that we are in Him is based on His testimony. If then, this all comes to naught...shaken and overturned will not come close to describing my spirit and my faith.

If not for any reason other than honesty, our prayers should be heard on this, they should make a difference...if not...what is the point of it all, really?

She deserves a miracle. We don't earn this or that from God, but she DESERVES this miracle.

And in due time, we too will add our own testimony to the flabbergasting works that God has done.

Habakkyk 3:2

Lord, I have heard of your fame;
    I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord.
Repeat them in our day,
    in our time make them known;
    in wrath remember mercy.


He could not have shown me this only to mock me. He is not an evil God. He cannot possibly find pleasure in picking at our wounds, at the spots He knows are our weakest. Encouragement makes no sense if its only purpose is to slam us harder against the ground when we land.

My faith will not waver, and the end is only when He says. He is the Alpha and Omega and creator of everything. Nothing is beyond Him or impossible. There are no "that was then" and "this is now" about it. He doesn't change His nature because our concept of time has progressed from the moments we have as the testimony of His works.

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for faith

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for miracles

I am thankful for encouragement

I am thankful for peace

I am thankful for grace

I am thankful for prayer

I am thankful for persistence

I am thankful that "impossible" is not a concept of any relevance where God is concerned

I am thankful that He is faithful

I am thankful that He loves us

I am thankful that He is just

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for blessings

I am thankful for guidance

I am thankful.

Thankful Thursday: Lesson 2

Working through pain, distrust and rejection. Humility, apology, understanding, patience selflessness.

Continuing the series on how love teaches us what Jesus called us to. It's the way God is with us even when we are being difficult and unappreciative and misunderstanding His love.

Moving on. You have to be willing to take risks to make progress. Among those risks is losing what you love as a result. But that is also progress. Not necessarily subject to qualification as good or bad.

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for God

I am thankful for family

I am thankful for understanding

I am thankful for honesty

I am thankful for progress

I am thankful for wisdom

I am thankful for music

I am thankful for prayer

I am thankful for blessings

I am thankful for favour

I am thankful for learning and lessons learned

I am thankful for sleep

I am thankful for working out

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for tears

I am thankful for peace

I am thankful for care

I am thankful for emotions

I am thankful for indifference

I am thankful for Resolve

I am thankful for moving on

I am thankful for letting go

I am thankful for walks

I am thankful for rain

I am thankful for cold

I am thankful.

Musing Monday :P

There is no shame in loving.

1 John 3:14
We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death.

1 John 4:7
Dear friend, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

In today's workd, love has been made the enemy. Misinterpreted, misplaced, it has been made out to be the source of pain and confusion. Cynicism is encouraged, bravado is hailed as the best defence. If you slip and love, you've lost. We teach ourselves to protect ourselves from the one thing we should abandon ourselves to, risks and all. We, if blessed to have this feeling should not be building walls to keep it out at all costs, relying on our wills and strength to resist it. We should obey God, even in this, a field that we subconsciously keep separate...when it is one thing that God CONTINUOUSLY instructs us to embrace...but we break it down in agape and eros and whatever other sort of love there is and decree and declare and act like God won't do anything as trivial as ask us to fall in love,to be in love, to abandon ourselves to love. We righteously carry on like the only Love God is on about is the feed the poor and clothe the naked love. (That is not the topic of this post. There is nothing the matter with that context of love). We act like pre teens and are embarassed to say yes, if i love, am in love, it is a blessed thing. It is not silly, it is not "unserious" spiritually...

We should give in to it, praying for God's guidance through it, not asking Him, who IS Himself Love to protect us from it, or to take it away from us because we fear potential pain.

Culture took a deceitful turn at some point, pulling the wool over our eyes, teaching us that love is pain and is to be avoided at all costs. And we blindly, stupidly follow this, not even noticing the lie we've been slipped, because it is a "small" "not so serious on a grand scale" thing.

We look to God's word for other things, but this one, we've let it slip. LOVE. Give in to it, embrace it, take the risk and plunge in. It IS the substance of God. God loves us passionately, we are His bride, He woos us, He gave His only son that we may be saved, He forgives us and loves us unconditionally. Crazily, like, He is NOT thinking that He looks silly or that we are using Him. He just goes on giving us His all. He went to the greatest length that can be gone to to save us, to have us with Him...and then someone tries to separate romantic love as a small, insignificant offshoot of Love? gimme a break.

His word instructs us to love. It doesn't say, in some situations, love, and in these here other ones, please hold back. There is no footnote with that sort of message. It says, listen to you heart. If your heart is particularly asking you to love, then why resist it? In the context that God instructs us to love.

1 John 4:11
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made Complete in us.

:18

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears it is not made perfect in love.

:19

We love because He first loved us.

This relationship God blesses us with. This oppotunity, this intimacy, patience, relentlessly pursing us, loving us, forgiving us...this is the Great Romance. God is into head over heels. He IS head over heels in love with us. He puts Tom cruise on Oprah's couch to shame. That's how God feels about you...There is no selfishness in His love. He does.not.care. How He looks, going ape over you...this is love.

Fear has to do with punishment. This is the association of Love that the world has given us. That we are to fear love, because love is punishment and pain. When in truth, it is the opposite. It only becomes so when we expect something in return for the love we feel we have done someone the "favour" of giving. That is a misguided approach. This brings us to the very core of what love is, and what it is supposed to be. Selfless and unconditional, wanting NOTHING in return. Corinthians type love.

If and when you find it in you, if you allow God teach you, open you heart and at least glimpse the concept of just loving, because it is the desire in your heart, not setting down getting love in return as a prerequisite for giving it, not counting it an "investment" that should yield returns, THEN, love gives us joy from giving it, and not from receiving it. Receiving it is the cherry on top. In the way things are connected in this world, you will have no shortage of love, if you open your soul to it. But loving because you feel it in your soul, and giving in to it because it's what your heart wants, not looking for anything in return...that is ecstasy.

If for no other reason, then give in to love at least once, abandon youself to it, if for no other reason than a lesson in selflessness. Surely it will give you some insight as to what the Bible is on about on that topic.

I pray you are able to be vulnerable, to open your hearts, to unfold yourself to take down the walls at least a bit...and allow yourselves to love, without pride, without shame. It's not about winning. It is not a game. You have nothing to lose...and if you have nothing to lose, and you are not fighting, and no one is keeping score...then you are free, and there will be no hurt. Understand it like this. It's only when we keep score and turn love into trade that we are hurt. And even if, and when we do get hurt...it's all right, because you can say..i Loved. Totally and completely. For whatever period of time, my heart was filled with joy, i soared, i was alive, i am alive...and the growth it brings with it will never leave you..And that's all right.

And that's Monday's thought....hmm.

Thankful Thursday: When it rains, it pours...

It's either life is like this in general, or my life has a special knack for taking the piss.

It's gotten so regular that i can predict certain things like clockwork...premonitions, confirmation, chain reaction...it's all so ridiculous sometimes that you just want to cry...there is no energy to even be upset or angry...just neutral tears...

You know...all loneliness wants from us is to spend time with us...And somehow, we keep running, looking for people and things to spend time with so that we can avoid it...but all it wants...is to cosy up with us...and we act like it has cooties...it provides the one thing we seek in our marathon escaping it...It's there when nothing else is...reliable, welcoming, open arms ready to comfort..why do we insult it so?

I am thankful for life

I am thankful for God

I am thankful for books

I am thankful for prayer

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for work

I am thankful for words

I am thankful for blessings

I am thankful for favour

I am thankful for understanding

I am thankful for wisdom

I am thankful for experience

I am thankful for solitude

I am thankful for who He is making me

I am thankful for God's love

I am thankful for sleep

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for peace

I am thankful for our trainer :P cool people!

I am thankful for new things

I am thankful for finished chapters

I am thankful for moving on

I am thankful for being true to myself

I am thankful for music

I am thankful for routine

I am thankful for changes

I am thankful for distraction

I am thankful for numbness

I am thankful for feelings

I am thankful for letting go

I am thankful for Love

I am thankful for Joy

I am thankful for contentment

I am thankful for food

I am thankful for kindness

I am thankful for patience

I am thankful for communication

I am thankful for pain

I am thankful for tears

I am thankful for beauty

I am thankful for nautre

I am thankful for art

I am thankful!

Thankful Thursday: 1, 2, 3.

1. Do not ever let anyone intimidate you.

2. Thrive wherever you are planted, no matter the conditions...Work as though for God and not man.

3. Faith.

I am thankful for Life.

I am thankful for God.

I am thankful for Literature...

I am thankful for the opportunity to read all the books i have practically consumed in the last couple of weeks. Stieg Larsson was a blessed person!

I am thankful for Wisdom

I am thankful for music

I am thankful for my family

I am thankful for Grace

I am thankful for blessings

I am thankful for favour

I am thankful for my co-workers

I am thankful for the atmosphere at work

I am thankful for patience

I am thankful for understanding

I am thankful for forgiveness

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for my mother

I am thankful for my relationships with my family members

I am thankful for growth

I am thankful for change

I am thankful for chance

I am thankful for consistency

I am thankful for laughter

I am thankful for humour

I am thankful for faith

I am thankful that He leads us to where we are meant to be according to His perfect plan...one step at a time

I am thankful for His love

I am thankful for inspiration

I am thankful for lessons learned

I am thankful for thicker skin

I am thankful for resolutions...That have dawned on me while being enacted. Resolutions declared rarely yield positive results

I am thankful for prayer

I am thankful for kindness

I am thankful for positivity

I am thankful for good people..they exist. In varying shades of permanency

I am thankful that i have God, and nothing else matters. He sees everything, and He is fair and Just.

I am thankful for unanswered prayers

I am thankful that i have so much to be thankful for. Whatever i want and don't have, there's a good reason behind it. We shouldn't let focus on these things make us ungrateful for everything else. That i am thankful about so much doesn't mean i don't have pain you cannot even begin to imagine...i just know that it's not permanent...so we man up and move on...

I am thankful!

Thankful Thursday: No regrets.

It's very simple, really. Straightforward as the title. No regrets. Of course there are things i think i would have  handled differently, given the chance. Of course i'm not sanctioning mistakes i've made or saying they are good and everyone should have a go. However, i do not regret any period or phase in my life, because they have led me to this very place i am right now. And this is a place, space that i'm quite content in. No, i have not peaked, no, i have not attained everything attainable...but that is not a problem for one minute. I have my whole life ahead of me, God willing, and there are things that are yet to happen, and have their own time and place.

The more i pay attention to the picture of my life, the clearer i see the connections, causes and effects, how things happen with that perfect timing that God has. At any given moment in time, i have everything i NEED. It may not be everything i want or crave, but as God is my witness, it's exactly what i need. God always sets it up such that there is a seamless transition between one phase and the next. He always provides a getaway when things get too much. He changes my scenery just at the point when i can't stand the previous one any longer in any way, He moves me on to the next. Lessons learned along the way, wisdom, and growth...Yup, i have no regrets. o

Maybe it's the same for everyone, maybe God wires our lives different, but i know that a long time ago i turned it all over to Him, and live with the trust and faith that He is in control, and whatever happens in my life, happens according to His will...and when i run away and try to go against it, He always leads me back, takes the situation, and shapes it into the way He intended..

So i am thankful. I am beyond thankful. My soul is doing that thing where it feels like it's swollen with joy and bursts out of my body in random smiles, and even more random tears. Have you ever been there? have you ever been so joyful you want to cry?

What am i happy about? Life. Here, now. His presence in it. It's that simple. It's nothing spectacular at the same time as it is everything amazing. He calmed my fears, he soothes my anxiety away, He provides for me, He protects me, He bestows favour upon me, He gives me joy. This is why i'm happy. Because God makes it all okay. And it is. All okay that is..and me? I'll be fine..i always am. :)

I am thankful for Life

I am thankful for God

I am thankful for my mother

I am thankful for my sisters

I am thankful for my father

I am thankful for my grandparents

I am thankful for the favour He smothers me in

I am thankful for my Uni

I am thankful for Miss O, who hooked me up with this internship/job...God bless her over and over again. Y'all should say a prayer!

I am thakful for my job

I am thankful for the people at work

I am thankful for encouragement

I am thankful for my friends

I am thankful for love

I am thankful for Joy

I am thankful for Church

I am thankful for sleep

I am thankful for communication

I am thankful for inspiration

I am thankful for growth

I am thankful for new beginnings

I am thankful for shedding skin...figuratively, not literally..i am not a reptile.

I am thankful for humour

I am thankful for books

I am thankful for literature in general..words, language

I am thankful for God's blessings

I am thankful for all those little things He put into my life along the way that are suddenly the big things and decide big, important things

I am thankful for trust

I am thankful for prayer

I am thankful for His faithfulness

I am thankful for forgiveness

I am thankful for Time

I am thankful for Understanding

I am thankful for patience

I am thankful for wisdom

I am thankful for His peace

I am thankful for His Love

I am thankful!

Everything i am, is by the Grace of God. And for this, i am humbled and thankful and so very joyful.